Never have I had my intelligence or the small amount of intelligence that I have, insulted than when I watch the new Pizza Hut commercials promoting their new line of pastas. For those without a television or for those who live in a different country, blessed by the fact you lack this shithole of an eating establishment, let me explain the commercial for you. The commercial starts out hidden camera style at a high class Italian restaurant with people chowing down on a pasta meal and saying how great it is. The viewers and the patrons of the restaurant are then told that they aren’t eating from the actual restaurant that the pasta is actually delivered from Pizza Hut. Of course the customers are shocked and amazed at the quality of the Pizza Hut food. It sounds pretty harmless but it is utter and complete bullshit, let me explain why.
1) If I went to an Italian restaurant and they only offered four pastas on the menu I would burn the place to the ground
I know some fine restaurants offer a really limited menu because everything is completely fresh or for eclectic reason. However an upper end place shoveling out just pasta isn’t realistic. If I went out to a nice dinner and only had four options to choose from and they were all pasta dishes I could make at home I would bitch beyond belief. Yet in the commercial the restaurant is full and everyone is eating. You don’t see a guy sitting there shaking his head, looking over the menu and saying, “Really, I got dressed up to eat out for this? I could have made this shit out of a can.”
2) Macaroni and cheese with bacon in it would never be served in an Italian restaurant
One of the four dishes that Pizza Hut sells is Mac and Cheese with bacon in it. Who in their right mind would see that on a menu and think they are in a high class restaurant? How come no Mac and Cheese with hot dogs cut up in it? Italian food already has Macaroni and Cheese, it is called Fettuccini Alfredo and I have never seen bacon bits dropped in it.
I can’t wait to go out to a nice steak restaurant and get a hot pocket.
3) Nobody got upset when they found out it was Pizza Hut
Imagine you are taking out your fiancé to a nice dinner for an anniversary or for her birthday. You order a nice bottle of wine, you order your food, and you talk about the great service. Then you find out that the food is from Pizza Hut. Your night with her is ruined and your anniversary is forever marred. Any woman worth her salt would absolutely flip out, perhaps grabbing the cook and holding a knife to his jugular and demanding something with “some fucking truffles in it”.
What commercial has told you the biggest lie?