Cum on Everybody, Let’s Go Boating!

God I love some of the hillbilly garbage that lives in my neck of the woods.  Today Mrs. Donk and I were driving along when a big truck towing a boat got in front of us.  I started laughing so hard that I almost wrecked the car as I noticed the name of the boat, emblazoned proudly on the back of the boat in huge pink letters:

Women CUM First

Using my Holmes-like powers of logic and reasoning, I quickly deduced a few things about the owner of the boat:

1) He really, really likes beer.

2) He has a two-word first name.

3) His boating excursions will someday end tragically when, in a drunken stupor, he drowns while trying to retrieve a corndog he has dropped into the lake.

4) He owns a hat that states emphatically that he is a “Bikini Inspector.”

5) Women most DEFINITELY do not cum first, if at all.

But I must say, the dude did inspire me.  I’ve decided that I too am going to buy a boat, and when I do I will bequeath it with a name that matches my most dignified nature.  Indeed.  And when I do buy it, you all are invited to a party on board that new ship, the

S.S. Show Me Your Tits