If I Ever Became a Female Stripper…
A few weeks ago when I was home in Western, NY my friends and I ended up at a crappy strip club. While we were there I got into a conversation with a stripper about their music selection. She usually leaned towards late seventies/early eighties rock music, stating that it was her favorite type of music and most girl played a lot of hip hop so she wanted to be different.
We got into a discussion about the impact of music and how her three-song set was structured. She said that she likes to build with the three songs, making the third the most upbeat or loudest. It got me thinking if I were to become a stripper what would my three-song set be?
Aren't all strippers zombies?
I decided that I don’t think I could dance to hip-hop when so many other girls did. So I crossed all the hip-hop off of my list. While the”Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue and “Paradise City” by Guns N Roses are strip club staples and reliable, I wanted to change my stuff up a bit.
Note: “A Lap Dance is So Much Better When a Stripper is Crying” by the Bloodhound Gang didn’t make the cut but was given serious consideration.
Also I didn’t take rhythm into account for any of this. I am convinced strippers can dance to any song. When you are taking off your clothes you could be playing a Harry Kissenger speech in the background and guys will still be totally attentive.
So here is my three-song set if I ever became a stripper.
“My Doorbell”- By The White Stripes
“I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin’ about my doorbell”
By my doorbell I mean “lapdance”. And ring it I mean “give me twenty dollars”. Also I want to be the first person ever to play a song in a strip club with the word “obtuse” in it.
strippers are evil
“Add it Up”- by the Violent Femmes
“Why cant I get just one kiss
Why cant I get just one kiss
Believe me there’d be something’s that I wouldn’t miss
But I look at your pants and I need I need a kiss
Why cant I get just one screw
Why cant I get just one screw”
I think this song contains every single song a guy asks in a strip club. Well except for the “will you grind your stilettos into my junk?”
The commute to work just got better
Darling Nikki- (Originally by Prince) covered by the Foo Fighters
“I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
masturbating with a magazine
she said how’d u like 2 waste sometime
& I could not resist when I saw little
Nikki grind”
I have never heard either version of this song played at a strip club before. (Not that I go weekly or anything and the fact that I am not sober while there also might impact what I hear.) I just think this song should be the ultimate strip club rock song…
If for some reason I was a hot female I would be dangerous and rich. I wonder if I could start a school for strippers?
(Note: I copied and pasted the lyrics from a lyrics site. You have to love how horrible the last copy is.)
What would your stripper songs be?
Although, I wouldn’t necessarily dance a set to this, I like to start off slow and burlesque-like with Sil Austin’s Slow Walk. Then, move it into a pole dance routine for two songs: Alannah Myles’ Black Velvet and The White Stripes’ Seven Army Nation.
Two white stripes plugs in one day… I am sure they would be proud of this website.
Although I wouldn’t make it MY first choice, ‘Crazy Bitch’ by Buck Cherry has always seemed like a Strip Club Anthem.
“HEY! You’re a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I’m on top of it.
When I dream, I’m doin’ you all night.
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on!”
And it has another line that says,
“Another one night paid in full”.
The entire song is a vision of one dollar bills.
I am still in shock they are still around.
They have ANOTHER album coming out. So does Ben Folds…guess which one I am going to buy.
well you have taste because you read my blog… so it has to be Ben Folds
I had an angry professor tell me ‘Meghan, your crafty prudence will get the best of you!’ If only I could go back and tell him I have ‘TASTE’.
I think you should have gone with a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying. I mean with lyris lie the ones below how can you not.
So, Bambi’s goin’ on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, “Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus’s tummy-tum?”
I am actually saving it for my wedding song
First, a tease: “Touch My Body” Mariah Carey
Then, for clarity: “Don’t Touch Me” Brak (from Space Ghost)
Lastly: “She Left Me with the Herpes” Tiny Tim; in case they still have any ideas.
I suppose this whole set could be avoided by not using “Touch My Body” but it’s just such a good stripper song.
You would make a terrible stripper.
Funny, but terrible.
Is there any doubt that mine would be “Tip Toe Through The Tulips”?
Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard
The Stroke – Billy Squier
So many different Britney songs to choose from for the finale…
Ha! My ex-gf used to dance to “The Lapdance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying” when she knew one of the girls she hated was out working the VIP room. The song goes on forEVer and the girls would bitch her out because they were having to grind on some guy while the singer went on about how sexy missing children were. Yeah, strippers ARE evil.
I have to think about my three-song set and get back to you on that.
OK, here are three that might work in progression:
Amy Winehouse “You Know I’m No Good”
The Beastie Boys “Root Down”
Cake “Short Skirt/Long Jacket”
I’m sure I can think up a better set with longer to think about it.
I have never commented before, but I spent many drunk nights in booby bars thinking what my songs would be. This is my short list in no order.
Scum of the Earth by Rob Zombie
Faith by George Michael
Kiss by Prince
Sexbomb by Tom Jones
Stinkfist by Tool
Beat It by Michael Jackson
Faggot by MSI
I Need a Freak by Too Short
You Can Leave Your Hat On by Joe Cocker
Ok I could on and on and that’s just rude, sorry.
You should comment more often… Stinkfist
I would go with a three-song Frank Sinatra set, just to fuck with people.
“BILINGUAL”
BY: JOSE NUNEZ
If I were to change genders and become a female stripper, my song would be the 1812 Overture. At the end, they use cannons, and so would I.
That was the comment of the day
The Foo Fighters’ cover of “Darling Nikki” is a brilliant choice. Off the top of my head, here are a couple of my picks:
N.E.R.D. – “She Wants To Move”
Kid Rock – “Cowboy”
Rob Zombie – “Living Dead Girl”
Honorable mentions might be Marilyn Manson’s cover of “Tainted Love”, Elvis Costello’s “I Want You”, Chaka Khan’s cover of Jimi Hendrix’s “Little Wing”…come to think of it, I’d probably be a pretty creepy stripper.
Interesting…But in New Orleans where I’m from….They seem to only dance to two songs. Which is actually a good thing if you ask me, because if they fucking suck I’m glad they got the fuck outta there. And if they left too soon…It doesn’t matter because they come find me anyway
Hmmm.
Everlong–Foo Fighters.
I’d dance that one song, and vanish mysteriously….
Into a vip booth.
First song: Fever by Peggy Lee
Second song: Sex Action by L.A. Guns
Third set: Heaven’s on Fire by Kiss
ZZ Top ALWAYS is a great choice for droppin’ the laundry. TREMENDOUS hard driving drums, skrunchin guitars and lyrics about fukked up stuff.
Of course, I’d watch a girl strip to Happy Birthday, so who cares about the music.
xoxoxo (Love the comment about “will you grind your stilettos into my junk.” Really LOL’ed on that one.)
i am a stripper and you guys are dumb.
Aerosmith – Falling In Love (is hard on the knees)
Hey!!I actually own a strip bar in Tenerife (Babewatch) Come and see us if your in the neighbour hood!! LoL…
The girls ALL love Jordin Sparxx – Freeze! at the mo… Also Cherish – Killa…
I think Dirty Diana Is a choooon to dance to!!
xx
DEFINITELY “Dirty Little Girl” by New Life Crisis. LOVE it.
http://www.myspace.com/paulmahosnewlifecrisis
Are you kidding!?!?! That song was about as fun and upbeat as watching old people fuck.
i write a blog about underground strip club music give
my personnal favorite
massive attack – angel
portihead – road
Compulsory Skin – Twisted
Da Hool – Wir Sind Sexy
First State featuring Anita Kelsey – Falling
and many others:)
http://www.strippersmusic.com/
I am a stripper, I only get two songs per set.
First set: Deftones- “change” Tool- “sober”.
Second: Foo Fighters- “everlong” Deftones- “no ordinary love”
Third: Marilyn Manson- “tainted love” and “the fight song”
Final: ( just to mix things up ) Lil John- “get low” TI- “whatever you like”
I’m a very dysfunctional stripper. The only one at my bar, so some nights I make zero money, other nights I make more than any of the others.
i just recently got wasted at a stip bar and obviously found it naked to make an ass of myself. but i decided pink by aerosmith is the best song. it has a uppy beat and sexy lyrics
I’m doing a lap dance for my fiance on his birthday. The two I’ve managed to pick out so far are:
Beyonce- Naughty Girl
Britney Spears- Breathe On Me
Can’t figure out what I want for a third song though…
I’m doing a schoolgirl theme so Closer is out, and if it’s last it has to keep the energy from Breathe On Me, but if it’s first it needs to transition smoothly into Naughty Girl…
Or maybe I’m just over-thinking it because I’m bipolar with that whole OCD tendencies thing…
Okay, so I found my third song ^^ The whole routine in order is:
Naughty Girl- Beyonce
Breathe On Me- Britney Spears
Hot in Herre- Nelly
Figure I’ll tease in Naughty Girl, get up in his face in Breathe On Me, and then strip in Hot in Herre.
Hot in Herre should never be used for anything… ever
I must disagree, Finstock. I reminisce about my neighbor doing a drunken strip tease to that song out on her deck when she had a party while her parents were away.
She was 18.
She was hot.
I was 26 and my wife was out with friends.
Whack away, Mr. Warren, whack away.
I’d definately start of with something rockin’ and catchy to get attention – Magdalena by A Perfect Circle. I’ll make sure they are certainly compelled to throw that dollar down.
Then something a little more upbeat, leaving them wanting yet more – Erotic City by Prince. We could fuck until the dawn, makin’ love till cherry’s gone. Or you could just give me your money.
And I would end with something just as upbeat, a little more girly, with a great beat to dance to, to make sure they come back for the next show – Fuck the Pain Away – Peaches. I’m sure how tight their pants would be getting would certainly need some fucking to go away. =]]
Currently a stripper myself…loved the subway video!
I am a country girl stuck in upstate ny however…so I dance start out with a country song every set.
1~Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins
2~Come on Closer by Jem
3~Kylie by Akcent
goes something like that…I have to have a mix to please the customers. Playing all country would drive most in ny away from the stage…but playing something too heavy usually makes the older crowd leave. This suits me and them.
[IMG]http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a225/Inlovingmemory11_04/IMG_4731.jpg[/IMG]
Look up Peepers in Utica, ny if you’re ever around the area!
oops this may work better…copy and paste
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a225/Inlovingmemory11_04/IMG_4731.jpg
this is a real good thing. i have an audition to be a dancer this week, so im trying to get together some songs for a set. they said they’re in real need to have dancers and am 5′8″ and about 130 lbs so i think Ill get hired, plus im 18
. anyways, Ive got:
Undead-Hollywood Undead (actually heard it in the club when i went as a customer)
I Love College-Asher Roth
Turnin me on -Keri Hilson
Zombie- the Cranberries
I’m So Paid-Akon
I Kissed a Girl – Katy Perry
Sweet Soul Sister – The Cult
Moi Lolita – Alizee
Cyclone – Baby Bash
Living Deal Girl – Rob Zombie (cuz im a die hard fan)
Thunder Kiss ‘65 – “” “”
Whatever you Like – T.I.
She Wants It (Ayo Technology) 50 Cent
Dangerous – Akon
Got Money – Lil Wayne
any feedback?
“Girl I Know” and “Scream” by Avenged Sevenfold
I teach chair dance to those songs. Very sexy and fast if ur the rocker type.
Pussy Control by Lords of Acid
Those girls on that NY subway are just asking to get mugged and raped.