The Dangers of Being a Coupon Amateur
For some reason, ever since we had our first child 8 months ago Mrs. Donk has become a devotee to coupons. She clips em like crazy and stacks em all over the place.
And hey that’s great, in theory I’m in total support with her new-found passion. Problem is, she wants to use the damn things even if we don’t need any more of the product! Example: last week I found myself BEGGING her not to use the coupon she had for shaving gel.
Me: “My dear, I all ready have 2 cans of the stuff. It will last me for a long time.”
Her: “But this coupon expires next week.”
Me: “I don’t need a three year supply of shaving gel.”
Her: “But it expires.”
Me: “Are you mentally handicapped?”
She seems unable to understand two important concepts about coupons: 1) At some point they are COSTING you money, not saving it, and 2) There will be other coupons. These aren’t the last ones ever to be printed.
She’s a coupon amateur in other ways as well. For example, she brings the coupons, forgets to pick up the items, yet hands the coupons to the cashier anyway. A couple of weeks ago we were checking out. I was getting ready to pay when I noticed that the check-out guy, an attractive 20-something year old guy, was studying one of our coupons and searching through our purchases on the check-out screen.
Me: “What’s up?”
Him (quietly): “Um, did you get two of these?”
Me: “Two of what?”
Him (glancing around nervously): “These.”
At which point he handed me a coupon that stated Maxipads: 2 for the price of 1. Not knowing what else to do, I handed the coupon to Mrs. Donk and asked her if she’d gotten two. Her face turned beet red as she was forced to tell the hot cashier that no, she had indeed only picked up ONE package of maxipads.
I kinda felt bad for her…so I waited until we got outside of the store to point and laugh at her.
my personnal favorite... 
On 09/5/08 at 9:56 am
sarah said:
aw. really endearing though– admit it!
On 09/5/08 at 10:05 am
donkeysosa said:
Sure, I’d bang er
On 09/5/08 at 10:14 am
Augusto said:
Coupons easily become an obsession. I prefer to use them on double-coupons day. The stuff if practically free! Woo Hoo
On 09/5/08 at 11:40 am
Arjewtino said:
I can relate to you on this one, Donk. My girlfriend’s insanity when it comes to coupons is well-documented.
The worst thing I can do in our relationship is throw away the coupon insert from the Sunday paper before she’s had a chance to go through it.
On 09/5/08 at 1:06 pm
matty said:
I hate coupon whores with a passion usually reserved for rapists and child porn freaks. Well, maybe not that much.
On 09/6/08 at 3:35 pm
donkeysosa said:
Are you saying you hate my wife?
On 09/5/08 at 1:18 pm
Island Princess said:
At least she is kind about using her coupons, you wouldn’t think it, but there are people out there who are complete Coupon Nazis and will cut you if you don’t remember to give them their discount. =P
On 09/6/08 at 3:37 pm
donkeysosa said:
And rightly so.
On 09/5/08 at 3:09 pm
Meghan said:
“Are you mentally handi-capped” just replaced my usual “Are you on meds?” in my bag asshole comebacks.
On 09/6/08 at 3:37 pm
donkeysosa said:
Who says you can’t learn anything on this site?
On 09/6/08 at 12:13 am
marcie said:
the only coupons i use are the 1.50 off huggies or pampers diapers or wipes anything else…i spare the cashier and the people behind me the time and insanity of being stuck behind a coupon whore lol
On 09/6/08 at 3:38 pm
donkeysosa said:
Yeah I’d say 75% of the coupons she uses are for baby stuff, and it does save us some money
On 09/6/08 at 1:02 pm
lessa said:
tell her about the grocery game. its like crack for mommies. i feel like i have stolen most of my groceries when i walk out of the store. it is Soooooooo worth it. i just checked my last receipt………total: 67.84 savings: 44.28
On 09/6/08 at 3:39 pm
donkeysosa said:
Um, remind me NOT to tell her about that. She kooky enough as it is!
On 09/7/08 at 1:01 am
Karl Rove said:
I admit it. I can be a coupon addict. If I see a coupon for a product that I might even remotely need, I clip it and try to use it. Sometimes I realize that I’m just wasting money, but other times the temptation is just too much. It’s mostly on things like books (Borders coupons in my e-mail) or snacks.