What Female Athletes Have the Most Casual Moral Attitudes?

Last night I was watching the Olympics and two things came across my mind.

1) Synchronized diving is really fucking stupid.
2) Misty May of the women’s beach volleyball team has a tramp stamp.

W. is a fan

In the past I have covered which sports are quickest to turn your daughter into a complete lesbian. Now I want to comb through my experiences and breakdown which female sport produces girls with the most casual moral attitude. (aka the most likely to get hammered and sleep with me)

For years I always had a thing for female athletes. I have “dated” dancers, cheerleaders, former gymnasts, volleyball players, and basketball players. Over this period of time I have cobbled together these keen observations.

Note: Cheerleaders are obviously absent from this list because cheerleading has never been and will never be a sport. Same with auto-racing, I am only talking about athletes here.

5) Failed gymnasts- There is a group of women out there that ended up actually getting their period and developing breasts while competing in gymnastics. This physical development ruined their chances of competing at the highest level of the sport. However when they reach college and young adulthood they want to show off their flexibility still.

4) Softball players- Just kidding, they hate men. Unless they are middle infielders, for some reason the shortstop and second baseman always get around. Plus what is the deal with their thighs? Softball players are built like mini-inside linebackers. Except Jennie Finch…

If I were twenty years younger

3) Swimmers/Divers- Girls that hang around the pool are partiers. I think this is because most of them are from or end up going to school in Southern California or Arizona. These are the girls that end up posing in Playboy or in calendars and are always fun to drink with. Right Amanda Beard?

2) Soccer players- I can’t explain this but girls that play soccer are absolutely wild. I always thought that they would tend to lean towards the way of softball and basketball players, hating men and loving each other. They are nothing like that. Could this be the European influence here on the world’s greatest game? Maybe they just loosen up because it is soccer and nobody really care about the sport in America. So they can get away with more things and fly below the radar versus basketball players or other popular women’s sports. Or perhaps they need to be hammered and crazy in order to generate any interest in them or team on most college campuses?

the spanish soccer team

1) Volleyball players- Volleyball players are always really ripped for some reason and they love to show off their bodies. I have dated three volleyball players including the infamous bed wetter. These girls were always the hardest drinking girls. I think maybe because volleyball requires the least amount of cardio work, so they can go to practice hung-over and not die.

they called Clinton a poon hound?

Now I probably should address which male atheletes have the most casual moral attitudes. The answer is all. Except for wrestlers because well wrestling is um…

How would you rank the sports? Are you watching the Olympics?