What three people would you change places with for a day?
I hate the question, “who would you change places with for one day?” Nobody ever gives a good answer. If you ask a guy 90% of the time you get one of two answers:
1) The President- For some reason people are under the belief that if you are the President for a day you can make an impact. That is just naïve. It takes years of ineptitude to really screw things up so I can’t imagine fixing anything would happen overnight.
2) (Insert Hot Chicks Name Here)- Guys always say that they would be some hot girl and then just play with themselves all day. While the concept in general is okay the fact of the matter is that they are going to wake up looking unglamorous and having no idea how in the hell to fix it. So they would spend rest of the day avoiding mirrors and laying on the couch watching TV.
So I decided to write down a list of three people I would change places with for a day with every choice being backed up in solid logic.
Dennis Kucinich- Having the ability to have sex with his hot wife isn’t the only benefit of being Kucinich.
He has seen aliens, tried to impeach Bush, and had a failed Presidential bid that was highlighted by him saying whatever the hell he wanted. For one day I would love to be in Congress with the ability to say the most insane shit and have no repercussions for doing it. I possibly would attempt a filibuster with the goal of asking Henry Waxman to shave is mustache because he looks like a pedophile.
Either of the guys from Mythbusters- I want to be able to go to work and just blow shit up. Sometimes it is just as simple as that.
Ellen DeGeneres- I love the fact that this incredibly bland show host is a lesbian and nobody in Middle America really seems to care. So I would test the boundaries of good taste and do an entire episode dedicated to hard-core lesbian things. A shopping for strap-ons segment would be fun followed by something involving the WNBA. To end the show I would have my girlfriend Portia De Rossi come out and straddle my face on the couch.
Who would you like to change places with for a day?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com
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On 06/12/08 at 9:10 am
Meghan said:
1.The dummy, balding, husband in the SONIC Burger ads so I can pimp slap that annoying condescending wife of his sitting next to him. She drives me up the wall.
2.The homeless man on the Charlestown Bridge intersection because his ‘Help Me’ signs have the best penmanship and grammar and lately I have been writing pretty sloppy.
3.Tom Cruise. If I could go 24 hours feeling as good about being such an insufferable douchebag as he does, I could definitely conquer my puny world when I am back to being just Meghan.
On 06/12/08 at 9:14 am
Kevin said:
I see those ads all the time yet I have physically never even seen a SONIC burger.
I believe this chain doesn’t exist.
On 06/12/08 at 9:25 am
Meghan said:
I dated a guy who went to Florida on vacation and found one. He took the mother of all triumphant poses, arms raised at the front door to prove it was real. He was a winner.
On 06/12/08 at 9:25 am
Kevin said:
And you broke up because?
On 06/12/08 at 9:46 am
Margaret said:
Yes! Thank you! I, too, see the commercials, as if they exist, but I have yet to see one. It’s like they are advertising some restaurnat on Mars. “Come to Sonic Burger, if you have GAS enough to make it!”
On 06/12/08 at 9:54 am
Kevin said:
Wouldn’t you think they would fight with their ad people?
“you should advertise nationwide but only have restaurants in Jacksonville” (okay maybe they are in a few more states)
On 06/12/08 at 10:22 am
Meghan said:
I think they are part of the same Marketing Team as the Jack-in-the-Box people. They might as well put In-and-Out Burger ads on with the evening news.
On 06/12/08 at 10:43 am
Kevin said:
I would commit murder for an in and out burger right now.
On 06/12/08 at 11:25 am
Kari said:
I too live on the East Coast, and I have no effin’ clue why I have to endure Sonic and Jack in the Crack ads. I think the closest Sonic to me is about 2 hours away in Richmond, VA (I live in the DC area). I used to live in Texas, where these chains actually EXIST, and I actually liked them (well, more so Sonic than JITC - damn those Cherry Limeades are good!).
So, maybe I would become someone on the Sonic marketing team for a day, and then knock my head against a wall a few times for badly targeted regional advertising.
On 06/12/08 at 10:58 am
bishop said:
i have one in my town kevin ill send you a photo
On 06/12/08 at 10:59 am
bishop said:
a sonic
On 06/12/08 at 9:31 am
Augusto said:
Hugh Hefner would be on my list…with all those hot and willing babes, no question.
Possibly Regis Philbin since he gets away with screaming nonsense at people everywhere.
On 06/12/08 at 9:32 am
Kevin said:
Yeah but Hef can’t get it up. I mean… Why not James Woods? He is always at the mansion banging away.
On 06/13/08 at 9:49 am
Augusto said:
I guess I misunderstood - I would change places but not become Hef - I don’t want to be the actually wrinkled flacid old man.
I was unaware of the James Woods job of Female Satisfaction Agent.
On 06/12/08 at 10:02 am
JiMoe said:
Chances are you are gonna blow your self up if you were one of the mythbusters for a day. haha
On 06/12/08 at 10:19 am
Kevin said:
Good point. It might be painful.
On 06/12/08 at 10:16 am
Alejandro said:
i have a few options,
1) the old guy in playboy mansion (its obvious why)
2) britney spears, just to see how fucked up people live:)
3) Congressman i a good one, same reasons kevin said.
4) well a few more that no one knows…
but instead of being the chick i would like to be her lover o husband or whoever is banging her
On 06/12/08 at 10:46 am
Mandygirl said:
Portia De Rossi makes me want to be Ellen too, LAWD she’s a hottie.
On 06/12/08 at 10:49 am
moooooog35 said:
I was going to say Portia deRossi…but realizing that it would be your face I’d be straddling, I’m changing my answer.
1) Larry Flynt (pre-cripple)
2) Anna Nicole Smith’s autopsy technician
3) Whoever is banging the American Gladiator, “Crush”
On 06/12/08 at 10:57 am
bishop said:
1. i would say bill gates some might ask why him well i would transfer all his money and stock options to myself while i was at it id even give kevin a billion or two that way you could throw your on party with strippers in mascot heads
2. brad pitt for my second that way i could sleep with both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston cause we all know Jennifer would take him back at a drop of a hat
3. President Bush that why i could act totally retarded on national tv and that is what every one expect so i could just say the most outlandish shit every thought up
as for being Dennis Kucinich and filibuster you would have to be in the senate not the house to do that
On 06/12/08 at 11:01 am
The Divine Grace said:
I’d like to be the dude who impersonates Gene Simmons in that midget KISS tribute band because it would only take me half of the time to paint my face that it normally does.
I’d like to be Idina Menzel. I mean, I don’t have any desire to wake up and spend the day working in a Broadway show so much as I’d really like to boink Taye Diggs.
I’d like to be Chris Hansen from “Dateline NBC: To Catch a Predator”. Sure, I enjoy meeting interesting people and working with children, but there’s like an endless supply of sweet tea around this dude! Where do I sign up?
On 06/12/08 at 11:06 am
Fiona said:
If you’re going to be a mythbuster you should be the one with hair. The bald one seems to end up in the dicier situations… plus, I don’t think you could pull off his aswesome ’stash.
I would want to be a stay at home mom who’s husband is insanely hot, very rich and conveniently absent so I can lounge around the house all day with nothing to do but sexually harrass my young hot pool boy while the brats are at boarding school.
OR
Mother Theresa.
On 06/12/08 at 11:44 am
Kassie said:
Davey Havok from AFI
He’s girly, so I wouldn’t be too freaked out about being a man for a day.
Beyonce
She’s hot, and I always wanted to be black for a day.
A random Japanese girl
You know why
On 06/12/08 at 12:42 pm
Keva said:
Kassie: You shoukd be me…i’m a black girl and just as hot as Beyonce…LOL
Let’s see, who would I be for a day?
1. A TRAINED Sea World employee so I could work with Shamu and do all of that cool stuff.
2. A stripper..er, a pretty stripper with a great bod so I could get a sense of what they feel when they’re up there..um, and the cash,too!
3. My daughter so I could tell of the little twits at her old school and see how she operates during the day..um, and to take a bath without backtalk.
On 06/12/08 at 12:56 pm
E said:
Wow, lots of interesting answers here. The obvious one to me is to change places with three people who desperately need to be removed from the planet, and kill yourself as all three. For funsies, I’d be whoever is fucking Colin Farrell, someone really, enormously powerful and I’d use that power for a day to benefit myself and my friends, and maybe Jon Stewart. He’s a sexy bitch.
By the way, the JOTB commercials play incessantly in Denver, CO, and THERE ARE NO JACK IN THE BOXes in Denver. Not a single one. Boise has both JOTB and Sonic.
On 06/12/08 at 1:07 pm
em em said:
1.) I’d be Ann Coulter for a day and commit several senseless horrible crimes that would get her locked up for life so I never had to hear her mouth again.
2.) Melania Trump so I could buzz cut the Donald as he slept so we didn’t have to see that horrible orange and white thing on his head for at least a few weeks.
3.) Peyton Manning so I could sustain a career ending injury simultaneously injuring my brother Eli, thus ending his career as well. Just cuz. =)
On 06/12/08 at 2:50 pm
Sheknowsme said:
1. Bill Gates (’nuf said)
2. Barack Obama (& who wouldn’t?)
3. My boss (so I could understand why he’s such an angry fucker.
On 06/12/08 at 4:35 pm
LOTNorm said:
I’m too damn lazy to read all the comments.
I’d be Richard Branson, Hilary Clinton, and Jeff Bridges. So I could be a dick, a dyke, and the dude.
On 06/12/08 at 6:13 pm
Karl Rove said:
Henry Waxman, not Harvey.
And I like your choice of Dennis Kucinich. But if I wanted to blow stuff up, I’d probably pick some kind of military official. That way I could blow up some really big shit.
On 06/12/08 at 7:59 pm
Steve said:
My answer to this question has and will always be… Dave Grohl. Anyone that can spend 20 years jamming with Curt Cobain, “filling in” for Pearl Jam, then fronting his own band is clearly a god.
On 06/13/08 at 2:21 pm
Atenea said:
We have Sonic Burgers in my Home Town. They have the best Strawberry banana slushies (made with real fruit). Although, I was once very upset at them because they gave me a Strawberry Peanut slushy once, when I specifically asked for banana. Damn THEM! Their burgers are Ok.
If I could be anyone for one day I think I would be a hot Russian Spy. I like the way they talk, and having a license to kill is a definite plus
On 06/13/08 at 2:29 pm
Atenea said:
Or McCain. I would ruin his political career in one day. Hee hee hee. ;P
On 06/14/08 at 12:18 am
Kelcey said:
We have a Sonic! They’re amazing, but I live in Florida but I guess that’s only proving your point… On and also! We have JITB ads too and the closest one I’ve ever seen is Tennessee. And I have no idea who I would want to switch with.