I’ve decided to avoid everything on the internet today (except for my blog), television, the radio, and newspapers. I just wanted to see if I could do it. But for some reason I have a nagging feeling that there is something I am supposed to do today. Eh… anyway.
I know everyone is sick about hearing about the election and I said I wasn’t going to do this but this election is too important to not support a candidate. Like I said yesterday this dude looks legit and I am writing him in for President.
Why you ask?
-He looks like Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Boogie Nights and Buffalo Bill had a kid together.
-He has a kick ass My Little Pony collection
-I want to know more about the dragon painting over his shoulder
-His healthcare policy would involve lollipops being used in a creepy way
-Is that a llama in his arms, an alpaca, what is it?
-He has to be smarter than Bush
-There is mullet growing potential here
-His energy policy would involve biofuels and corn oil that he regularly spreads on his meaty man nipples
-Anyone that has glasses that are at least ten years outdated means that they are too important and too busy to go out and get new glasses… Or totally poor.
-All sex crimes will be taken off the books, you know this guy has to pay for it.
I don’t think in my entire life I have been drawn to a picture like this before. I could sit here for hours and think of random things about this gentleman.
What do you think this guy’s back-story is?