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I Think My Microwave is Trying to Kill Me

By: Bobby Finstock on 09/15/08 @ 8:00 am

A couple of weeks back I was in my office doing work. (When I say office I mean the bedroom that had nothing in it so I threw my desk in there and called it an office.) While doing work my microwave started beeping. I got out of my chair to check it out. On the screen it was flashing 66:66 and it wouldn’t let me stop the sound so I had to unplug it. Ever since then the same thing would happen every so often when I plugged it back in. Sometimes it would stop and then go off hours later, usually it would happen when I was sleeping so it would wake me up and make me go out and unplug it.

Now if it was 6:66 I would be worried that I had an appliance that was possessed by the devil. At that point I would have to promptly move out of my apartment. Whenever the number of the beast shows up you know that your place or residence was probably built on an Indian burial ground or potentially on a gateway to hell. Either way I wouldn’t have stuck around to find out.

Since it didn’t say 6.66 I figured it was just an error and since I didn’t have the instructions anymore I wondered if it was potentially telling me that there was a major problem with the unit. Now this microwave was a really cheap model that I bought at Target when I moved to Buffalo. It is probably time that I upgrade to something that doesn’t struggle to reheat chicken but that would require me to go shopping and actually think about what model I want.

So now I feel like I am rolling the dice every time I use it. I worry that my need for microwave popcorn could end up with a massive explosion in the kitchen. In fact I debated if I should put on my bike helmet to retrieve said bag of popcorn.

Maybe I should go microwave shopping today.

Have you ever had a killer appliance?

Note: My friend launched a new site today centered around the election with an Obama “Yes We Can Shirt”… the design of the shirt is pretty cool… Check it out here http://www.yeswecanshirt.com/

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

29 Responses to “I Think My Microwave is Trying to Kill Me”

  1. Marty says:

    When it starts beeping with the 6s AFTER you’ve unplugged it then you know you’ve got problems.

  2. Carolyn says:

    Definitely wear the bike helmet. Then take pictures. There’s something intrinsically funny about people walking around in bike helmets.
    A couple of weeks ago an old couple came into the pub I work at for lunch, and didn’t take their helmets or sunglasses off for the entire meal.
    With the amount of head injuries I’ve had, my buddy and I used to wear helmets for fun. People give you very strange looks when you’re driving a car wearing a helmet. Especially when you wave to them with your best impression of a mentally handicapped person.
    I’m going to hell.

    • Well was there any doubt about that?

      I always was anti bike helmet until I started riding around here and felt like I was risking my life every time I got on a bike.

  3. Carolyn says:

    Um, no killer appliances though

  4. Charlotte says:

    Weird, my computer clock switches to 66:66 everytime I open PointlessBanter.

  5. Newt says:

    My window air conditioner periodically shoots ice at me. I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to do that.

  6. jamie says:

    We (me and some roomates) had this same problem-microwave in Philly. It was an old house, so I just thought it was the wiring in the socket, and we’d unplug the microwave everytime we’d use it.

    It was a pain in the ass after a while, but it’s not like it exploded or anything. I just feel sorry for the poor sucker who gets it next, since we’ve moved.

  7. Em Em says:

    If you actually gave a crap, you could look up the manual on the internet. I’ve found countless manuals for random household appliances online- but only to find that I still can’t make my phone speak English instead of Spanish, oh well. At least it’s not beeping numbers at me.

  8. Augusto says:

    I suggest that you like the bike helmet with aluminum foil so the radiation doesn’t fry your brain when the microwave explodes.

  9. Melissa says:

    I had an over that decided to spontaneously combust once, followed by an electric coffee pot and a toaster oven. Ever since, I’ve decided to put all the appliances on breaker strips and turn them off before leaving the house – except for the ‘frige and deep freeze. Knock on wood they’ve never had a meltdown.

  10. E says:

    Mine flashes 66:66 after the power has gone out and come back on, or if there’s been a surge. My guess is that you have a perfectly good microwave and a bad outlet, or a bad cord connection in your microwave. No idea, though. Usually you don’t have to unplug them when they do that, just set the clock.

  11. JT says:

    I once owned a TV that shot sparks out of the bottom periodically, usually during Everybody Loves Raymond.

    My now ex-wife made me get rid of it, but I thought it was a great conversation piece.

  12. matty says:

    My vacuum cleaner and I don’t get along well at all. we had a falling out over a Crunchy Cheeto.

  13. Meghan says:

    My microwave cord was frayed and started a kitchen fire because it was next to the paper towels. Thats what I get for stealing it from Michigan State when moved to Boston.

  14. Kim says:

    BTW…checked out the Obama shirt…move the box over his top lip…it says “women whore ached”. I KNOW I’m supposed to read Women who reached…but SERIOUSLY…looks like women whore ached…it actually made me WANT to buy the shirt…but may put other people off…just saying

  15. Jeff says:

    My blender raped me.

  16. Alison says:

    Seeing as your microwave is screwed, maybe it was trying to flash 666 but couldnt get it quite right. I’d move anyway, just to be safe. Call the show ‘A Haunting’ ASAP. And definitely wear that bike helmet…at all times.

  17. Michelle says:

    I used to have a toaster that would zap you every time you tried to push down the lever to make toast. Finally it ended up in the garbage can.I think it learned it’s lesson

  18. Wynn says:

    I got my fingers microwaved once. I think it’s personal. No one believed me because microwaves usually stop the heating when you open the door, but that time it didn’t. When I felt a sharp weird pain after a second or two I withdrew my hand quickly and I’m sure I’ll get the consequenses of this later on in life.

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