5 Questions with Metal Bee Gees Tribute Band: Tragedy

Last week I went to see a Led Zeppelin cover band near Fenway Park here in Boston. On the bill was a band called Tragedy “A Metal Tribute to the Bee Gees”, when I saw that I thought about skipping out and going to another bar until around the time the Zeppelin band would be going on stage. I am so glad I didn’t. Tragedy was absolutely one of the funniest/most fantastic things I have ever seen in my life. I talked to them after the show about doing an interview and ended up following them around for part of their tour so I could write about it here.

After I wrote up my article and submitted it to Rolling Stone, the fact checker for the magazine was told everything in the article was a lie. I went home and spent most of the week in bed until Mo’Royce Peterson from the band stopped at my house, apparently he was tricked by band aid Penny Lane. We both reminisced how we loved Penny Lane, he apologized for what he did to me in regards to Rolling Stone and then he agreed to be interviewed.

Normally I do five questions but since this might be the greatest band in the world… they get ten.

1) I guess the first question one has to ask is… A Metal Bee Gees tribute band, why?

Our primary objective in starting this band was to get noticed on comedy blogs. Comedy has been ignoring tragedy for years. So unfair it’s not even funny!

It has been said that Ted Williams could see the seams on a baseball as it was pitched towards him. We, the genii (plural for genius, duh!) of Tragedy have huge, powerful brains in our balls (brainballs). We knew that if we took our steaming-hott metal to the sweet syrup of the Bee Gees that it would change the world forever.

2) Honestly when I heard that there was going to be a Metal Bee Gees tribute band I was prepared to skip to another bar for a bit, then you guys hit the stage and not only melted faces but changed the way I look at the world. How many other lives have you changed?

Your foolishness is forgiven. If there is one thing we have learned from our bible study class, it is forgiveness. Through the Power of Christ, we have left Homosexuality for good this time, and so can you. Change starts at home, brother.

(Note: Oddly enough after seeing Tragedy my lusting for Richard Simmons has decreased.)

3) When trying to explain this event to my friends I said you were a combination of Tenacious D, Spinal Tap, and the greatest Metal Band ever Bon Jovi (but with a sober lead guitarist), is that an accurate description? If not how would you explain your band? (sorry that was a long way for a Richie Sambora joke)

That was a joke? (Note: Not a very good one, my bad)

That is a fair description, except none of those bands played Bee Gees songs. Idiots. Though I think Barry Gibb and Jon Bon Jovi get their teeth whitened by the same dentist. If I can be half as Metrosexual as those guys, my life will be complete.

4) I once read about a musical note that when heard will make the listener shit themselves.

Oh yeah…look at me…I can read. Show off.

a) Have you ever achieved that note?

Maybe. Man, that would explain a lot of things.

b) Do you think the Bee Gees were the first band to find a note that made men want to blow another guy?

Music has inspired love and romance throughout the ages. I seriously doubt they were the first.

5) You have played shows with other tribute bands that range from Sublime Tributes to G’N'R Tributes but also with big name bands The Donnas and Umphreys McGee, do you get different reaction from playing with these other bands? And can you get me the drummer from the Donnas phone number?

Not that different. All those bands totally hit on us when we played with them.
We have played with a crazy variety of bands. It’s been pretty wild. But, everybody loves Bee Gees metal. It’s universal. That’s why we’re so popular and everyone wants to bang us.
After being with us, Torry doesn’t really “hang out” anymore. Don’t waste your time.

(Note: There are no confirmed reports that Tragedy ran a train on her.)

6) Complete this statement: Tragedy is_______

the opposite of Comedy.

7) Have you had bowel movements larger than Mini-Kiss?

To this point, we have not been weighing. But, we will have Lance (our intern) get right on that. I’ll keep you posted.

8 ) Will there ever be a Menudo Metal Tribute Band?

Not without a lawsuit. From us.

9) What is your favorite Bee Gees song? Or is it like choosing your favorite sexual position?

Fanny Be Tender. So, yes.

10) What is next for Tragedy?

On our myspace blog you can view maps of impending decimation by Tragedy. Wherever there is a Tri-State area, Tragedy will be rising to #1 in the rankings of Heavy Metal Bee Gees tributes in said territory

Our CD can be purchased on our site. The album will be available on Itunes in the near future. Our other bands: Moi? and Children of the Unicorn.

And finally, something that no words in the English language can possibly describe, their video for Stayin’ Alive:

I know all of your lives have just been changed, there is no need to thank me.

Is there anything more improbable than a metal tribute to the Bee Gees?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com