"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Packing is way too complex

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/7/08 @ 8:16 am

(Note: Don’t forget to get your entries in for this contest. Also I am still on vacation this week; I decided to keep a running diary of what happens on this trip. This is running a week behind and there might potentially be two updates a day depending on length… of the post not my junk. Also I know that there has been trouble with my feed, I am trying to figure it out.)

Monday June, 30th: 6:00 P.M.- I am about to set out on a two-week vacation. Never before in my adult life have I had a two-week vacation… well unless you count the time I left my job as a computer networking consultant aka a sales guy. That was the summer of Kevin. I referred soccer, golfed, dj’d, and abused my severance package. It is debatable if you could call it a vacation because I did actually “work” during it.

For some reason I feel that I need to document this vacation. There isn’t a grand literary plan for this. Maybe it will end up in a blog, maybe it will end up in a self-published book with a circulation under 100, or maybe it will be left to rot on my laptop next to copious amounts of barely legal Asian girl pornography. For some reason I feel this trip is going to be formative. Maybe it is going to close the book completely on my youth.  After all I am going to be spending a lot of times with friends I grew up with. Of course I will probably run into girls that I have dated or girls that I think I have slept with but in reality only upset them with a horribly drunken comment about how they may or may not have an Adam’s apple depending on the lighting in the bar.

Or how about I am at a career crossroads where I have an amazing offer that pretty much requires me to move to NYC, it would be my fourth move in a year. Each time I have moved higher up the ladder but created a general wake of unhappiness with it along with a pile of bodies of people I have stepped over and crushed. I don’t feel settled, I don’t feel like I have immediate friends (because every time I make them I have ended up moving), and I am not sure if these moves are for the better. Well beyond monetary gains… At some point I hope to take a treasure bath.

treasure bath

Maybe I just think hilarity will ensue or tragedy. How bad would it suck if this collection of crap were my lead up to an accidental death brought about by tubing on a lake? I did get a concussion from tubing one time.   That kind of sucked. In fact I played a baseball game that night, it is really hard to hit when you see three versions of one pitcher. You know what… I am going to lean towards hilarity, just so I feel better about this.


I have to say that thought process that had to go into packing was staggering. How do you pack for basically 14 days? I assume my friends all have laundry facilities in their homes but would it be presumptuous to pack for like 8 days and then bug them to use their washer and dryer? What happens if I use their machine and have to deal with their unmentionables? I am packed and ready to go. I will ship off after a dentist appointment tomorrow.

Will my live make it through this trip? Where did you go/what did you do for July 4th?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

8 Responses to “Packing is way too complex”

  1. LOTNorm says:

    You should just never unpack.

    We never truly exit the box. When we think we’re living outside of it our lives are really just being placed into one.

  2. Charlotte says:

    You need a cool hobo name for your travels… maybe Carny Kev or Wrongway Palmer.

    • LOTNorm says:

      I feel like I’m monopolizing Kevin’s comments, but “Wrongway Palmer” would seem to fit oh so well into… every facet of your life, Kevin.

  3. em em says:

    I got a concussion once from tubing too. But it was in the snow, not the water. Either way I think it’s safe to say you may want to wear a life jacket for the duration of your trip. Sure it’ll be a little uncomfortable to sleep in, but I’m thinking the benefits outweigh the discomfort. Maybe.

  4. Claire says:

    Another amazing offer?
    I think you really did sell your soul to the devil :)

    I have no idea what I am going to pack for my three week trip, but I am bloody hoping my friends have laundry facilities. Otherwise I will run out of knickers.

  5. Meghan says:

    It speaks to your dedication and ambition that the doors keep opening up for you…sometimes it’s much more gratifying to be able to walk through them, rather than constantly sprinting through in case they close.

    Back to my lack of ambition this 4th of July! We partied on my roof deck with a perfect view of the Boston fireworks, and then I spent 20 minutes fielding nasty texts from my ex. It all came full circle back to happy with one too many jello shots at 2 am. Perfect!

  6. Karl Rove says:

    Pack enough clothes for like a week. If you can’t use your friend’s washer and dryer then you could at least go to a laundromat.

  7. Jeff says:

    Yeah, if you find yourself packing for the entire two weeks, that’s a shitload of stuff to be carrying around. You can always find a laundromat if you need to. Or just wear the same pair of underwear for two weeks.

© 2008 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound