Rules to follow when picking up an underage girl

This is part of my instructions for life series.
You know I can’t say that I have ever picked up an underage girl nor would I want to. But I think if you went about it here are some of the things you need to consider.
1) While the idea of a van sounds cool it actually [...]

Why did you deceive me, Penthouse?

“Alright stop whatcha doin’, cause I’m about to ruin, the image and the style that ya used to. I look funny, but yo’ I’m makin’ money see, so yo world I hope yo’ ready for me. Now gather round, I’m the new fool in town, and my sound’s laid down by the (pointlessbanter.net), I drink [...]

Pizza Hut is run by liars and their food is crap

Never have I had my intelligence or the small amount of intelligence that I have, insulted than when I watch the new Pizza Hut commercials promoting their new line of pastas. For those without a television or for those who live in a different country, blessed by the fact you lack this shithole of an [...]

The Five Scenes that Ruined Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, this movie came out months ago.  This is yesterday’s news.  Well I have a nine month old in the house so I don’t exactly “get out to the movies much” or “have much of a life.”  So I just finally got around to watching it now that it’s out on DVD.
Let [...]

Oh you are a complete train wreck? We should totally date.

I don’t want to get all sappy here in the introduction to this blog but maybe it will get me some sympathy poon. (Of course using the word poon negates the chances of me getting any.) When I found out I was moving to NYC because of my new venture I broke up with the [...]

Dominican Lou is my new best friend

Yesterday on my way to the airport in NYC I had a taxi ride with a guy that was exactly like Dominican Lou on SNL.

It was probably the most fantastical journey of my entire life because the conversation rocked.
Although I could understand like 4 out of every 10 words he said those 4 words were [...]