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Oct
31

Letting your repressed inner slut and inner lush out is okay

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/31/08 @ 8:54 am

This is a response piece to Trick or Tart?

For years I used to loathe going out on New Year’s Eve or St. Patrick’s Day because it was a night where people that barely drank rest of the year would get hammer. Most of the people couldn’t hold their alcohol and the night usually regressed into a horrible night out (long lines at the bar, vomit covered bathrooms, and fights galore). However as I aged I realized that these were nights where you could pick up a totally different type of woman, the repressed inner lush/slut that is using a holiday as their excuse to throw caution to the wind and make some poor life decisions. And when someone wants to make a poor life choice who is better to be that poor life choice than me?

It is hilarious to me that women use Halloween to dress up as a naughty (insert vocation or animal here) wearing an outfit that they would normally reserve for a boyfriend’s birthday where it would be viewed only behind closed doors. Sure these outfits show an amazing lack of creativity but who needs creativity when you have a potential nipple slip ready to happen the entire night?

I am all for people that lead a totally repressed life to go crazy every once and awhile. Maybe you have a respectable job where you are conservatively dressed and actual responsibilities in life that keeps you from the occasional bender.  Or perhaps you were raised as a Mormon. Whatever the case may be letting that repression out while dressed as a kitty cat wearing nothing more than lingerie, ears, and a tail is personally okay in my book. Even more so if you are pounding down Jaeger bombs and thinking that I look better after each and every shot. These people deserve to let their hair down! (and for them to wake up the next morning next to me wondering what they were thinking)

Another point my dear friend Trista made was that the rise of the slut costume is hurting the purchasing options for parents finding costumes for their children. I have two responses to that. First, go to Wal-mart and avoid the specialty Halloween stores.  Wal-mart is known for repression, good Christian values, and anti-smuttiness; you are bound to find something for your kids there. Or just buy them a cardboard box with some suspenders and let them create their own costume.

Nice popcorn box... here is your swirlie.

Nice popcorn box... here is your swirlie.

Our society hands things to children on a plate. Pre-made costumes (where is the creativity?), the ability to watch cartoons 24-7 (when I was growing up you had Saturday morning and possibly after school on a UHF station), nerf ball shooting guns (we shot bb guns at each other), and all this parental safety bullshit. It is time we stop doing this and I think making them create their own Halloween costumes is a great start. Then the kid with the least artistic ability would get shit on for having a crappy costume teaching them that not all costumes are created equal and that their lame attempt means they should never attempt something artistic again. (Of course this kid will become a football player and will kick the crap out of the artistic kids for the next ten years of their lives.)

In closing I think that we should let Halloween be about the release of a woman’s inner skank along with pagan and devil worship.

Happy Halloween everyone…

What are you doing this evening that is fun?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

21 Responses to “Letting your repressed inner slut and inner lush out is okay”

  1. kate says:

    besides unleashing my inner slut in my cowardly lion costume, i’m getting drunk and probably od on some starbursts

  2. Fiona says:

    I’m taking the kid trick-or-treating… in a home-made costume because the little witch wouldn’t accept a store-bought one. Damnit.

  3. Branwyn says:

    Years ago a friend of mine mixed both of your suggestions. She was very petite, so we took the giant cardboard ice cream barrels, from Baskin ‘n Robbin, and made her into a Budweiser beer. Took some aluminum foil, made her a “pop top” head piece…There ya go: Girl and beer all in one. It was very creative, looked really good too, if I do say so myself.

  4. Trista says:

    I was going to come over and argue with you, but I got hung up by this statement:

    “And when someone wants to make a poor life choice who is better to be that poor life choice than me?”

    and I was overwhelmed with the validity. So I decided to read the rest of the post carefully, seeking out truth.

    Didn’t find any, but I tried. Just so you know.

    Sluts can come play any night of the week, and the costumes will be cheaper too. Let the kids have their day back.

    • Nobody has made worse choices than I, trust me, Trista.

      And the kids have had their day all along. Their day usually ends right around ten o’clock, after they crash from their sugar highs and then the sluttiness starts. Or as my old pappy used to say, “you can never have too much of a good thing, unless you get that good thing pregnant.”

    • That is true… it is nice if someone has a school girl or a nurses outfit ready to go….

      But screw the kids… I don’t care about their day. Every day is kids day.

  5. [...] there is a riCOCKulous response to this at pointlessbanter.net Go read, you know, if you have nothing better to [...]

  6. Chris says:

    I’m actually spending my halloween night see how many kids I can run over in three hours while running deliveries.

    Then gonna get some drinks and hope for the best.

  7. PJ says:

    Some sluts just wanna be sluts, and some non-sluts wanna be sluts for a night. On this one, I’ll turn to the Beatles for advice, “Let it Be.”

  8. Jeff says:

    I get to work tonight. I know, I live life on the edge.

  9. Thomas says:

    Well, I’m Pagan so I have that last bit down pretty well already.

    Personally, I like to go out and party on the holidays that aren’t about getting hammered. The people that you find yourself in a bar with on Thanksgiving and Easter are always the most fun, friendless, without emotional support and generally depressed to a dangerous degree.

    That and a half dozen carbombs is a party waiting to happen.

  10. Malia says:

    I dressed up like a Gremlin. You know, one of the evil ones. I had to work on Halloween and pass out candy to kids that stopped by my place of employment. Also, I reserved the grape candies for the little black children. Was that wrong? I thought I was being thoughtful.

  11. JT says:

    I was Catwoman, complete with leather boots and pants made out of bondage tape. It was creepy.

  12. judge smails says:

    Thomas belongs in the MTV pimp my ride with the Gov. Arnold Schwarchenegger, where being green and gay with a touch of rainbow bright is a way of life…. vote…. JUST DON’T

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