I Just Want to Play The Do You Know Who I am Card Once in My Life

I have a long standing dream that I will be waiting in a long line to a club/restaurant I can’t get into, and Monica Lewinsky will pull up in a limo and be whisked in ahead of me so I can yell ‘Who do you gotta blow to get in this place anyway’.
But that’s for my own amusement.

You could try the whole “Don’t you know who I am?” thing when you try to convince Keira to take one of your patented shockers.

Back in the late 1990s, my hometown’s Little League team won the Little League World Series. And these little 12 y/o shits got huge heads from it cuz they got a parade, were on Letterman and Leno, etc. I worked my way through college at a movie theater, and these little punks would show up, cause a ruckus, and when you called them on it, would say “don’t you know who we are?” They would go on to threaten that they’d make fun of you on Letterman or something, like he was on speed dial. My one and only time someone tried to play the celebrity card on me.

One of my classmates in highschool’s mom was the mayor for a while, and she tried that at one of the football functions on one of the other moms who wasn’t having it. The other mom on queue cliche’d her back with “the woman whose ass I’m about to kick”. Ha. Nobody liked that crazy old bat anyway, so it was pretty funny.

no one’s played the celebrity card yet.
i’m still waiting to be recognized by someone outside of myspace that i’ve never met except for on myspace. (if only it were you.)
now i’m off to buy some big red.
cuz my bloody vagina is starting to embarrass me.
yeah. “the whole thing situation”, too.

If they believe you’re that kid from “Rookie of the Year,” you should be able to get all the cashiers and the Valupak of Big Red. That kid went on to play Kevin Myers in the three major “American Pie” movies.

Hysterical.

A college professor with a large class (over 100 students) had a policy of giving the last paper turned in a failing grade as a way to encourage promptness and efficiency in class.

One day an unfortunate student was last in line and confronted the professor about the policy. “Don’t you know who I am?” said the student. “No” Said the professor. “Good.” said the student as he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile and walked off.

Since your now in the Boston area just ask for advice from Boston Channel Seven General Manager Randi Goldklank who in April, after 36 drinks on a flight from Phili to Boston uttered that classic phrase when confronted by police at the airport.

Some years ago I was working a part-time retail job (music store). It was management’s policy to accept personal checks only with proper ID. One evening some big guy approaches my register with a stack of CDs and whips out his checkbook once I totaled his purchases. “Sir, I’ll need to see a photo ID, please,” I said politely. “Don’t you know who I am?” he asked sneeringly, flipping the check in my direction. The name, Shannon Sharpe, meant absolutely nothing to me. Upon repeating my request he grudgingly removed his driver’s license from his wallet and flipped it across as well. After he left the store, one of my co-workers came over and breathlessly announced, “Did you see that was Shannon Sharpe?” “Yeah, so…?” I countered. “Geez, I guess you don’t follow the Broncos,” he said. I’m definitely not a football fan, but I decided to play dumb. “What’s a ‘Broncos’?”

A few months later we had a visit from Lionel Ritchie, and he was VERY friendly, pleasant and cool. Also, he paid with a credit card.

Well, I did have a “do you know who I am” in reverse once. I was at a well known monument in Washington D.C. and I saw a guy filming something. I thought he looked like a wrestler so I commented on that to someone I was with. That person took it upon themself to run up to this person and ask them if I could take a picture with them. The guy (who turned out to be a pretty well known MMA fighter-if you know MMA, you would know him) graciously agreed. My stupid self, when he comes over I see that he’s not who I thought he was. Instead of keeping that little tidbit to myself, I let him know “Oh, I thought you were someone else”. He said “I am someone, I’m XX (I’m keeping the name out because the story is a little embarassing for me).” He didn’t hold it against me (thankfully, because being a MMA guy, he could have crushed me with a thought) and still took the pic with me (in fact, he was a really nice guy, though I’ve seen on some other message boards that some others have thought he was a jerk when they met him).

A few months later I see him on a popular prime time TV show and I’m of course very embarassed for having let him know that I had no idea who he was. I still have the pic though, so I can always tell people when I met XX (who because of the TV show is a lot more of a household name).

The only time anyone has ever pulled the “don’t you know who I am” card, they managed to scare the shit outta me. I work in a department store; one day my state rep comes through my line at the checkout. When she’s ready to pay I ask her for her ID for her credit card. She asks me, “Where’d you go to high school!?” I tell her Ohio (not the current state I’m in). She asks me, “Well how long have you lived here!?” “Two years,” I reply. Then she says, “Oh so that’s why you have no idea who your state representative is.” She was quite scary in her indignant rage that I didn’t know who the hell she was. So the next time she came in, I purposely forgot her name again and asked for her ID.

It’s an overrated tool…. You don’t really, technically, like to use it, unless you have to…

Well, let me correct that… you don’t want to use it unless you have to..

It’s better when people go to complain about you at a concert, for example, even though they’re the problem, and they come back and just stare, because they’ve just been told by security that no way in hell are they asking you to leave…

The justice in that situation is, they stop acting like jackasses. The bitch is, they start talking and gossipy and whispering and wondering who it is that you know and why security won’t ask you to leave or bother you in any way, whatsoever. It’s fun, in that you get to see the wheels turning in their little minds.

Excuse me, what did you say your name is???

A drunk customer did once. She threatened me with the sugar shaker. Oooooh, scary!

Yeah, that “do you know who I am” card really worked well for Larry Craig at the Minneapolis airport.

Hi pointlessbanter

You just read a post on my blog regarding 2012 and Alex Jones, just wondering what you thoughts are.

Sorry about posting hear, I couldn’t find a more suitable post

Great site btw