I Hate People That Use Their Facebook Relationship Status For Attention
I have a very low tolerance for bullshit. Some would mistake it for total apathy when it comes to relationships but I just hate dealing with unimportant crap. However if you take every pointless argument I have endured at the tongue on an upset girlfriend and combined them into one painful 8 hour long conversation recapping the inane points that people get upset about it will pale in comparison to my annoyance when it comes to the Facebook relationship status updates.
The most pathetic usage of the Facebook relationship status update is when a couple gets into a fight and someone (usually the one with a vagina) changes their status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”. In the world of adults and grown ups there is no need to publicly air that you are having issues in your relationship. Back in the 1950s the only way your neighbors would know that you had a fight was because your wife went to the market with a shiner. Now everybody knows every little thing and all that this does is create fallout that no logical person wants to deal with.
Here are the stages of the Facebook status change and the havoc it creates.
1) You get the immediate attention whore response that you were looking for
There is always a subset of people that rushes to this type of status change like it is a horrible car accident that happened out in front of their house. They make a general generic comment like “it seems like everyone is going through it” or “keep your chin up” to make it look like they are supportive publicly. But they are also usually the first person to drop an e-mail to talk shit about the other half and say some of the most ridiculous shit ever like, “I always thought he had herpes. I can just tell by the way he says pizza.”
The ball is now rolling and it only gets worse.
2) If the other person doesn’t change their status message they get questioned
Now you have the attack of the mutual friends that have you both on their friend’s list. People start asking you what is going on and why you haven’t changed your status? Which means you either have to coldly reject your friends or rehash the story that has taken on a life of it’s own and is now blown fully out of proportion. Now not only are you in a crappy fight with your girlfriend but you have to catch shit from people that attempt to involve themselves all because they are really bored at work.
3) The creepy dude that always wanted to sleep with your girlfriend makes his move
There is something about a girl changing her status on Facebook that makes a guy think it is opening the door for her to sleep with him. Page stalkers will immediately come out and try to get into the fray by being the female’s friend and be totally against you. All of a sudden a mistake or a something small gets blown out of proportion by this guy trying to work his way into her pants, making you seem like a bigger asshole than you are. “Wait he ate the last twizzler without offering it to you? That ranks up there with having sex with your mom, sister, and best friend all at once… You should never go back to him. For the record I would never do something like that.”
4) You work things out and she changes the status back but the damage has been done
The damage to your reputation has been done, you will forever be known as a couple that breaks up and makes up or is drama filled just because of a status change. One that you probably weren’t aware of for the first 7 hours because you were too busy looking to see if the girls you lust over have changed their status message so you can swoop in and try to pick them up.
Is the Facebook status change the worst thing technology has brought us?
(This was inspired by a conversation that my friend Darcie and I had. She posted a blog about this: How Facebook is Changing Dating)
I hearby change my current pointlessbanter status from ‘rad’ to ‘awesome’.
People are going to question it… thanks for stirring shit. Now the people that have their relationships set to redonkulous will be swooping in.
I don’t like when people list that they are ‘In a Relationship with…’ so and so. You really have to stake claim on toss a name up on your page?
And the relationship isn’t complicated, your need for attention is batshit cukoobananas.
Yeah it is the desperate plea for attention that drives me insane.
I’ll second this. This is usually done by the person that is so insecure about themselves that they have to list everything they do on their Facebook page. They put 4,000 pictures of themselves, their brats and their significant others up there as a way to show the world they they are THEIRS!
These are also generally the *ahem* chicks that are organizing reunions. Coincidence?
Can I write about this too, Kevin? No plagiarism will occur. You got me going about this one.
Go for it… It’s the web write about what you want man!
Does this mean our relationship is doomed? Damn.
I dont get the need to advertise to the world what your relationship status is. I may be odd man out but I do not see facebook and the like as a pick up hot spot.
I think it was doomed from the beginning because of the same genitalia issue.
The status thing drives me nuts. Also because you have to have the “talk” about it…. My friend Darcie wrote a great post about it. How facebook has changed dating
Awesome post! I HATE the “It’s Complicated status”. I find the only people that use it are cougar women, who just want others to know they had a date.
I didn’t think about the Cougar approach. For some reason last week a lot of women on my friend’s list were using it and there were always like five comments back to it. It was spiraling out of control.
Haha! I have actually never witnessed the attention whoring aspect.
I changed my status to “it’s complicated” a little bit back, and you were the only one that commented.
I did, however, only change it because I was sleeping with two people at the same time. (Yeah, they knew about each other.) So, um, it’s not sympathy I wanted, but a high five.
My dude isn’t even on facebook, so there was no agenda
Um duh…. see reason number three.
Balls! I totally should have cottoned on to the fact.
Hmmmmm might be time to get creative.
I fear that response
I have the “It’s complicated” status because it’s damn complicated. I’m getting divorced, the ex lost his apartment and had to move back in. I have a BF in NY who I haven’t completely broken things off with and I just started seeing a guy who,lives up the street. Everyone knows about everyone else and ….well…it’s complicated
Did you list yourself as a swinger as well?
as complicated as hers sounds…if she listed as a swinger…it would be Un complicated…and things would be ok…
for the record…i have no facebook…………
touche
My single brother in high school once (twice) changed his status from “single” to “in a relationship” to see who would notice. It made me sad.
Did you beat him with a shoe?
no, i’m pretty much 2 hours away from where he is. i did laugh at him though, and told all of his friends.
also, someone asked me yesterday if my relationship with the guy I’m seeing was “facebook official”
You need to go find them and choke them
“I always thought he had herpes. I can just tell by the way he says pizza.†— hahaha!
You didn’t know that you can tell if someone has herpes that way?
My Facebook relationship status has been “It’s Complicated” for a year cuz it is complicated. But that’s another story for those who actually know me. My friends think it’s funny. I have seen people make a HUGE deal about relationship status and it’s annoying and so high school and why I just leave it and not change it since both Facebook and MySpace let your friends know every little move you make online.
I am just never going to change it… or maybe I will just be single forever.
What drives me crazy are the younger ones on my friends list who date someone twice, change their status to “in a relationship” and then break up and change it to single 3 days later. Rinse and repeat.
They probably hold hands at lunch as well
The solution is to not display your relationship status at all. Women get really weird about the PDA. Just turn the personal info off completely.
women… weird… stop it.
well fok, thanks for calling me out since i’m such a facebook attention-whore grabber.
lol… Now I have to stalk your status
Another thing that annoys me is news feeds. When you are single, having a crappy week, AND not getting laid do you really want to hear about so and so “cuddling on the couch with my baby,” “purchasing our first home” or “picking our new puppy from the litter” – Facebook is sending single people into depression.
Oh that makes me want to stab someone
Frankly I don’t want to know much about anyone’s relationship in real life so don’t bother posting your status. I have a relationship with people online and if they must include me in their drama I suppose that can be done by email. But people who wash their relationship laundry on Facebook or who post it on forums make me grind my teeth.
I am going to blog catalog right now to post about my last date.
Thankfuck im not sad enough to have a facebook or what ever itscalled page devoted to me, why would any sad fucker want to have a my profile page, trust me its not going to do you any favours in the long run, why not go out and make friends in the real world.
real world? what?
I think joining inane groups is worse.
I ironically became a fan of Jesus last week and all my friends lost their shit.
I guess I should have added that my relationship with him “is complicated”.
That would have cleared everything up.
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The relationship update in Facebook is stupid. The groups can be okay if you find the right ones. Personally I could give a s&^% if a friend of mine’s relationship status changed.
I could care less unless they are hot and female.
Don’t use facebook. I don’t like talking to people I don’t like.
Why do you think I work from home.
I decided to remove my status…make it not visible. And Facebook not everyone I know that I was no longer in a relationship.
That is probably the better way to go
i barely even post on facebook and even when i was in a relationship my facebook and myspace statuses both said single.
Sure they did…. sure they did
Im going to try this. Not to gain attention but to see if you’re right. Im going to change my status and see what kind of hubbub occurs.
You still suck
Oh let me know how this goes….
and I wouldn’t expect anything less in the suck deparmtent
I think we should creat a Facebook group about how we hate when people change their status.
We can call it something creative like “1,000,000 strong for people leaving their facebook status alone.”
Yeah but then I would have to invite people and that is a pain in the ass.
What’s “Facebook”?
Social network for highschoolers.
Status? What’s that?
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i like when i filled in my personal info, and entered that I was married.
i got a little update on my page (with a heart!) that said “Tiffany is now married”.
It had all the credibility of a playground wedding.
I mean i understand what your saying but I don’t think it’s that drastic. Gee. take a chill pill for God sake.
hah lol dude ur a retard
my ex friend is always calling to talk to me about all her “friends” on facebook ..lol and when she was going abroad no one gave a shit. no one did anything for her and she’s still pissed. She is also one who changes their status 2 to 3 times daily. how annoying! and childish which is 1 reason we are no longer friends..LOL
You’re right in that adults do not need to publicly announce their relationship status and every minute detail of their love life.
Here’s another thing adults don’t need to do: USE FUCKING FACEBOOK.
You’re right in that people 50 years had more dignity than they do today. They also had a greater respect for privacy. The first step is to forget MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and the whole fucking lot of them and get with a woman who is adult enough not to want to fuck around with it.
This whole blog is nothing more than personal experience on your part.
Not really it is utter brilliance
I found your post, because I am dating a man who’s status still says “In a relationship”. It also says he lives in Ohio (where the ?old? girlfriend lives), meanwhile he long ago moved back to California (which is where I live). I don’t know what’s going on between them, and believe its none of my business. He’s sleeping with me though, and his facebook, and hers, say they’re still together. That is a point of guilt for me, but I don’t want to let him go. They even still have pictures together that are posted up. When I asked him about what was going on calmly, he replied, “its complicated, there’s no chemistry between us anymore”. Also, he’s a chivalrous guy, and I can’t imagine him just blatantly cheating on her, or just using me for sex. Hard to believe, I guess. What do you think? Should I confront him about his stale status?
Jess… I am turning this into a blog tomorrow… thanks for the topic.
I love your post! You so nailed the dynamics of immature people who create relationship drama. C’mon folks – get a life out there!
OH GET A LIFE WHO FUCKING CARES.
Obviously you do if you are taking the time to comment.
This article is a nice “tip of the iceberg” view, but you didn’t touch on these two, which are about as annoying as “it’s complicated.”
1.) The 3-day relationship with no one, when someone thinks they’re dating someone else, so they change their relationship status to “in a relationship.” The other person notices the change, informs them that no, actually, they aren’t dating, and the status goes back to “single.”
2.) Being married to your best single friend. Plenty of my friends do this, and it’s not enough to make me stop being their friend, but lest there be any doubt, I judge mercilessly. Is it a self esteem issue? Do they feel the need to be in a fake relationship when they can’t be in a real one? Or is it an attempt to ironically poke fun at the fact that Facebook relationship statuses are immature? I still haven’t figured this out, but it’s very annoying.
agree with original poster, and i am female lol
I think that some people put too much emphasis on facebook relationship statuses. They should find something more productive to do with their time than to broadcast all over the internet that they’re officially “off the market.” To me, that screams, desperation for attention, loneliness, and being pathetic. Those kinds of people should find ways to increase their brain power instead of spending wasted time on the internet reminding the whole virtual world that they’re “in a relationship.”