I didn’t know God had a rooting interest?
(Traditionally I would usually post a blog today about how Clay Aiken coming out of the closest is the least newsworthy story of all time but really why bother?)
I don’t usually touch religion. Personally I don’t care what you believe as long as you keep it to yourself and don’t try and convert me or bug me with it. I keep my personal beliefs to myself (I pray to Farrah Fawcett’s extremely long nipples) and I don’t really shoot down what other’s think.
However one thing annoys the piss out of me about religion, when people cite that some event or result was God’s will. After a sporting event there is always some athlete that thanks god and says he had a hand in the result of the event? Really? You think God has rooting interest?
I think it would be great if there were a study that counted up the religion of each player on every team and every sport. Then we can compare the results of the game versus how many players of certain religions are on the team.
For example if Team A has 15 Christians and Team B has 18 but Team A wins then that means there is something else impacting the outcome of the game. (Of course skill, athletic ability, talent, and coaching don’t impact this formula because they don’t matter because God determines everything.) It could mean that Team A has a Jewish guy on the team, a Muslim, a closet homosexual, or someone that performs back alley abortions. Or possibly the reason Team A won was because they had a Mormon or Muslim or Jewish guy… wait that can’t be it.
Maybe this is just way too complex. Perhaps we could round up some bums and interview them about their religious practices and beliefs. Then throw them all in a warehouse in the industrial section of town with close circuit televisions throughout the building and let them fight to the death. Of course the guy God wants to survive will win right? Not to mention that we could make a ton of money on the pay per view and gambling on this!
Do you think I could get government funding for this study?
On 09/24/08 at 9:45 am
James said:
YOU SUCK!!!
On 09/24/08 at 9:51 am
Bobby Finstock said:
That is all you got? Come on now.
On 09/24/08 at 10:02 am
James said:
Give it some time. My harassment will sink in. Sort of like the “jackass” guy from Happy Gilmore.
On 09/24/08 at 10:17 am
Bobby Finstock said:
I thought you would be writing 3-0
On 09/24/08 at 11:06 am
James said:
Why would I be doing that? I hate the Bills. Dickface fans are already proclaiming Super Bowl.
by the way, YOU SUCK!
On 09/24/08 at 11:33 am
Tori said:
I don’t care if he does, but I will. Because the BRONCOS ARE 3-0 MOTHERFUCKERS!
(And DO NOT start about how close the last 2 games were. I was there. I practically chewed my hand off. But a win is a win is a win.)
On 09/24/08 at 11:34 am
Bobby Finstock said:
Who the hell did you blow to get a ticket?
On 09/24/08 at 11:36 am
Tori said:
The guy I’m dating has season tickets. Ha-motherfucking-ha.
On 09/24/08 at 10:55 pm
Selena said:
So are the Titans! YES!!! Maybe there will be another Music City Miracle… OWCH! :0)
On 09/24/08 at 10:03 am
Josh said:
Think about everything that Christians say god has a part of.
Religion is one fucked up joke, just look at those inbred fools from the WBC.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church
On 09/24/08 at 10:19 am
Bobby Finstock said:
I guess I won’t be getting married there.
On 09/24/08 at 10:06 am
Isha said:
Nah can’t get funding cause of “separation of church and state” lol.
I rarely ever touch religion either. Though I do understand what you’re trying to say, its up to the person to believe whether it was their God’s will that made them win or lose or whatever the heck it is. That’s just how some people are. And its not only Christians who do it. I’ve seen people from almost all types of religious sects thank their “higher being” after something good happens. Something about giving them the strength and talent or something rather…..anyways…I’m beating a dead horse here.
But if you start some bum fighting to the death, I’ll throw my money into the pool….I’m sure there’s lots of money in that..and I’ll be “thanking God” all the way to the bank.
On 09/24/08 at 10:18 am
Bobby Finstock said:
Always bet on a guy missing teeth.
On 09/24/08 at 10:12 am
Meghan said:
I just spent last night arguing Religion with someone, which pretty much makes me the idiot for continuing the argument, not them for pursuing it.
What I think about this is that picture of the bums is going to ruin my day, its gross. But I got $50 on the guy in the Camouflage coming back because I hear God Loves his troops.
On 09/24/08 at 10:18 am
Bobby Finstock said:
Yes and he wants a natural gas pipeline from Alaska to the United States.
On 09/24/08 at 10:27 am
Meghan said:
He’d be a total left wing liberal faggot if he didn’t. God is not a lib-tard.
On 09/24/08 at 12:48 pm
matty said:
Don’t forget He is a gun lover.
On 09/24/08 at 10:39 am
merri said:
I always groan every time an actor/singer/sports person/politician/etc wins or something and thanks god. god didnt do it! your money or other people or even your talent did! god doesnt care if you win that award! lol i think its actually pretty egotistical of them. and unoriginal.
On 09/24/08 at 10:46 am
Bobby Finstock said:
So God isn’t at fault for Brittney’s 3 VMA’s this year?
On 09/24/08 at 11:35 am
Tori said:
Dude, the first time I read about the bum fight videos, I was a freshman in college. I had to put the magazine down because I was physically ill. Then it turns out that my cousin is friends with that fucking douchebag who made the videos and I almost slapped her. He’s just lucky I didn’t meet him.
Now you have to go posting a picture of it and bringing all that up again? Great, now I’m going to spend the rest of my day feeling helplessly outraged. THANKS. Dick.
On 09/24/08 at 11:40 am
Bobby Finstock said:
You could go fight an office worker and film it… Call it “bitch fights”
On 09/24/08 at 12:12 pm
Tori said:
Who you callin a bitch?
On 09/24/08 at 12:44 pm
Bobby Finstock said:
Uh…..
On 09/24/08 at 12:47 pm
Tori said:
That’s what I thought.
On 09/24/08 at 12:52 pm
Bobby Finstock said:
What term would you prefer? sugarbaby?
On 09/24/08 at 1:14 pm
James said:
you gotta call her sugartits
On 09/24/08 at 4:19 pm
Tori said:
You shut your face. This is why I won’t send my 2 readers to your page.
On 09/24/08 at 11:38 am
David said:
One quick question. Do you think Pacman Jones thanks god every time he makes “it rain” or bitch slaps a stripper? Just wondering because about a week ago I saw an interview and he was thanking god for allowing him to play football.
On 09/24/08 at 11:41 am
Bobby Finstock said:
Well I mean isn’t that all part of God’s plan to smack strippers?
On 09/24/08 at 12:00 pm
Jeremy said:
All I want to see is the pope start telling all these stars and athletes that thank god to start handing over the money to the church. If god did the work god should get his cheque. And how come no one ever thanks Buddha, or Vishnu, or anyone else. Must be a crazy christian thing.
On 09/24/08 at 12:32 pm
Isha said:
not only a crazy christian thing….ive seen athletes praise allah and other deities. depends on the sport. its just a crazy religious thing.
On 09/24/08 at 12:11 pm
Karl Rove said:
Government funding is already on the way! What else would we spend $700 billion on?
On 09/24/08 at 12:45 pm
Bobby Finstock said:
Shhhhh we are a fiscally responsible country
On 09/24/08 at 10:57 pm
Selena said:
Wow! Karl Rove reads Kevin (I mean Bobby Flinstone)??? SWEET!!!
On 09/24/08 at 10:58 pm
Selena said:
Damnit! Finstock… I had Fred Flinstone on the brain… Fruity Pebbles are the best!
On 09/24/08 at 1:03 pm
Melissa said:
Hate to say it butt hey’ve already financed and completed a study somewhat related. There was a study done on the effects of prayer (knowing htat people are praying and actually praying yourself) for recovery on ill patients in hospitals. The people who were in recovery actually started to decline once they heard they were being prayed for, as if the doctors had somehow hidden the severity of their illness from them, causing healing time to almost double.
So it stands to reason that the team with the higher number of folks who are devoutly religious and let it all hang on the Big Guy/Gal (whichever faith it may be) would actually lose.
On 09/24/08 at 1:34 pm
Jonny said:
The team with the “If God is with us who can stand against us” may have a mental advantage over the less-Christian opponents. The idea of going into a contest with God on your side as compared to possibly dying with God on your side causes completely different mental outlooks which may affect performance, IMHO.
On 09/24/08 at 10:08 pm
Missygail said:
I’m sure I’m a geek for saying this….
What I hate more than the singers and athletes praising god is those that after a tragic event praise god that their lives were saved.
In a tragic event where hundred maybe thousands of lives may have been lost a few random people feel that they are special that god saved them when he couldn’t save anyone else?
Then they go on to say that god has a plan for them. He has something special in mind, though the funny thing is that you never ever see them again. I guess the special thing god had in mind was for you to be able to sit in your recliner watching the WWE every week like clock work.
God shouldn’t get the credit for dumb luck.
On 09/24/08 at 11:14 pm
JT said:
For what it means…I’m a Bengals man.
Also, stop trippin’, fools.
I make it rain.
On 09/25/08 at 10:15 am
Jeff said:
Jon Kitna is a hardcore Jesus freak, and look at the Lions.
On 09/25/08 at 3:45 pm
Preston Brooks said:
Damn, your friends really love you, don’t they. Besides, EVERYBODY knows that God loves the Eagles!
On 09/26/08 at 4:53 am
judge smails said:
the fact of the matter is that I am listening to the soundtrack of fast and the furious tokyo drift, which is fantastic, and all this banter is such a downward spiral to the fact that clay is raising child out of wed-lock and a colored man can polish a pair of golf shoes like no other…. and bobby finstock really likes marty, just let time and meditation heal all…. and it is true that all the chicks that go to the IB are hookers, MY micro wave did kill the radio star…. fix my poll fag
On 09/26/08 at 5:02 am
judge smails said:
what I really meant to say, now that is is somewhat of a religious commentary, is that: “Why would the good lord take away the greatest round of my life!!!” I have to comment on this because I feel that the greatest movies that influenced your life is spot on, I disagree with the bullshit replies that you get…. get it together ….. blog artists should stick to myspace, where most of you belong…. hip hop is dead “NAS”