My Brief Moment of Greatness
While I wouldn’t call myself a genius by any stretch of the imagination, I do on occasion experience a spark of greatness that puts me on par with such brilliant minds as Kant, Socrates, and Shemp Howard. Such a moment occurred today.
My wife and I were at Babies R Us for what felt like the 10th time this week. I was pushing Baby Donk around in the cart while she wandered around aimlessly, spending hundreds of dollars on important items like Monkey Halloween costumes and a fuzzy hat with ears on it. Just as I was about to doze off, I saw her throw some baby lotion into the cart.
My eyes perked up immediately as inspiration washed over me. I licked my lips with anticipation as she walked off to find something else. As she came back towards me, I asked nonchalantly:
“Hey, where did you put the lotion?”
“I put it in the basket.”
Mrs. Donk realized only too late that she had fallen into my trap, and, rolling her eyes, meandered off to buy Butt Paste or some such nonsense. But no matter: sweet victory was mine. Next, I plan on getting her to say “I’d fuck me” while dancing in the nude to creepy music. I just need to figure out how…
But she has to tuck it when she dances
You mean like Ann(drew) Coulter?
Yep, you have definitely seen my wife’s clitoris
good for you!!! $30 baby lotion is the exact same as the $2 stuff they sell at walmart… go you!!
To this day the word ‘precious’ is both a) a word I always forget how to spell; and b) name of a really fucking creepy man’s dog.
My dogs name is Precious. I also go through a lot of lotion. All I need now are some rare bugs and some homosexual tendencies and hell, I am Buffalo Bill.
And I even asked you to tuck your junk yesterday to get the blood flowing to the rest of your muscles…it’s all coming together
AND you need to sew coats out of chunky women
C) the ring that Golem lusts after
Goodbye Horses is the perfect song for a romantic evening with the wife.
Donkeysosa, get her drunk and play “Goodbye Horses” Then just dare her.
Best of luck.