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Celebrity Political Endorsements Are Worthless

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/3/08 @ 7:30 am

The political season is almost over (thankfully) and by this time next week we will have a new President. Well that is if the race isn’t super tight and 5,000 lawsuits aren’t filed in swing states. I thought about weighing in and endorsing a candidate but personally I think that is the most obnoxious thing ever. Why is my choice for President valuable information? I guess it could be worse; I could be a major celebrity who believes they need to enlighten and influence you.

Is there an endorsement that means less than one from a celebrity? (okay maybe like a sexual predator or one coming from George Bush)  Celebrities routinely make piss poor life and career decisions so I should listen to them in who I should select for President? Lets take a look at who has weighed in so far and the reasons why we shouldn’t listen to them.

Why you shouldn’t listen to him:
George Clooney almost single handedly killed the Batman movie franchise before the recent relaunch with Christian Bale. The highlight of the first ten years of his career was a reoccurring role of “Facts of Life” and he made “Leatherheads” which made me reevaluate my desire to ever watch a movie about sports again. Plus when Mindy Cohen factors into the highlights of your career that isn’t good.

Voting for: Obama

Why you shouldn’t listen to him: Where do you want me to start? “Stop or My Mom Will Shoot”, “Judge Dredd”, or “Demolition Man”…YOU GET FINED IF YOU SWEAR. (dumbest future gimmick ever) it doesn’t matter which film because the questionable taste of Stallone is evident through his entire career. Additionally the dude got busted for steroid possession when he was filming the latest “Rambo” movie. So not only do you have a guy that was out acted by Estelle Getty but someone that has an arrest record that also slept with Brigitte Nielsen.

Voting for: McCain

Why you shouldn’t listen to him: America collectively suffered from Affleck over exposure from 2004-2006 causing Affleck to pretty much go underground and stay out of the public light. Between “Gigli”, “Jersey Girl”, and “Paycheck” he had a three movie run that devalued his earnings at the box office. Plus he was engaged to that bitch Jennifer Lopez and embarrassingly acted like a fourteen year old in love, he his going to hate when those interview clips rear their ugly head every couple of years for the rest of his life.

Voting for: Obama

Why you shouldn’t listen to her: Have you ever actually watched “The View”? You can cross out the political recommendations from anyone on that show. Listening to those idiots talk about politics is like listening to the kid down the street with downs syndrome talk about astrophysics.

Voting for: McCain (Hasselbeck), Obama (everyone else)

Why you shouldn’t listen to her: She isn’t even American, she is Colombian. And really you can what you want about the problems that this country is facing but at least we don’t routinely have political people killed by drug cartels. Plus she is the modern day version of Charo, you know if they relaunch the love boat she is going to be a special reoccurring guest like every two months.

Voting for: Obama

Why you shouldn’t listen to them: Two stars of a television show that is about nothing. I still can’t figure out if it is reality television or scripted. Heidi is a needy idiot that stays with a verbally abusive boyfriend and Spencer is just a dick with really huge teeth. I openly pray for the day I read about a dump truck crushing them as they cross a street in LA pretending to get away from the paparazzi that they secretly called to cover them. “Please stop following me… But make sure you get my good side…”

Voting for: McCain

So there you have it. Make sure you go out and vote, whomever it is for… Personally I am endorsing this guy for President.

He looks legit.

Do you want to hear celebrities’ advice on anything except their vocation?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

28 Responses to “Celebrity Political Endorsements Are Worthless”

  1. Chris says:

    Woo, first baby!
    Anyways, I always wondered why celebrities always seem to think that what they think is more important than what anyone else thinks. I say that once you sell your soul to hollywood, you should have to give up the right to vote. I hate how they always try to tell us what’s important (see:Darfur,global warming,crocs), when really, I couldn’t care less about what they think.

    Just make a goddamn entertaining movie, take my 8 bucks, and shut the hell up.

    • It blows my mind that someone is trying to explain something to me that has no formal training or education on the matter. Like Jenny McCarthy talking about autism… You were in playboy and on Singled Out but now that you had an autistic kid I should take her serious and listen to her opinion on it? If I get cancer it doesn’t make me an expert on cancer by default.

  2. I’d still plow that Hasselbeck chick forty ways til Sunday, though. So long as I didn’t have to listen to her afterward.

    The View = Clucking Hens. Buk…Buk…BUGAWK

  3. Em Em says:

    Ew. I don’t know which picture is scarier, Stallones nightmare of a plastic surgery botched face or the last picture of the freak with the stuffed llama but either way I’m having nightmares tonight! Thanks for that!

  4. [...] Celebrity Political Endorsements Are Worthless | Pointless Banter. Written by marshal in: Uncategorized | [...]

  5. David says:

    Clooney has done something right to afford to have a massive castle-like second home on Lake Cuomo.

  6. Vince says:

    I’m going to have to disagree with you on this Kevin. If I didn’t have celebrities telling me what to do, what to buy and what to eat I’d be sleeping naked, cold and hungry out on the street. In fact I think celebrities need to be running for office, not making movies.

    I think everyone should cast a write-in vote for Corey Haim and Corey Feldman. Its really the only logical choice.

    Haim/Feldman ‘08!!

  7. kate says:

    stewart/colbert 08

  8. country girl says:

    Of course he’s legit! Anybody with a fuzzy alpaca in their arms wins. Hands down, no contest.

  9. Meghan says:

    Somebody tell Stallone that aging as well as Mickey Rourke is NOT a good thing.

    I don’t know why everyone is always so up in arms about Clooney. Yeah, he can act like Clooney in LOTS of movies! I’m not secretly wet because he’s in the 1% of people that can find Darfur on a map.

  10. Melissa says:

    Hey, I liked Demolition Man…for Wesley Snipes that is. His character rocked!

    Anyone who votes a certain way because their favorite movie star says so deserves to be beaten.

  11. AngieSS says:

    The sad thing is that there are a tremendous amount of people that do listen to celebrities. Just check out all of the tabloid site’s comments — those people actually take the time to talk about celebs like they are best friends. It’s crazy. Face it, people are enamored of celebrities. I’m not one of them. I can’t imagine basing my vote off of something George Clooney said–though I’d totally use him for sex. Sorry, but I would!

  12. judge smails says:


  13. Scott says:

    Well said. I’m so tired of celeb endorsements. I feel like they are more than welcome to voice their opinions but their endorsements don;t me jack to me.

  14. I love Jennifer Lopez. Badly she is not my Girlfriend :) .

  15. Vince says:

    Use a sharpie and write it on the screen, that should work, or demand that your vote be counted and write it on a piece of paper.

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