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Is that his daughter or his girlfriend?

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/27/08 @ 9:51 pm

Nothing creeps me out more than being in a public place and determining if a girl hanging all over a guy is his daughter or girlfriend. I was at the DMV today, which is inside the ghetto mall near where I live. And by ghetto mall I am referring to a place that has a Pay Less Shoes, a Hometown Buffet, and some odd place that sells knock off bags. In the waiting area were a guy with grey hair and a barely legal girl sitting behind him on the bench with her legs spread around him. She kept touching his shoulder, they never kissed but it was an odd relationship to say the least.

There are so many things wrong with that situation. Parts of you want to hi-five him and give him a pat on the back… Perhaps even a thumbs up. Letting him know that he has accomplished something, pulling poon way above what should have been his reach. Or technically I guess it is below his reach. I’m not sure.
The other half of you is really grossed out thinking that they have a slightly inappropriate and way too touchy feely relationship no matter if they are dating or related. I do have to say the best part about it was that an African American guy in his mid twenties was looking over at them and then we made eye contact, we both gave a shoulder shrug and shook our heads. Proving that people confused by inappropriate relationship cross a color boundary. I feel like we shared a moment.

One year in bar league softball one of our teammates “Touch”, short for a really long Guido last name, brought a girl to one of our games. This girl was in 8th grade when I was a senior in high school. She was the type of girl you knew was going to be smoking hot when she got older. It turns out we were right.
I was telling my friend on the team that I remembered that girl from high school and knew she was going to be really hot. She was blonde, big doe blue eyes, and had an air of sexuality about her. During the game I kept talking shit to my friend that I was going to go over and talk to her but with Touch being on our team and her being his daughter I had to be careful.

Finally after the game we all sat around drinking, she didn’t partake because she wasn’t of drinking age. I walked over to her and sat down, she remembered me from high school and we began to talk a bit. I told her that she should come out after the game and I could get her into the bar. She said that would be cool and really started getting into the conversation. Then I said, “Yeah I mean your dad can even come out too… I know he has been to the bar a few times.”

Her eyes gazed over slightly and she had this look of confusion on her face. Then it hit her and she replied.

“My dad? I don’t talk to my dad. You mean Rick? He’s my boyfriend.”

Mix in an upbringing in a trailer park and a major case of daddy didn’t love her and you have an 18 year old dating a 39 year old.

So here is to the totally inappropriate confusing relationship. I haven’t been able to figure you out for ten years now.

Are the creepy? Are they funny? And have you ever been around one?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

9 Responses to “Is that his daughter or his girlfriend?”

  1. Meghan says:

    It’s creepy…it’s gross…it’s a shitty Mall.

    When Daddies are taking their daughters to go get their belly pierced next to an Old Country Buffet and a Bootleg Bag Shop…I draw the line!

  2. Meghan says:

    And this post needs a DIGG button.

  3. Jeff says:

    When did it become “Booby”?

  4. Taylor Blue says:

    It is gross…and it makes me wanna puke… :)

  5. Shelby says:

    39 is much too old in my opinion;
    but what’s a general rule you can make for the greatest amount of age difference when dating someone?

    Obviously I’m not talking about under 18′ers.

    • Random Troll says:

      Easy, standard rule is half the age plus 7 – so a 39 year old would be a minimum of 27 (assuming you round up).

  6. Guzzo says:

    Made a similar mistake myself once when I was about 22 yrs old. A girl around my age came into the lumberyard and I loaded up her van with wood (no pun intended). Later on in the day, the same van came back for another load, except this time with an older gentleman driving it.

    Stupid me.. when he stepped out of the van I approached him and said “oh yeah, I just helped your daughter earlier today”. Of course, the guy got really mad at me and yelled back that she was his girlfriend.

    I learned my lesson that day about speaking without thinking first. But, then again, after that I did go ahead and ask a fat girl when her baby was due.. when she wasn’t pregnant.

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