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Screw You Qatar- Not that you can read this

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/12/08 @ 7:06 am

It has finally happened. In the past I have been successful in pissing off small groups of people like Adult Harry Potter Fans, grown men that wear diapers, and Patton Oswalt (he counts as multiple people because he is fat). Today though marks a historic occasion. My blog has been banned in an entire COUNTRY. Qatar has determined that my blog isn’t suitable for their citizens.

A resident of Qatar that reads my blog actually sent me the screen shot of the warning:

banned in qatar

While it does have an English translation of the warning it isn’t the actual literal translation, my friend provided me with one:

Dear Countrymen, (notice we didn’t include countrywomen because they can’t use computers)

We regret to inform you that this page isn’t page isn’t suitable for your viewing. It is written by an infidel and includes scantily clad women, which isn’t permissible for you to see.

Just so you know, you are missing out on some pretty funny shit but such is life. For your sacrifice will be rewarded with 72 virgins in the afterlife.

Praise to Allah,
Qatar Internet
P.S.- Death to Israel

Normally I would be really pissed off that my website was banned in a country. But to be honest I feel like this is a major accomplishment and ranks right up there with:

1) Beating the video game NARC in the arcade
2) Graduating college
3) Stripping on a pool table at the IB in Geneseo and making seven dollars

While I am excited about this because this is an accomplishment I never dreamed of, I do have one reader in Qatar that can’t get my bloggy goodness. So I feel it is my duty to get my blog reinstated. Personally I would do this for any of you if your boss, spouse, or parent wouldn’t let you read this. Tonight I am going to craft a message asking my page to reinstated also I will try to improve American and Middle Eastern diplomacy with it and I will post it here tomorrow.

I wonder if I traveled there if I could even get into the country? Where are you banned from?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

41 Responses to “Screw You Qatar- Not that you can read this”

  1. Meghan says:

    I always think of Patton Oswalt as an Adult Harry Potter Fan who wears diapers. But that’s just me.

  2. Alice says:

    That’s so cool….to be banned. I have to write in my blog as if my Mom were reading it (because she does) so I’ll never be so cool as to be banned. Congrats!

  3. Duane says:

    I find it odd that he can’t visit your site but he can listen to Keyshia Cole.

    • Kevin says:

      I was going to make a joke about having poor taste but … well I don’t want to be lumped in with Keyshia Cole.

  4. Erin Heckenkemper says:

    Wow Kevin–serious Kudo’s!!!
    You’re not just nation wide–you’re international!!!
    I’m sure you’re now on the list of banned people. Congrats, dude!!

  5. Daniel says:

    I had no idea you were so seriously subversive.

    It is only a matter of time until the Bush administration bans you from government computers since they are so enamoured of the countries of the middle east…and remember that Qatar has been a host country for the launching of attacks in Iraq.

  6. Marcie says:

    i need to get banned from something other then driving in all 50 states…

    Oh and my old place of employment…

    my moms house…


  7. bishop says:

    so i guess this is a sign that kevin has arrived being hated on a international level just have to worry now of a hit man from qatar coming to kill you for his 72 virgins good luck being unblocked

  8. Eyad says:

    good luck being blocked. but the translation your friend gave you is totally false, yet funny. the original translation is the literal translation. i speak arabic so trust me on this.

  9. PokerVixen says:

    My friends and I routinely ban things from my life. Just a couple minutes ago I ‘twittered’ that aspartame and coworkers that won’t let me finish sentences are banned. Maybe we don’t have the same pull as a full country, but the intent is the same.

    I think you could get into Qatar if you wanted to. What you’d get kicked out for would probably be unrelated to your blog, but it would make a great story for a future blog.

    • Kevin says:

      How shitty do you feel that you just used “twittered” in a sentence?

      • PokerVixen says:

        Hey! You’re the reason I now “twitter” and “digg” and know wtf a “ceiling cat” is. Maybe Qatar is onto something and the banning is *completely* appropriate

  10. Mandygirl says:

    I’m banned from Value City for life…

  11. marjorie says:

    better watch out, soon the fbi or cia will be at your door, or wire tapping your phone. or even your computer, no more porn for a while.

  12. Ekim941 says:

    Where are the scantily clad women? I must have missed that.

    And you got paid seven dollars to put your clothes back on. You can’t count that as profit from stripping.

  13. sarah says:

    you fucker…what am i gonna read when i get deployed in the next few months???

    • Kevin says:

      Hopefully there will be another book available by then.

      • Melissa says:

        I’d like to volunteer to help our ladies and men of the armed services by doing a full mirror site. Surely, if it takes our government 5 months to find blatant Interweb terrorists and baby molesters, the Qatar government would neeed as much time. Not to mention you could use fake thumbnails with a “click here” note so if there are any scantily clad women in the future the real image will pop up.

  14. Katie says:

    I’m banned from Disneyworld. There was an incident with Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Apparently they don’t enjoy being called Shorty McMidget infront of the children.

  15. LOTNorm says:

    Well… the Keyshia Cole joke has already been made.

    I bet there’s a fatwa out on you right now. Sending a letter will only give them your address. I wonder what the exchange rate is on virgins. I mean, if they kill you, you should get at least like 4 or something, right?

  16. Trisha says:

    I guess I shouldn’t read either because I’m fat- or do you count me as two readers?

    You made me a sad puppy, Kevin.

    • Kevin says:

      Really? Come on now. I never said I was mr. thin. I said groups of people were pissed off at me. In order to include Patton Oswalt on the list I needed to turn him into a group… How could I do that? By making the easy fat joke…

  17. I’m pretty much only barred from a few nightclubs and just about all the churches I can think of.

    Congrats! I haven’t been barred from an entire country before.

  18. bethany says:

    Oh… where aren’t I banned from… ;o)

  19. moooooog35 says:

    Wait…if I move to Qatar…does that mean that I TOO will get 72 virgins?

    If so, can I request that the virgins have watched at least a LITTLE porn? I mean, really…virgin blowjobs are just plain awful. This is heaven, after all. Give me somethin’.

  20. PokerVixen says:

    I love that Google deemed that the appropriate banner ad for the top of this blog is SingleMuslim.com.

  21. angela says:

    wow, you think they’d change your status esp. after that p.s. lol!!!!!

  22. tiffany p. says:

    when i lived in Portland, Maine, I was banned from entering any more Karaoke competitions at certain bars.

    i would win, and people were intimidated..or something.??
    so when the next one would come i wasn’t allowed to enter because (and this is a direct quote/unquote)
    “if people know you are in it, then they won’t come. and we will lose money at the bar”

    boo fucking hoo.

    i know it’s a business, but whatever.

    can you imagine hearing “sorry, tom hanks. you won the oscar last year. how bout letting someone else give it a shot?”

    it reeks of kids sports where everyone wins a trophy so no one’s feelings are hurt.

  23. Amber says:

    2008-05-13 00:21:36
    I love that Google deemed that the appropriate banner ad for the top of this blog is SingleMuslim.com.

    Yeah, the banner on the page now reads “Muslim Singles” and “Meet Gay Men”. Ironic.

    Brilliant work, Kevin! Let’s see where else we can get you banned from! Myself, I’m banned from Chuck E. Cheese, and the City of Torrance, California. Oops! *evil grin*

  24. Jenny says:

    LOL, the banner ad on your page right now is singlemuslim.com

    gotta love it.

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