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Random Thoughts: Cleaning out the notebook

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/19/08 @ 6:14 am

(So it is another edition of random thoughts, I just kind of empty my notepad of various things I would possibly write about but never really got around to doing it.)

I sit here today looking at my computer screen with tears running down my cheeks. My biggest fear has come true.

Did it burn when I pee? No.

Did I get fired from my job? No.

Do I miss “My Blake Incarcerated”? No.

There was a hair growing on my ear today.

I remember when I was little and I went to the barbershop with my friend to get our haircut. There was a bunch of Old Italian guys sitting around and one of them had more hair in his ear than on his head. It scared the ever-living crap out of me, I couldn’t get that out of my head and it was all I could focus on. (Side Note: The barber got busted for child molestation years later, so I am glad I went there with my friend or it would have been a whole “Arnold goes to the bike shop” Diff’rent Strokes episode.)

Tis a sad day indeed, I need to go Nair my ears….

ear hair

Does anyone know a guy named Blaine that isn’t a total douche?

I will occasionally watch “Rock of Love” on VH-1 and it amazes me how emotional these girls get when a girl goes into Brett’s room. My other favorite part is how they bash a girl for being a total skank then make out with Brett minutes after that girl just did. Can’t you get “skank” juice on your lips or something?

Do you think Brett has a whole “don’t pull my hair in bed” policy so his wig doesn’t fall off?

I watched MTV’s “True Live: I work in the sex industry” this weekend. One girl was like an assistant to a porn producer and couldn’t get a date. (She thought it was because she was in the porn industry, it had nothing to do with the fact that she was an idiot, was overweight, and had really bad pink hair.) Another girl had a sex themed radio show and was attempting to enter into a monogamous relationship. The there was a guy that was straight and doing gay porn. He had the greatest quote of all time when talking to his sister and explaining why he does it, he said, “Would you have sex with your friend for $1,000? Everybody has a price.”

Yeah I guess everybody has a price but $1,000 is way low to have a penis shoved into my ass. I mean that isn’t that good of money and throwing the money line out there to justify it is so lame unless it was an ungodly amount. Seriously dude, just admit that you are gay and that you really love your job. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

According to the John Adams mini-series on HBO small pox really sucked… Just figured you should know.

Comment on whatever….

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

33 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Cleaning out the notebook”

  1. cigar smoking beer drinking lawyer says:

    1.ear hair – welcome to middle age.
    Scank juice- yuck/oh yeah – bad mental image, then very hot one ala lesbian sex porn.

  2. cigar smoking beer drinking lawyer says:

    1. ear hair – welcome to middle age.
    2. Skank juice- yuck/oh yeah – bad mental image, then very hot one ala lesbian sex porn.
    3. How bad would it be to have your wig pulled off during sex? Wonder if Lonnie ever did it to Burt.

  3. Matty says:

    Blaine is a major appliance, not a name.

  4. Steve says:

    I saw about 2 minutes of that “True Life” show. Then I realized it was on MTV and after changing the channel I stabbed myself in the ear with an ice pick.

    • Kevin says:

      MTV has good shows likes… uh… and uh

      • Steve says:

        I should stop reading your blogs and just start sending you hate mail every day for even trying to defend the shittiness of MTV. Haha.

        But I won’t. There aren’t enough good blogs to read. So you’re in the clear….For now.

  5. bethany says:

    But Abigail was the bomb at being a woman.. ;o)

    I agree with Matty, Blaine is a major appliance, not a name. I don’t know anyone with that name…. except Andy’s boyfriend in Pretty In Pink.. God, I used to love Andrew McCarthy. And then, he started doing all those pervert appearances on the various Law and Orders.. totally ruined that nice douchebag image to be replaced with creepy douchebag image.

    • Matty says:

      Hey Bethany. Glad to see that someone got the PIP reference. But, don’t all nice douchebags become jaded creepy douchebags eventually? It’s the circle of life…

      • bethany says:

        Are you kidding? If it’s a movie I’ve seen, it’s hard for me not to get the reference.. but that’s one of my favourite parts of that movie.. I’m almost tearing up thinking about Duckie Dale…

  6. GEMMERZZ says:

    wow. didn’t realize that being the assistant to a porn producer really qualified as being in the porn industry. haha.

    • Kevin says:

      I know, she would talk to people about it like she was in it… Unless you are on the camera getting drilled I don’t count it

  7. Leckerecke says:

    I’ve pulled off a girl’s wig accidentally during a makeout session in the front seat of my ‘78 Chevy at the drive in movie (cue any bad song from GREASE) and it mortified me. She was a cancer survivor, but hadn’t gotten around to telling me any of that. She didn’t survive the date. I know, I’m a jerk.

  8. Jessica says:

    Did anyone notice that “gay porn star” also drives a Pontiac Vibe……..just sayin

  9. hil says:

    I do the whole thing of keeping a notepad of random thoughts and cleaning it out once in a while after never getting around to them, too. It’s awesome to see that somebody else does this!

  10. Patty says:

    “I miss “My Blake Incarcerated” – I am so glad you caught that. I laughed for a good week. It beats any shout out Nelly made to his homie in jail. Amy’s fake tear drop under her eye beats Nelly’s band-aid any day.

    Ear Hair is the precursor to not being able to drop 10lbs in a week after only curbing your drinking to 3 out of 7 days…welcome to your 30’s. Get rid of that QUICKLY. I stopped dating a guy because I saw ear hair. I know I am shallow.

    HBO Small Pox documentary – I used hand sanitizer for weeks after I saw that. You should see the one on Influenza. You will arm yourself with Lysol ready to spray at any minute when someone coughs.

  11. kate says:

    you’re right about blaine. he is a douche.

  12. conundrum says:

    Oy that ear hair.

    I’m lucky – mine sprouted out of my nose where at least I can see it easily and dispense with it.

    Even though there is very little hair left on my head, I have lost not one follicle of it. It just moved to said nostils, my shoulders and my back. I wish it had checked with me first for permission to relocate.

  13. penny lane says:

    “Cock of Love” is my guilty pleasure ~ they usually choose one girl to single out & bully & try to exercise some imaginary moral superiority over her. Nothing better on a Sunday night~ destined to be a tv classic. Much like “Arnold goes to the bike shop”… so funny.

  14. Amanda says:

    I saw that episode of True Life and couldn’t understand why she didn’t explain what it was she actually did. She told everybody she was in the “porn industry” and to me, if I heard tat, I’d assume they were in them.

  15. Sophie says:

    I feel your pain. I’ve started to get the stray gray hair here and there.

    I didn’t see that small pox documentary, but I welcome any cold. I only get sick once or twice a year. I figure the more super-illnesses I get, the stronger my immune system is. I never get the flu shot either. Everyone I know who gets it, gets the flu afterwards. I have this theory that they purposely inject people with it so the pharmeceutical companies can make more $.

  16. -Dallas- says:

    I faced the same thing a few years back. I remember writing my best friend Michelle and telling her that I had found hair in both of my ears. That was the first time I realized….I’m getting old…*shutters*

  17. David says:

    I their such a “price”? Really. I’m not homophobic but still I just couldn’t do it. Truly and honestly the number would have to involve 7 to 8 digits to just get me to even think about it.

  18. Another Government Employee says:

    I saw that bit with the Straight Gay Porn Actor. $1K is not enough to sell my soul. Sorry.

    And as for the ear hair. That is only a problem is that is your ONLY hair.

  19. Branwyn says:

    Ok, so we stumbled upon Rock of Love and got hooked on how bad it is. I love, note the sarcasm, it when they cry about every decision he makes. As if they are already married to the guy. And if they’re not in the bedroom with him? Well of course, note more sarcasm, that means he’s in true love and wants nothing to do with anyone else. Give me a break.
    With your ear hair? It’ll be a helluva comb-over! LOL!
    Straight guy-gay porn? He just needs to admit being bi and get on with life.

  20. Amy says:

    Um. Ear hair = old age
    I’m just sayin’


  21. SweetNess! says:

    uh, whatever…..

  22. Jessica says:

    Hey now, I liked that episode! True Life rules, and you people just don’t know what you’re talking about. MTV does show music videos, and pigs can fly.

    At least, that’s what my kid sister told me. I just want the gay porn star’s number.

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