My Brief Moment of Greatness
While I wouldn’t call myself a genius by any stretch of the imagination, I do on occasion experience a spark of greatness that puts me on par with such brilliant minds as Kant, Socrates, and Shemp Howard. Such a moment occurred today.
My wife and I were at Babies R Us for what felt like the 10th time this week. I was pushing Baby Donk around in the cart while she wandered around aimlessly, spending hundreds of dollars on important items like Monkey Halloween costumes and a fuzzy hat with ears on it. Just as I was about to doze off, I saw her throw some baby lotion into the cart.
My eyes perked up immediately as inspiration washed over me. I licked my lips with anticipation as she walked off to find something else. As she came back towards me, I asked nonchalantly:
“Hey, where did you put the lotion?”
“I put it in the basket.”
Mrs. Donk realized only too late that she had fallen into my trap, and, rolling her eyes, meandered off to buy Butt Paste or some such nonsense. But no matter: sweet victory was mine. Next, I plan on getting her to say “I’d fuck me” while dancing in the nude to creepy music. I just need to figure out how…
On 09/16/08 at 7:59 am
Bobby Finstock said:
But she has to tuck it when she dances
On 09/16/08 at 10:52 am
conundrum said:
You mean like Ann(drew) Coulter?
On 09/17/08 at 12:03 am
donkeysosa said:
Yep, you have definitely seen my wife’s clitoris
On 09/16/08 at 8:22 am
supernik said:
good for you!!! $30 baby lotion is the exact same as the $2 stuff they sell at walmart… go you!!
On 09/16/08 at 9:14 am
Meghan said:
To this day the word ‘precious’ is both a) a word I always forget how to spell; and b) name of a really fucking creepy man’s dog.
On 09/16/08 at 10:24 am
matty said:
My dogs name is Precious. I also go through a lot of lotion. All I need now are some rare bugs and some homosexual tendencies and hell, I am Buffalo Bill.
On 09/16/08 at 4:05 pm
Meghan said:
And I even asked you to tuck your junk yesterday to get the blood flowing to the rest of your muscles…it’s all coming together
On 09/17/08 at 12:05 am
donkeysosa said:
AND you need to sew coats out of chunky women
On 09/17/08 at 12:04 am
donkeysosa said:
C) the ring that Golem lusts after
On 09/17/08 at 7:10 pm
Karl Rove said:
Goodbye Horses is the perfect song for a romantic evening with the wife.
On 09/19/08 at 2:57 am
Oscar said:
Donkeysosa, get her drunk and play “Goodbye Horses” Then just dare her.
Best of luck.