As Long as They’re Thinking of Changing the Legal Drinking Age…
As many of you may have read, a group of college president’s are urging that the government change the legal drinking age from 21 to 18 in an effort to thwart binge drinking on campuses…no need to clean your glasses there sport, you read that right: they want to lower the drinking age in order to STOP binge drinking. Sounds a little iffy to Donk, but hey, what the shit, as long as we’re throwing ideas around, how’s about making some other changes:
Lower the Driver’s License age to 12 - Look, kids are gonna be kids. They’re all going to be joyriding with their friends by the age of 11 anyway. Why not legalize it so that we can teach them the skills that they need? Added bonus: the girls aren’t menstruating yet, ensuring rational driving skills all month long! And besides folks, if they gave driver’s licenses to Britney Spears and Nicole Ritchie, why NOT give them to 12 year olds?
“Oh my God, y’all, I think I just hit that hobo.”
Lower the legal voting age to 16 - Um, take a look at the last 8 years and ask yourself: could they really do worse?
Lower the age of consent to 11 Nationwide - Just think about it, not only would marriage rates SOAR all across the South and in parts of Utah but (warning, obscure literary reference ahead) Humbert Humbert’s besmirched name would be cleared at long last!. Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator sure would be fucked though. That show’s ratings gold!
Anyone else got any good ideas?
On 08/20/08 at 7:38 am
Marty said:
Um… make it legal for monkeys to smoke cigarettes, since they’re already doing it on TV cartoons anyway?
On 08/20/08 at 11:14 am
Ed said:
your a dick
On 08/20/08 at 7:47 pm
Marty said:
Wow Ed, aren’t you a big man, anonymously attacking some dude’s flippant comment on a comedy blog.
On 08/25/08 at 4:32 am
tiffany p. said:
wtf ed!?!
that was uncalled for.
and if you’re going to insult someone, at LEAST get the grammar correct.
On 08/26/08 at 9:57 pm
Selly said:
Ed-
I believe you meant to say “You’re a dick”. What you said, “Your a dick”, means a dick belonging to you. You’re= you are, your= belonging to you. If you are going to be insulting, do it without grammatical error!
On 08/20/08 at 9:22 am
Alexis said:
Is Lolita really THAT obscure?
Oh wait…I’m old. Nevermind.
On 08/20/08 at 10:02 am
donkeysosa said:
Oh you’d be surprised, you’d be surprised
On 09/12/08 at 2:29 am
serah said:
i know who humbert humbert is and i’m not old ((i’m 18)).
On 08/20/08 at 10:07 am
matty said:
Lindsay Lohan has a driver’s license too. She has to be worse than the other two by far.
I guess that means “I agree with you Donk”.
On 08/20/08 at 11:22 pm
donkeysosa said:
“I agree with you Donk†is going to be my campaign slogan when i run for president
On 08/20/08 at 10:24 am
Taylor Blue said:
Well, where I live you can drink at 18…so, I guess you should just move to Canada.
On 08/20/08 at 11:23 pm
donkeysosa said:
no thanks…too many Canadians
On 08/20/08 at 10:54 am
cockoo said:
Pretty much all Europe also sdrinks ages 18 and up.
But, as i gather, you consider USA the whole world so my point may as well be invalid.
On 08/20/08 at 11:11 am
Bobby Finstock said:
Um… well considering the author wrote the changes needed to be made “nationwide” I think the focus was on the US. I don’t know where you got the whole world thing.
On 08/20/08 at 11:24 pm
donkeysosa said:
oh no he’s right, i consider the USA to be the whole world
On 08/20/08 at 11:27 am
Katie said:
Let’s take over Mexico too, while we’re all making upsurd suggestions!
On 08/25/08 at 4:34 am
tiffany p. said:
what the hell is “upsurd”???
is it the opposite of “downsurd”??
On 08/20/08 at 11:58 am
vadella said:
Actually girls are having their monthly at that age. haha Better rethink that one.
On 08/20/08 at 11:25 pm
donkeysosa said:
we just won’t let them drive at all then
On 08/20/08 at 12:47 pm
moooooog35 said:
Wait.
The age of consent is NOT 11?!?!?
That explains this prison.
On 08/20/08 at 11:26 pm
donkeysosa said:
that’s pretty cool that they let you on the internets in lockdown
On 08/20/08 at 1:08 pm
LA said:
Legalize pot. The best argument… think of all the tax revenue!! Oh, and of course the improve quality
No more dime bags of oregano. Woo hoo
On 08/20/08 at 10:52 pm
yessir said:
what, i’m not the only one that does that, i feel normal =]
On 08/20/08 at 1:14 pm
E said:
I love a blog with a good Humbert Humbert reference.
On 08/20/08 at 11:27 pm
donkeysosa said:
then you’ve come to the right place my friend. i make them regularly
On 08/20/08 at 2:20 pm
Karl Rove said:
The voting age in Cuba is 16 and in North Korea it’s 17. Iran’s voting age was 15 (they recently changed it to 18). If they can do it, why can’t the US? Like you said, it couldn’t get much worse.
And have you ever read an Annotated copy of Lolita? The endnotes were longer than the story in the version I read.
On 08/20/08 at 11:28 pm
donkeysosa said:
The thing about Lolita is that it is beautifully written, but I’ll be damned if I can find a point to it.
On 08/21/08 at 12:42 am
Karl Rove said:
Yeah. To tell you the truth, I didn’t care for it much. I realize why it’s considered a classic novel, but I just wasn’t sympathetic to any of the characters, which made me hate reading about them.
On 08/20/08 at 9:13 pm
McFortner said:
Wow, donkeysosa, whoever told you that you were funny lied.
On 08/20/08 at 11:30 pm
donkeysosa said:
thank you for those kind words. you sound like a very good person.
On 08/21/08 at 11:32 am
Marty said:
Quite a bit of hating today on what’s usually a harmonious webpage, I wonder what the deal is.
On 08/25/08 at 4:35 am
tiffany p. said:
yeah, what the hell is goin’ on??
On 08/23/08 at 4:25 pm
Marcie said:
Glad to have ya back around Donk…great post
On 08/24/08 at 3:54 am
Dillon said:
The word “hobo” always makes me laugh. Making a reference to Britney Spears and horrible driving in the same sentence as a hobo is priceless.
The drinking age should be lowered to 18 for the simple reason that kids can join the army at 18. If you’re considered able to have some jackass tell you how to fold your clothes without punching him in the face, you should be considered able to drink.
On 08/25/08 at 4:38 am
tiffany p. said:
i agree with Dillon.
if you’re old enough to die for your country, and old enough to be considered responsible enough to choose who runs the local and national government, then you should be able to get some damn beer.
and i DO think it would stop the binge drinking. (a little)
kids only drink 15 beers in a sitting because they know that they have to shove it all in their system before the party’s over.
if they knew that they could have it any time they wanted, it would take a little bit of the taboo away.