I have always considered Pointless Banter a gay friendly website, I know I have some people that “play for the other team” that read my blog on a daily basis. Honestly I don’t have a problem with gay people; in fact I think they owe me something. You see I live or have lived in the only two states that allow gay marriage. Sure I didn’t campaign or anything but the fact that I lived in both states can’t be a coincidence. So I have decided to take credit for it. My mere presence has gone pretty far for you and now I think it is time that I get a few things in return.
1) The first thing I want… a parade. I know you guys love to hold them and I want one. I don’t care if there is going to be a group of bikers wearing assless chaps as long as the parade is in my honor. Just no Liza Minnelli impersonators… I have my reasons.
2) The right to be the last man to screw Portia de Rossi. Come on, throw me a bone here… better yet I should be the one throwing my bone into her stink ditch. (That actually sounds really harsh. Let me try that again.)
I would like the opportunity to show her how soft and loving a man can be.
Eh… let’s go back to the stink ditch line.
3) I want to be able to say “that’s gay” and not have people give me a lecture that it is politically incorrect. Occasionally I will say that phrase and I don’t mean it as slur or anything. I just would like to be able to say it and not have people tell me how politically incorrect it is… it is a small wish
I am even willing to make an exchange. If you see something totally stupid or pointless you can say, “That’s so Kevin.”
Now if I could only do something for the retarded people of the world….
So gay people of the world, I’ll let you work together on making these things happen. Remember you owe me.
What else can I take credit for?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com