Debbie Gibson Made Me Realize I Was Pregnant
Today I was all prepared to write about the fact that Debbie Gibson has a stalker and that she apparently got ridiculously hot at some point and I didn’t even realize it. The thing about the whole Debbie Gibson stalker thing is the guy is a cab driver from Spain yet he can afford to fly to the states and go to every one of her shows when she is on tour. I didn’t realize cab drivers made enough money to fly across the ocean and follow a nationwide tour? But then I figured he probably actually lived in a one bedroom apartment where he had to shit, shower, and wash his dishes in the sink plastered with “Tiger Beat” covers and album sleeves of “Electric Youth” all over the walls, which cleared everything up for me.
Did I mention how hot Debbie Gibson is now?
(Photo: AP/Jennifer Greylock)
Well anyways I was about to write a whole blog about this but then I found a page that talked about pregnancy symptoms and I realized that I could potentially be with child. When you add the symptoms up and news about that one guy getting pregnant well… It looks like we can throw a baby shower. Look at the symptoms, I have them all covered:
Delay/Difference in Menstruation: I haven’t menstruated in like three decades, I would consider that a delay.
Swollen/Tender Breasts: These bad boys are feeling a tad tender, I brushed against my right nipple today while showering and felt like I got kicked in the balls. Or maybe that pain was from me stubbing my toe at the exact same time, eh I am sure there is no correlation. Usually though when I rub my nipples it is a pleasurable experience. (I think I just shared a little too much.)
Fatigue/Tiredness: Sure it might have something to do with working 12 hour to 14-hour days, but I doubt it. I have never been this rundown before it has to be because of my changing body. Like last night I fell asleep before my usual ritual of masturbating while chocking myself with a belt to Law and Order (just kidding I have never watched Law and Order).
Nausea/Morning Sickness: I just got done watching the season finale of Rock of Love and I got a little sick, could there be a correlation? BTW, I was totally shocked that Brett Michaels had a scene where he wasn’t wearing a hat or a bandana. Did he staple the wig to his head for that? I just don’t get it.
Also I have to say my favorite part of each season is where they play a crappy song of his while he sits thinking staring off into nowhere. Like he hasn’t screwed all of them already and it isn’t like he is going to date them after the show, so what the hell is he thinking about? My vote is that he is thinking about the time he got really drunk and mistook CC DeVille for Phyllis Diller and had a night of dirty/drunken sex with him and realized he will never have a moment like that again in his life.
Darkening of Areolas: These have changed a full shade… well the light also broke in my bathroom and I am too lazy to go to the store and get a bulb, so this hasn’t been confirmed.
Backaches/Headaches: Sure why not…
Frequent Urination: Well on Saturday after doing a walking tour in Boston with my friends from out of town I had to make two emergency trips to the bathroom on the way home. Just so you guys know, avoid the Pizzeria Uno in Harvard Square unless you want to use a bathroom where everything is soaked in urine and now thanks to me the toilet is clogged. (Wait that wasn’t because I had to piss… never mind)
Implantation Bleeding: I got nothing for this one.
So many topics for the question of the day, tackle whatever you want:
Isn’t Debbie Gibson hot?
Who the hell would stalk Debbie Gibson?
Am I knocked up?
Who watched Rock of Love 2?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com (click on the link for funny blogs)
Have fun in NYC! 
On 04/16/08 at 10:15 am
Haley said:
“Like last night I fell asleep before my usual ritual of masturbating while choking myself with a belt to Law and Order.” You are hilarious! I wouldn’t worry about the nausea. Rock of Love will do that to you.
On 04/16/08 at 11:09 am
Kevin said:
I don’t know if it was the show or Daisy’s crappy ink
On 04/16/08 at 10:24 am
handsoffthecolaproduct said:
Frequent urination, you want to get your prostate checked. You know doc with the rubber glove type thing? Implantation bleeding, not everyone gets that, maybe you are preggers.
On 04/16/08 at 11:10 am
Kevin said:
No I hardly ever piss… wait that could be a bad thing
On 04/16/08 at 10:38 am
clientsideshow bob said:
Just think how sick you would feel if you were watching Flavor of Love! Have you told the girlfriend yet that she’s going to be a fa-mother? You might want to get those child support payments before your next walking tour.
On 04/16/08 at 11:11 am
Kevin said:
She is probably going to trip me down the stairs
On 04/16/08 at 10:56 am
merri said:
i liked rock of love!! i did notice that one moment when he had no bandanna. i thought wow, has that happened before?
On 04/16/08 at 11:11 am
Kevin said:
it stuck out like a sore thumb didn’t it?
On 04/16/08 at 11:01 am
Angela said:
Oh come on…Debbie’s got the one Botox eye thing going on like Terri Hatcher.
On 04/16/08 at 11:13 am
Kevin said:
Sorry I was focused on her breasts
On 04/16/08 at 8:11 pm
Ekim941 said:
She has eyes?
On 04/16/08 at 12:10 pm
Meghan said:
Rock of Love - I could never date a guy named Bret again. I’m waiting for the reality programming at VH1 to get so defunked they run:
“Kiss Me Deadly - with Lita Ford” Blechhh.
On 04/16/08 at 12:12 pm
Marcie said:
well the being 3 decades late to get your period…id say start picking out baby names and filing for child support.
On 04/16/08 at 12:14 pm
Meghan said:
At the end of the show he said something about having Hot Monkey Sex. My only thoughts were:
1. I would rather have sex with a Hot Monkey than Bret Michaels.
2. My chances of catching a disease would be far less if I did.
On 04/16/08 at 12:36 pm
PitChiK said:
Uhhh, Debbie Gibson looks like an alien on crack dude. I mean, I have an appreciation for the female form, but her face…YIKES!
On 04/16/08 at 3:20 pm
Karl Rove said:
1. Debbie Gibson is pretty attractive.
2. You might stalk Debbie Gibson.
3. You might want to get a pregnancy test.
4. I would rather use the bathroom at the Pizzeria Uno in Harvard Square than watch Rock of Love.
On 04/16/08 at 7:52 pm
Brandi said:
Ummm…. DEBORAH Gibson, thank you very much. She’s all growed up and has stated that she doesn’t want to be called “Debbie” anymore.
On 04/16/08 at 8:27 pm
Kevin said:
And when she writes her own blog she can herself whatever she wants… She will always be my little debbie… or tiffany… same thing
On 04/16/08 at 9:57 pm
Fiar said:
Brandi, you might want to tell the Associated Press that she doesn’t like being called “Debbie.” The headline to the story is “Debbie Gibson seeks restraining order against Spanish man”
On 04/17/08 at 1:17 pm
Darcie said:
Debbie Gibson is not hot. You have bad taste.
On 04/17/08 at 6:51 pm
Jinksy said:
I saw Ms. Gibson’s nude pictorial in Playboy a few years ago.
I agree, she’s all grown up (in all the right places).