How to make your own shank
This is part of my how to series.
I’ve never been to prison and I really hope I don’t get caught for anything that would send me there. However though I want to be prepared just in case that time ever comes, I don’t want to end up being someone’s human pin cushion. So I learned how to make a shank and I am going to share that knowledge with you here today.
1) Find an object you can sharpen or is already sharp
I personally prefer to sharpen an object to my liking as opposed to using a fork or something that I don’t have as much control over shaping. For the sake of discussion I am going to recommend a toothbrush.
Personally I think it is more insulting to make someone bleed to death with a common household item that one wouldn’t think of as a weapon. What says, “I made you my bitch” more than carving up a Hannah Montana toothbrush and stabbing someone with it?
2) Sharpen said object, but don’t whittle it too far down
You don’t want to over sharpen your object where it whittles it down to far where you don’t have an effective blade or room to grip it. Also if you over do it you could make the blade frail where it snaps when too much pressure is applied. This would be horrible. The last thing you want to do is not finish the job and leave an opening for revenge.
3) Make a handle with tape or cloth
In a stabbing incident you want to make sure that you have a grip on the device to drive the blade into the body of Carlos the largest dealer in the joint. Being able to have a good hold on your newly made shank is rather important. Just like the sharpening step, you don’t want the shank to slip out of your hand and leave you open for retribution.
4) Practice hiding it on your person where you can make a quick draw
Up the sleeve, in your sock, or even in your waistband… wherever you decide to hide you shank make sure you can get to get quickly and wield it. Also I believe that this is a style choice. If you have it in your sleeve it shows that you are professional. In the sock says that you are a little more dramatic by having to bend down to get your shiv. The waistband hiding spot is reserved for gunslingers, very Clint Eastwood.
5) Practice hiding it in your cell just in case yours gets tossed for contraband
You may want to figure out how to jam your shank, handle first, into your rectum to protect it from getting taken by the guards if your cell gets tossed. You don’t want to lose all the handwork and craftsmanship you have put in by having it taken by guards. It is all about protecting your investment. Of course you can always bribe the guards with smokes, money, contraband, or sexual favors depending. (Usually works better in a female prison.)
So there you have it a guide on how to make a prison shank. You know just in case you ever get tossed in the hopper.
What common house hold item would you choose to make a shank out of?
That was so informative, thank you!
What if a convict sittin’ in jail somewhere read this, knifed someone with a hannah montana toothbrush, and pointed the finger at you? Bahahahahaha
Like inmates can read… come on.
“So he stuck it the only place he knew the chinks couldn’t find it: his ass. Two long years I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal, up my ass.. and now, little man, I give the shank to you.” That’s how the Chris Walken monologue SHOULD have read.
Best scene in the entire movie.
Oops, I misread shank so I thought this was going to be another craigslist piece!
It very well could have… I mean… Most of the people you meet from there you need a shank to deal with.
lol thats exacly why i read this …hahaha
wow
Just want you to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to share your vast knowledge with the masses.
Strippers, Hookers, Coke off asses and Home Whittled Shanks.
When the Police search your apartment you’re going to be the guy the neighbors say…
‘He worked from home, he seemed like such a nice young man. So quiet…we never knew.’
Just wait until next week when the wrongness level hits new heights.
*claps hands together and squeals*
I can’t wait to do those comments!!!
Great, I’ll be sure to check it from an out of state IP address so I can’t be traced back to reading it.
Whenever I do a stint in the joint I like to make my shank blades outta license plates
You have a friend in Pennsylvania and also cutting into your spleen
so educational. thanks
Well you might get arrested if we do the pedophile/little girl halloween costume, but other than that, I think you’re safe. I would make a shank out of my dog. She has pointy little teeth.
Do you think there are other ways to avoid the human protein injections? Like perhaps going on a beans only diet so that you have a skunk-type defense? I’m just thinking that it may be difficult to hide your Spongebob Squareshank in your mattress.
I have a better solution and I think “shanking” is the least of your worry than lets say being crowned as the “princess” of fellow prisoners. This tool is really for women but it will probably work on men too…….
Are you sure you haven’t been to prison? There was an awful lot of ass references in that post: “jam your shank…into your rectum” and “get tossed in the hopper”.
Not that I’d know, but I’ve heard there’s a lot of ass action in prison.
Ok, my comment really is just a comment, no added value to the discussion, just an observation of your ass-fixiation
I think I may need more info on the whole “shank up the ass” thing. I can kind of see how it could be shoved up there — handle first. But could you please explain to me how exactly you would recommend extracting it? Not that I plan on being in prison, but if I ever am I want to be able to ensure that there will be no broomsticks going in my punani. Thanks.
LOL, half a sleep I saw the link, clicked then “oh shit I hope it doesn’t send me to some werido site trying to download crap”
just happily being on your weirdo blog is good enough for me
oh and secret agent MacGyver would be proud of your shank making skills
oh and the question of the day “What common house hold item would you choose to make a shank out of?”
definately a telephone book; it won’t cut like a shank but it will cut off someone’s breathing without leaving visible bruises
I suppose hiding a telephone book in my cell wouldn’t be easy, but their were a lot of asses references here
as a future inmate (i’ll be going in Dec after a court date..) i cannot thank you enough for posting this….
Are you sure you haven’t been to prison? There was an awful lot of ass references in that post: “jam your shank…into your rectum” and “get tossed in the hopper”.
You know what a prison wallet is right?
UM ME THINKS YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING ONE TOO MANY SHOWS ON A&E.
BUT THEN AGAIN, EVERYTHING I LEARNED ABOUT FELONS I LEARNED BY WATCHING “LOCKDOWN” ON…YOU GUESSED IT..A&E AND…
THE INTERNET.
REAL PEOPLE ARE NEVER ATTRACTED TO ME, ONLY PSYCHOPATHS AND THE LIKES WHICH I AM OK WITH, BECAUSE, WELL…IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, RIGHT? RIGHT?
IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON, PER SE. WHY WAIT TIL YOU GET TO PRISON? WHY NOT CARRY YOUR SHANK WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES (EXCEPT ON THE PLANE, THEY MIGHT NOT BE AS COMPLACENT ABOUT THIS IDEA AS WE ALL ARE.)
SPEAKING OF SHANKS, I RECENTLY APPLIED TO BE A CORRECTIONAL OFFICER AND HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE NEW HAMPSHIRE DEPT OF CORRECTIONS THIS COMING MONDAY. I HAVE TO TAKE A 3HR PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION, HEHE.
PIECE OF PIE.
I FIGURE, IF I ALREADY KNOW I AM EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE, ALL I HAVE TO DO TO COME ACROSS AS NORMAL IS JUST ANSWER THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I’M THINKING.
WOW, I CAN’T SHUT UP.
This was just beyond. Thanks for the good laugh today.
SALAD TOSSING IS FUN.
JUST ASK ANYONE’S PRISON BITCH.
Funny indeed. Made for an interesting read
amazing, my name is eazy-sleazy-e becuz eazy-e would have been proud :D:D:D:D:D AMAZING! and how you think of that, its even more amazing, btw, the ass ref. problem, you really need to see a psychologist xD thanks man
pieces.
Very interesting. I was just wondering what a shank actully was and you went into total detail of how to make one and etc. cool. thankya.
i just generally dont like black people