This post over at Eve-101 reminded me of a story that I don’t think I have ever written about. When I was little my mother used a leash on me when we went to large public places. I had a tendency to wander off and also I had no fear of strangers, which I guess is a bad combination. (How I didn’t end up in a van with a guy offering me free candy is beyond me.)
When we were out in California one year visiting my Uncle in California we went to Disneyland. My Mom and Aunt had to use the restroom so they left me in charge with my Uncle.
Now my Uncle has a reputation for pulling stunts on my mom. Long before there was Punk’d there was my family. One time when my mom went to visit my Uncle he had his friend Spike (a former NFL Defensive Lineman) dress up as a monk in a giant hooded robe. When my mom arrived at the airport and got off the plane Spike followed directly behind her with his face covered mumbling weird chants. It was kind of freaking my mother out but she just kept walking. He kept getting closer to her before he got right up behind her. My mom was panicking at his point and wondering what to do. Spike kept the odd chant going and then threw in, “Ummmm… (my mom’s name) is here in California to get laid.”
Of course it took my mom a second. She wondered why the monk knew her name and why he was saying inappropriate things.
Anyway… Back to the story. So with my mom and my aunt in the bathroom I was left in my uncle’s care. I was on the leash and he decided to take this opportunity to have me do dog tricks. Sit up, beg, roll over, speak…
Being the attention whore that I am I lapped it up. I was doing everything on command and was even building a little crowd. Well the little crowd turned into a larger crowd and people were clapping and laughing.
When my mom exited the bathroom she noticed a massive crowd around the bench where my uncle and I had been sitting. This scared the ever-living shit out of her, she wondered if something had happened to me. If I had fallen, gotten injured, or choked on whatever treat I was eating. She fought through the thick crowd only to find me doing tricks and people applauding.
Needless to say the leash was shortly retired after that.
Did your parents use a leash on you or do you use a leash on your kids?