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Jun
05

How can anyone root for Kobe Bryant?

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/5/08 @ 10:23 am



kobe bryantI’m not a huge pro-basketball fan. While I love college basketball I just can’t get into the NBA. Growing up I was really into the NBA but I just don’t enjoy watching it as much anymore. It now ranks up there with punching myself in the nuts repeatedly or watching “Sex in the City”. Maybe it is the Europeans flopping all over the place, the stars that feel a massive amount of entitlement, or maybe it is the fact that the Eastern Conference plays some of the most boring basketball on the planet. While all of these reasons come into play I think my main reason is that the athlete I personally hate the most plays in the NBA, Kobe Bryant. He is the only person that I wish would get undercut while going to the basket. (While I wouldn’t want her paralyzed I think a destroyed knee or having him lose a testicle from running into a TV camera would be acceptable.)

The thing about Bryant is that he is a combination of all the kids you hated playing with/against while growing up:

The coach’s son: (For some reason most of them were red headed and always had a glove, sneakers, or helmet that were two sizes too big for them.) No matter what mistake the kid made in the eyes of his father he could do no wrong and would always get the benefit of the doubt even if it was to the detriment of the team.

While Kobe’s dad doesn’t coach the Lakers, the owner Jerry Buss pretty much caves into whatever Kobe wants and gives him special treatment much like a coach’s son. (You know like trading Shaq and setting the franchise back for four years.) When Kobe was accused of rape in Colorado and had to fly back and forth for the trial the team helped foot the bill for the private jet. Apparently the jet wasn’t the right size for Kobe. Here is a quote from Phil Jackson’s book (his coach) about the jet issue:

“We have agreed … to cover a percentage of (Kobe’s) private plane expenses to and from Colorado for court hearings. This will cost thousands of dollars. Kobe was unhappy with the type of plane that was selected; he wanted one with higher status. He should feel fortunate he’s not footing the whole bill himself.”

The pouty kid: The one that would flip out if things didn’t go his way, would often cry to his parents and do that ultra annoying hyperventilation/crying thing. They were routinely almost inconsolable after being removed from the game or getting yelled at by the coach.

Instead of crying to his parents Kobe cries to Stephen A. Smith. It is kind of fitting that the most intolerable athlete talks to the most intolerable reporter.

The arrogant star that shits all over the crappy kids: I remember in my first year of little league our star player, Ryan Lewis, complained in front of the entire team that his teammate that was up to bat wasn’t worth cheering for because he was going to strike out. When the kid returned to the bench after striking out the star player told the kid he sucked. I remember sitting on the bench just kind of shocked that he did that. (Note: Ryan went on to be a male cheerleader at a crappy small college; I guess there is justice in the world.)

Kobe is that guy. He continually berates teammates in public in a classless fashion. Between that and his overall attitude there is a clear divide between him and his teammates. It is more about Kobe being the man than Kobe having a winning team. If Kobe needed a bone marrow transplant I can’t see any of his teammates rushing out to get tested to see if he was a match.

Bryant is just a horrible person. He has no redeeming traits other than he can play basketball exceptionally well. He is an accused rapist, he cheats on his wife, he has a huge ego, he is a horrible teammate, and he is so unbelievably fake that is makes me physically ill.

I guess what I am saying is… lets go Celtics?

Which athlete do you hate the most?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

51 Responses to “How can anyone root for Kobe Bryant?”

  1. em em says:

    I am a huge boxing fan so the athelete I hate the most would have to be Lennox Lewis, I’ve never liked him. Oh, and right up there with him is Oscar De La Hoya. Nothing made me happier than watching him lose to Pretty Boy Floyd. Hooray! Ooh, ooh, and Terrell Owens. I can’t stand that guy either, I hope he ends up getting injured just badly enough that he can’t play football anymore.

  2. natalie says:

    I’m with you on this one. I had a co-worker that was obsessed with him to the point of photoshopping her image into pictures of him. I brought up some of the points you mentioned and she would just reply “Why you hating on my man Kobe?”

    I figured I would just leave it alone but eventually I deleted her from my friends list on myspace because she would post uPdAtEs LiiKe tHiS regularly about how Kobe Bryant was going to bring the Lakers to their next “victory”.

  3. marcie says:

    you gotta represent the celtics now that you live in the bean…

    Im not a basketball fan at all…

    Im leaning more towards GO RED SOX!

  4. Meghan says:

    I’d go with Vick here, but I’m guessing prison football isn’t the only leisure activity he’ll be using to keep himself busy. Going in a quarterback and coming out a wide receiver isn’t going to be fun.
    Kobe Bryant is so fucking smug! I can’t stand him. He said something about others players playing checkers on the court while he plays chess. It made me want to flip a full checkerboard in his face and punch him square in the groin.

  5. Isha says:

    I can’t stand Kobe either. I want to throw darts at his head. If it were legal to chop somebody at the knees with an axe, he would be the first person I’d chop.

    I also can’t stand Terrell Owens, the whole Giants team (with the Exception of Eli Manning) and Tony Romo (ROMO THE HOMO). OH, wait there is someone I can’t stand more than Kobe…..MANNY RAMIEREZ…as much as I can tolerate the Red Sox, I cant stand him. I would beat him with his own bat.

  6. supernik says:

    i dont really watch them but oscar de la hoya deciding that he could sing was a riot!!! i think baseball players probably are irritating though, all their issues with pay and they make bookoo bucks but nobody watches baseball anymore – good stuff!!!

  7. Sam says:

    Wow… you sound like a whiny little bitch, actually. I think that it is jealousy you have and you might want to go see someone about what can only be described as a huge man-crush on Kobe.

    Kobe Bryant is the second coming of Michael Jordan and has the ability to be better than Jordan ever was. The man IS basketball and is widely recognized as the best player in the league.

    Lakers take the Celtics out in 6.

    Suck it, crybaby.

    • Isha says:

      Kobe Bryant isn’t even fit to lick Michael Jordan’s ass…he’s way too cocky and annoying. Jordan was humble and a great businessman. Kobe has had everything handed to him. Jordan earned it.

      • derek says:

        Actually Jordan had just as much handed to him and it is well known Kobe is one of the hardest workers in the NBA.

      • laidback1992 says:

        yeah i really dont know where u got that.
        Kobe is known def one of the hardest and most enthusiastic workers in the league.Phil Jackson himself said something along the lines of “In kobe’s mind, there is no drill that is too trivial and not helpful to his game.”
        Many consider Kobe to be the most talented and hardest working player in the NBA today. he worked for that reputation, as cocky as he is, you can’t even think about saying that he didnt work for his skill. Not to mention, hes been playing for what? 12 years? hes 29, and among the best of his chosen field. not many can claim that, and none of those that can had that handed to them. u can be handed money, u can be handed power, u can’t be handed skill.

        • Isha says:

          I never said he didn’t have skill, but he throws tantrums for everything. I think he is extremely talented. It’s not everyday you see someone come straight outta high school that talented. But the guy is a real jerk sometimes. Not hating on him, I just dont like him as a person. He’s grown up a bit but not much.

    • Kevin says:

      They aren’t even in the same league. You can’t compare the to… well not logically.

      • Mandygirl says:

        MJ is not only FAR more talented he has this crazy little thing called character.

        Kobe Bryant is a classless asshole that has sex with children.

        His attitude, behavior, and lack of team mentality block him from EVER being as great as Michael Jordan. Lay off the drugs and bandwagons Sam!

        • derek says:

          Jordan has also been called one of the worst teammates ever by many of his peers. He was always “crapping” on his teammates before the championship years. shockingly that is when he started to be surrounded by talented teammates.

        • Mandygirl says:

          Yanno I could be wrong about the cildren thing (oops) I was thikning she waqs underage, and I now think I”m mistaken there… but he’s still an jerk that’s for sure. Hey let’s throw the Vick brothers in this list too : p

        • azngothopz says:

          wtf he doesnt have sex with children atleast make comments tats actual facts cause then ull look stupid like hell

          and if u see interviews about his teamates they love him so im not sure wth u smoking lady

    • Jimmy says:

      You’re kidding, right. Jordan may not have been all world when it comes to class (and that IS what we’re talking about here, not ability) he’s head and shoulders above Kobe. Kobe is the whiny little bitch. I cannot stand his attitude or the way people seem to go out of their way to confer all-world status on the guy. Is he a great player? Yes. As good as Jordan? Yes. A complete and total asshole for whom no one should ever feel alright about rooting? You bet!

  8. Mandygirl says:

    I despise Kobe almost as much as I do T.O. and that is ALOT

    But the one I hate most is Randy fuckhead Moss. WITH A PASSION!

    And yeah, go Celts : )

  9. LOTNorm says:

    I watch basketball to see a basketball game, not to find the next Pope (then what would I do at my Nazi camp?). The truth is most professional athletes are pricks. Most of them have a sickening level of entitlement that the world is mostly to blame for. I do, however, take notice of a genuinely nice athlete because they’re statistically rare: Garnett, Greg Maddux, Brett Favre, etc. all seem to be nice people. A guy I don’t really like is Dwayne Wade, he’s a good example, though, of just looking like a jerk. He may be nice. Hell, a lot more athletes may really be nice, but they just look pricky.

    To clarify, I could give a shit what kind of person they are. If they play well, I’ll watch. Ex. Terrell Owens, Micheal Vick, Kobe Bryant.

  10. matty says:

    Pacman Jones.

    The only man that can get into more fights at a “scrip club” because he feels he needs to be a little “rebellion”.

  11. Chris C says:

    A Rod.

    Celtics in seven.

  12. Edge says:

    Hahah, bunch of haters. Kobe has grown up, and while those things might have been true int he past. he is becoming a cery good and well rounded player, who works with his team, and give the ball up when he isn’t playing his best, but when the time comes he will take the lead and win it too. These arguments may have been valid years ago, but now it’s just the haters oming out of the woodworks. Go Lakers!

  13. Sports??? Does not compute.

  14. Ben says:

    My distaste for Kobe is on par with my distaste for Derek Jeter. Your reasons are icing on the cake, as far as I am concerned. The Lakers are the Yankees of the NBA.

  15. laidback1992 says:

    i agree with your opinion that kobe is waay to cocky for his own good, there was one comment that i didnt agree with.
    Kobe bryant over the last season has become a MUCH better team player- passes more, etc. not only that, yes, he berates his teammates, but only because he is the last of a dying breed that really truly devotes his life to the game. i read an article about him recently (being the basketball freak that i am) and his teammates do not resent this at all, in fact, they see it as beneficial to their own game. they know they can learn from a phenomenal player such as Kobe.
    Now, that isn’t totally in defense of Kobe, because he is much to cocky still, no matter how much he has “reformed”. He still has a long way to go, but he has also made a lot of progress in the past season. I just think he should get some credit for making the effort.
    and while he is admittedly an accused rapist, the girl changed her story so much that it is pretty clear in my mind she made the whole thing up.

  16. CGoatP says:

    i don’t like Texas, California, Florida (except the Dolphins), Boston are or Nebraska. anyone that plays for them basically i dislike. but i’d rather have Kobe and the Lakers win then have to hear asshole New England are douchebags say they are the best again. and Larry Johnson, a.k.a. Gran ma ma, was the baddest bballer of the 90’s and everyone knows it.

    • Kevin says:

      I am torn because I just moved to Boston and I can’t stand the sports fans around here. But my hated of Kobe runs so deep that I would rather suffer listening to them saying they have the best three teams in three of the major sports than having Kobe win a title without Shaq.

      • Chris C says:

        The fandom in New England is pretty rabid but at least we don’t boo Santa Claus like Phili fans do.

      • Karl Rove says:

        I think that Red Sox fans are the most rabid out of all the New England based teams. Next is probably the Patriots. The Celtics haven’t been this good in a while, so they’ll be getting new (and more rabid) fans if they win.

  17. CGoatP says:

    sorry, apparently i can’t spell area

  18. kobe says:

    kobe can ball u up

  19. Tim says:

    Lol at Jordan being moral. Jordan cheated on his wife fact. Jordan had a huge gambling problem fact. Jordan punched Steve Kerr in the face fact. What a moral guy. Kobe may be a douche but hes only trying to be like Mike. Lakers in six. Boston sucks.

  20. Shelley says:

    I wish I could punch Steve Kerr in the face. And I live in Phoenix. I wish the Lakers would take Shaq back. He’s seems like an ok guy, but didn’t do much for the Suns. I hate Kobe. Actually, I pretty much just hate basketball. Hurry up, football season!

  21. Marjorie says:

    what kills me the most about him, is that after the rape all the laker fans were booing him. But after the trial , its like they were cheering for him. And I love Phil Jackson book, because what he said about Kobe is so true. And when they got rid of him, they had a really horrible season because of his selfish kiddish behavior. And it is sad that they cater to him like a child. That is why he is the most annoying NBA star ever, oh and totally didn’t deserve the MVP win this year.

  22. Farva says:

    Kobe Bryant is an asshole! Period! Do you still think he’d be all smiles if his team didn’t make it out of the first round of the playoffs, again! It took the guy 12 years in the NBA to finally figure out how to play the right way, and by right way I mean passing the damn ball! And another thing, don’t ever compare Bryant to Jordan. Not even in the same league. Jordan dominated in an era when big men dominated (O’Neal, Olijawon, Ewing, Robinson,etc.)while Kobe is doing it when it’s a point guards league. Also, they had hand checking when Jordan was playing. If he was in his prime now, I wouldn’t doubt he could easily be averaging 40+ ppg. So in conclusion, Kobe sucks, and Jordan is GOD!! Kobe also has zero rings in my eyes because we all know Shaq was the real reason they won those titles.

  23. Maura says:

    I hate Kobe with a passion. I just thought he was kind of a smug bastard and I didn’t think it was cool that he raped a girl on my birthday. Even though, the rape didn’t become public until days later.

  24. Rotten Rob says:

    Brett Favre!!!!!

  25. Some Dueche says:

    I’m sorry, did somene compare Kobe to Jordan? I guess this really is he end of time…

  26. Jeff says:

    My least favorite athlete? Two categories:

    MY LEAST FAVORITE ATHLETE BECAUSE OF HIS ACTIONS: Barry Bonds. The single biggest asshole in the history of professional sports.

    MY LEAST FAVORITE ATHLETE THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN: Derek Fucking Jeter, because of the way the media fellates him at every turn and talks about how he’s the consummate team player even though he acted like a little bitch at the very possibility he might have to move to another position to accomodate A-Rod. Tim McCarver masturbates while watching Derek Jeter play. True story. And if I hear the phrase “True Yankee” one more time I’m going to kill myself. That is why I hate the fucking Yankees.

  27. Keva says:

    Oh God..I hate Kobe Bryant. I cannot even stand to look at him. I am a Celtic fan by default during these playoffs. I should email this post to my uncle..he loves Kobe and the Lakers..LOL

  28. Selam says:

    HATTTTTTTTTTERRRRRRS.
    he shyted on u all.

  29. ThatN!cka says:

    KOBE DA GOD!!!

  30. JAY-VON says:

    kobe is selfish . kobe is not a team player. kobe destroyied a dynasty in la by snitching on shaq and ball hogging , dissbannded the team in the 04-05 season setting it back 4 years, forcing them to rebuild……m,ade phill jackson quit / luckly jerry west can pull strings and was able to get phil back/ luckly jerry west can pull strings getting treva ariza for a nobody in the trades luckly jerry west can pull strings and get a pau gasol for a nobody player……then after kobe fucks the team chemestry up he tried to get himself traded to chicigo…….. alll this is true….. now how selfish is that? you come into the league getting easy championships because of shaq and then his ego would fuck up greatness.. iam so glad shaq left and got another championship proving his worth…………….now mike jordan played in a allstar game with shaq and there connection was something unstopable. my point beign that jordan is a team player/ kobe is not….. or was not until recently when l.a got gasol and the media hammered his selfishness/ then kobe started becoming the facilitator he should have always bin with shaq being there…………………….

    iam not hating iam telling the truth and keeping it real…if kobe didnt fucking destory the L.a dynasty they would be on about 5 or 6 championships right now 5/22/09 RIGHT NOW…. SHAQ GOT 4 AND TOGETHER THEY WOULD BE ON ABOUT 5 OR 6……..NOW THAT IS THE ULTIMATE SELFISHNESS. DISS CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR YOUR OWN HIGHLIGHT REEL…….

    I AM CONVINCED THAT ANYBOBY CALLING ME OR ANYBODY A KOBE HATER ……. ISNT ATHLETIC THEMSELFS AND JUST REACH FOR THE MOST FAMED NAME IN BASKET-BALL AND JUMP ON THE WAGON…….. BECAUSE IF YOU PLAY SPORTS (BASKET-BALL) YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WINNING IS ALLL THAT MATTERS. NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL EGO OR STAT OR HIGHLIGHT….. (DONT YOU THINK JORDAN AND BILL RUSSEL WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME/ DISPLAYING THE ULTIMATE UNSELFISHNESS)
    (PUT IT THIS WAY IF KOBE PLAYED WITH BILL RUSSEL WE MIGHT NOT KNOW BILL AS THE GREAT HE IS)

    SO HOW IS KOBE BETTER THAN JORDAN?? MIKE JORDAN HAS 6 FINALS M.V.PS SIX CHAMPIONSHIPS
    KOBE HAS NO M.V.P FINAL (THEY ALL WENT TO SHAQ), THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS….

    (IN CASE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A FINAL M.V.P. REPRESENTS , IT MEANS THE PERSON WHO GOT THE FINALS M.V.P WAS THE PERSON AN MAIN REASON THE TEAM WON A CHAMPIONSHIP…SHAQ GOT THREE WITH L.A …………

    NOW I TOLD YOU I KEEP IT REAL SO KOBE IS A GREAT PLAYER/ BAD TEAMMATE/ UNTIL RECENTLY/ BUT YOU MESSED UP A POTENTAIL 2 OR 3 MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS…BECAUSE HE WAS SELFISH AND A HORRIBLE TEAMATE

  31. JAY-VON says:

    kobe is selfish . kobe is not a team player. kobe destroyied a dynasty in la by snitching on shaq and ball hogging , dissbannded the team in the 04-05 season setting it back 4 years, forcing them to rebuild……m,ade phill jackson quit / luckly jerry west can pull strings and was able to get phil back/ luckly jerry west can pull strings getting treva ariza for a nobody in the trades luckly jerry west can pull strings and get a pau gasol for a nobody player……then after kobe fucks the team chemestry up he tried to get himself traded to chicigo…….. alll this is true….. now how selfish is that? you come into the league getting easy championships because of shaq and then his ego would fuck up greatness.. iam so glad shaq left and got another championship proving his worth…………….now mike jordan played in a allstar game with shaq and there connection was something unstopable. my point beign that jordan is a team player/ kobe is not….. or was not until recently when l.a got gasol and the media hammered his selfishness/ then kobe started becoming the facilitator he should have always bin with shaq being there…………………….

    iam not hating iam telling the truth and keeping it real…if kobe didnt fucking destory the L.a dynasty they would be on about 5 or 6 championships right now 5/22/09 RIGHT NOW…. SHAQ GOT 4 AND TOGETHER THEY WOULD BE ON ABOUT 5 OR 6……..NOW THAT IS THE ULTIMATE SELFISHNESS. DISS CHAMPIONSHIPS FOR YOUR OWN HIGHLIGHT REEL…….

    I AM CONVINCED THAT ANYBOBY CALLING ME OR ANYBODY A KOBE HATER ……. ISNT ATHLETIC THEMSELFS AND JUST REACH FOR THE MOST FAMED NAME IN BASKET-BALL AND JUMP ON THE WAGON…….. BECAUSE IF YOU PLAY SPORTS (BASKET-BALL) YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WINNING IS ALLL THAT MATTERS. NOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL EGO OR STAT OR HIGHLIGHT….. (DONT YOU THINK JORDAN AND BILL RUSSEL WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME/ DISPLAYING THE ULTIMATE UNSELFISHNESS)
    (PUT IT THIS WAY IF KOBE PLAYED WITH BILL RUSSEL WE MIGHT NOT KNOW BILL AS THE GREAT HE IS)

    SO HOW IS KOBE BETTER THAN JORDAN?? MIKE JORDAN HAS 6 FINALS M.V.PS SIX CHAMPIONSHIPS
    KOBE HAS NO M.V.P FINAL (THEY ALL WENT TO SHAQ), THREE CHAMPIONSHIPS….

    (IN CASE YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A FINAL M.V.P. REPRESENTS , IT MEANS THE PERSON WHO GOT THE FINALS M.V.P WAS THE PERSON AN MAIN REASON THE TEAM WON A CHAMPIONSHIP…SHAQ GOT THREE WITH L.A IN THERE ONLY TITLE VICTORIES ( I REAPEAT THERE ONLY TITLE VICTORIES OF THIS GENERATION/ALL THE FINALS M.V.PS WENT TO SHAQ)…………

    NOW I TOLD YOU I KEEP IT REAL SO KOBE IS A GREAT PLAYER/ BAD TEAMMATE/ UNTIL RECENTLY/ BUT KOBE MESSED UP A POTENTAIL 2 OR 3 MORE CHAMPIONSHIPS…BECAUSE KOBE WAS SELFISH AND A HORRIBLE TEAMATE

  32. nik says:

    Kobe Bryant whines about every call, whether it goes for him or not. He is a baby. You watch this ‘man’ for five minutes on the basketball court and you realize that he is nowhere near a man. I understand if you want to gripe about a few calls over the course of the whole game, go right ahead, the NBA officiating is absolutely horrible. But this dope puts a sneer on his face during the slight moment before a helpless official is obviously going to make the call in Kobe’s favor.

    The worst part about it is that it immediately rubs off on all of his teammates. Then they start griping about every call and then before you know it the other team has to watch it work for Kobe and his baby counterparts and wouldn’t you know it they have to start griping about every single call in the entire game. He ruins every single game he ever plays in. He ruins his own team, he ruins the other team, and ruins the officiating. Never has there been a more talented athlete that has turned me more off from watching him. I hate to see his immense talent wasted with a personality such as his own.
    Kobe needs to grow up and show a little class every once in a while. Until he does, i will continue to not enjoy watching him play.

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