Dirt-Stache Resurgent

Donk freely admits it: I can’t growee the facial hair.  There’s no shame in it folks.  The few times I’ve attempted to grow a goatee have left my face patchier than John Travolta’s hair plugs. And so I finally gave up.  So if an average Joe like me can admit defeat, what’s a guy like Shia Labeouf doing with a dirt-stache like this?

Oo-fa that is some crusty lookin shizz right there folks.  It looks like he glued Megan Fox’s pubes all up on his face, and if that’s the case, then more power to him.  And it doesn’t stop there.  Everywhere you look in Hollywood these past couple of years, the dirt-stache rears its bristly head.

“Hey Ladies - Free Dirt-Stache Rides!”

“OK, very funny you guys.  Now who gave me the Dirty Sanchez?”

Mustache courtesy of Meg White’s vagina

“Mommy…er, I mean Demi, says it makes me look older.”

So what is it with the dirt-stache that makes it so sheek?  Is it the way it cries out “hey I just don’t give a fuck anymore?”  The fact that it can double as a hairbrush for small dogs?  And if these oh so famous men can embrace their follicly-challenged upper lips, shouldn’t I do so as well?