This is part of my instructions for life series.
You know I can’t say that I have ever picked up an underage girl nor would I want to. But I think if you went about it here are some of the things you need to consider.
1) While the idea of a van sounds cool it actually is a little creepy
The free candy van is just an internet joke, nobody would actually enter one. Vans without windows just remind people how the governor’s daughter was abducted at the start of “Silence of the Lambs.” On a side note whenever you are out in a bar and see an overweight girl signing “American Girl” to you just kind of laugh to yourself and think about that movie? (Is it just me?)
2) Kids don’t respond to candy or puppies these days like the used to
Back in the day it was much easier to get the attention of underage girls. A cute puppy, sweets, and dolls were usually more than enough to pick up chicks. Now kids are drinking earlier, more technologically advanced, and way smarter. So you either have to buy them booze or get them an I-pod.
3) Mustaches are automatically a deal breaker
No matter how much you ultimately want to give someone a mustache ride it is a deal breaker with dealing with anyone under the age of 35.
4) Hanging out in front of the school is probably a bad idea
While you would think the natural place to pick up an underage girl is out in front of her school it is probably a bad idea. You know with the whole law enforcement and multiple adults around thing. It is all about the mall and malt shops or that is what the creepy old guy that lives down the street told me.
5) Going over to her parent’s house for dinner is something you should pass on
Nothing would blow your cover and be more uncomfortable than going over to her parent’s house for dinner. Well unless you live in the south where it would be socially acceptable. While she might pressure you that she wants to show you off to her parents and let everyone know about your relationship you probably should curb that idea.
So there you go, happy hunting and I hope you burn in hell for breaking the law.
Any tips that you would like to share?