You would think a really heart warming and feel good story is a lottery story, where some person randomly won enough money to set them up for the rest of their lives. However that is one story type that makes me cringe. Personally next to engagement stories a lottery story is the worst story you can hear. First of all I freely admit I would be a total prick if I won the lottery, which is probably why I never will. (Ignoring the massive mathematical odds against me and the fact that I never purchase any tickets, my karma is really what is holding me back.)
Like this story that was on Good Morning America about a Welsh winner of the lottery that promptly returned to work at McDonald’s because he was bored. He said there was only so much relaxing one person could do and wanted to return to work with his friends. In the story they talk about a group of lunch ladies that won over 90 million dollars in a power ball lottery and most returned to work.
Now I get that you would get bored, I couldn’t just sit at home and do nothing everyday just because I didn’t have to work. But why would you return to your old regular job. Wouldn’t you maybe purchase a McDonald’s? Or maybe open up a bar or something? I covered the five things I would buy if I became disgustingly rich before and I still stand by that list.
So what am I getting at? I want to hear this interview just once in my life when someone wins the lottery.
(at a crazy lavish party with John a young lottery winner)
ABC News: So John you just won thirty million dollars what are you going to do with all that money?
John: Well I got it all up front and I am you know just having fun with it. I really can’t say much more than that.
ABC News: You have been lavishly spending your money ever since you won, an exhibition game against the New York Knicks, multiple massive parties, heck… you even have rented out the most expensive hotel in New York and are remodeling it. Why are you spending your money so freely?
John: (giggling) I can’t really say, you know… I just like to have fun.
ABC News: One might say you are needlessly recreating the movie Brewster’s Millions for the heck of it.
John: What is Brewster’s Millions?
ABC News: It is a movie where a man gets thirty million dollars and has to spend it in a month in order to receive an even larger amount of money.
John: (turns to his friend) Wait, that was a movie? So I am not really going to turn this into $300 million by spending it all in a month? You told me that this was a typical thing for millionaires? I have like $1,500 left… You son of a …
(camera cuts out as John kills his friend)
Now that is a lottery story I want to hear.
Where do you stand on lottery stories?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com