What Does Ben Folds Have To Do With Hate Mail?
(I did a freelance job for double viking DV Expose: The Great Irish Drinking Myth)
Last night Ben Folds played an exclusive show on the Northeastern Campus, the tickets weren’t on sale to the public and it was set up for Northeastern students only. I was able to wrangle up some tickets from a student and we ended up in the fourth row for an excellent show. I found the kid on craigslist, so I want you all to know that craigslist can be used for good and not always evil.
The show was in a really small theatre probably on par with most high school auditoriums, so to say it was intimate would be an understatement. With it being such a small show you could hear just about everything that was yelled in the crowd. Of course there was the drunken idiot that had to get attention by yelling, “Rock this bitch” in between a few songs. Then people shouting out requests followed that and finally someone screamed, “Play whatever you want”. It was getting to a point where it was slightly annoying, as I hate when people try and interject themselves into the show.
So how did Ben handle it? He made up a song on the spot and said how people wanted him to play rock this bitch and some wanted him to play whatever he wants… Then some schools didn’t want him to cuss. It was pretty damn funny and it shut everyone else the hell up for rest of the night. He could have ignored it but the yelling probably would have continued all night, instead of letting it get out of hand he gave them the attention that they wanted and silenced them.
Now the question is what the hell does this have to do with hate mail?
At the show last night I checked my e-mail from my phone and saw that someone sent me a message from the website which was hate mail. Now I mean at this point I am so use to it that I just move on, when people randomly come across your website and see that you write a blog saying that Michael J Fox got Parkinson’s because he starred in so many shitty movies or that you know a guy that knows a guy that fucked a dog well hate mail is something one should expect.
This message let on that they were someone that knew me, and that they took offense because I made some jokes about single moms. They inferred that they knew me yet didn’t have the balls to leave their name or a real e-mail address, which I find funny. If you know me why are you going to hide? Now I could have let it go like I do the other 10-20 messages I get a week but I learned from Ben Folds last night to include the hecklers in the show so they can get the attention that they so crave.
Dear Bananas, (if that is your real name but I have a feeling it is Ann)
I write a humor blog, if you can’t take it when your sub group gets made fun of well you need to examine yourself. If I am big enough of a person to point my humor at myself you should be big enough of a person to do the same. In my experience in writing people usually get offended when things hit a little to close to home.
Personally I imagine you typing this e-mail out after a few glasses of wine after you have put your kids to bed and repeatedly checked your match.com inbox praying for someone to give you attention. You just thought about putting in an episode of “Sex in the City” into your DVD player so you can dream about what you think your life would have been like if you didn’t get married at such a young age and bang out three kids with a guy that dumped you as soon as he got his medical license. (Some men call it upgrading.) However, you decide that you don’t feel like watching an episode and decide to surf the Internet before sliding into bed and using your beaten up vibrator that groans whenever it sees your stretched out vagina approaching it.
When you came across my site you probably read something that you found objectionable and decided to write a nasty message to fill the emptiness in your heart. Well I read your message and I am giving you the attention you so badly want, because god knows you need it, as I am probably the first man that has talked to you in days. Actually strike that, I am sure you ex called and said he couldn’t take the kids this weekend because he had to go bang his new girlfriend in wine country or something like that. So technically I am the second guy you talked to this weekend.
I am acknowledging you message, I hope you feel better now. Now shut the fuck up and let everyone else enjoy the show.
-Kevin
Tomorrow: I think Hayden Panettiere could reach my colon with her tongue
Is alleged anonymous hate mail the biggest puss out of all time or what?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com
Yeesh! I guess you leave a bad taste in SOME people’s mouths…Next up – Hayden licking your colon.
It all ties together
I am so jealous about the Folds show. You’re a pimp.
Well that and I paid like $30 over face value
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Signed, ME
(Now to delete my info… shit….)
LOL I would rather take on a full frontal attack then have people try and sneak around
omg kevin i’m dying laughing you are the shit that letter was priceless a kevin’s freaking classic!!!!!!!!!!!!.. okay question I’m into all kinds of music who the hell is ben folds ?? is it ben folds five?? or i dont know what the heck i’m talking about lol
becky
It used to be Ben Folds Five but they broke up so now it is just Ben Folds
It wasn’t Match.com that they’re on. It’s “SingleParentMeet.com”.
For her it is “I fucked the next door neighbor that didn’t have a license and was a drug dealer”
Yeah, I will never in my life understand people’s inability to stop reading things that offend them. My favorite phrase is something my little brother says to people all the time. “Your personal preference is not my problem”. Pretty simple concept, if you don’t like it, leave. And don’t come back, it won’t get any better.
I think I need that tattoo’d on my ass
you are one of the funniest humor bloggers ever
Lies
That letter was genius!!
Some people are “socially and emotionally retarded”. They don’t have the proper social graces to know how to deal with things, and they think everything is there business.
If it makes you feel any better, she probably also wrote a nasty letter (or e-mail) to Thomas Harris saying she didn’t like how cannibals were portrayed in Silence of The Lambs, since she, herself, only eats human flesh out of necessity.
Dumb chick.
Kevin has a stalker!
Well at least you know it wasn’t me. I would have signed my name. :^)
Is Ann hot?
Her ass is kind of big
is she hot enough that one can withstand her craziness???
a big ass does help
No… The guy that lived below me practically left the country to avoid hanging out with her
perhaps she just needs some dick. That solves a lot of female problems nowadays
Wrong approach. She seems more like a rash than an itch. Scratching it will only make it worse. You should know this.
Yeah… I never learn my lesson
Holy Shit, Palmer!
You are a meanie. But I suppose she did ask for it…when I think you are being an ass I’ll just tell you.
You’re an ass.
See? I love the honesty we have.
Oh, and ps…I still hate you for going to this show and for the ones coming up. You b-astard.
I just hate people hiding behind a fake e-mail address because they don’t have the balls to talk about it. So instead of sending a reply message and having an intelligent discussion I will just put them on blast and get a blog out of it.
Did he do Bitches Ain’t Shit? Or get on the piano and do his near strip tease?
I LOVE Ben Folds.. Glad you got to see him in an intimate setting…
As for your experiment.. it’s been my experience when you give people a little attention, that’s all they really wanted in the first place. However, you have to carefully phrase it into either backhanded compliments that they don’t get (which isn’t usually that difficult) or positive attention that you’re sort of cursing yourself for in the back of your mind the entire time…
As for anonymous hate messages… yeah.. I feel the same way.. if you’re going to do it, if you’re going to say it, have the balls to say it to my face. That goes double for the MySpace culture of doing preferred or friends only blogs just to call someone a cunt or call them out. Grow up and handle things like an adult.. It would be one thing if you only made fun of other people, but shit, you constantly make fun of yourself..
Then again, I’ve been on the receiving end, or, more exactly had a friend on the receiving end of some anger by way of jealousy that nearly physically hurt her because of me. In that instance, I would have rather the anonymous message.
Yes he did play it… No stripping though
Damn. I didn’t mean for you to go all Dan Quayle on me. Jeez, that is the LAST time I send you an anonymous letter after the box of wine runs dry…
NOTE: (Single mother making fun of herself. It doesn’t hurt. Promise chick. Remember Food Stamps won’t buy you a sense of humor)
I always had you pegged for a box of wine type of girl
I know, classy right?
I drink it with my ritz and cheese whiz. Pink wine goes best with Cheese whiz. FYI.
Ben Folds is awesome! We seen him this last month at purdue university in Indiana and he put on such an awesome show. It was a great 2 1/2 hours and yes, we had those hecklers too but i don’t think they were drunk. Ben is a true entertainer…..
The only other time I’ve commented on your blog I believe was when it was about Ben Folds. I send him anonymous emails, but they sure aren’t hateful.
Yeah this is mean. But if she signed her name “Bananas” then I’m starting to loose compassion.
lol… love your comeback.. although I am a Sex and the City fan..
Ben Folds Five is awesome.. reminds me of my freshman year in college at UGA.. although I guess he’s just Ben Folds now. Glad to see you enjoying Bean town.. if and when I am in Boston. We must go out for a pint.
im a single mom and i dont take offense to your blogging…
in fact I have jokes too…
anyways keep coming on with the funny and next time post the hate message too….
Until she learns how to use a real e-mail address and grows a pair of balls it doesn’t get posted.
Basically.
Except hate mail on myspace seems to be worse.
I get hate mail from people who immediately block me after sending it. It’s like, “REALLY?”
XD
You have some great stuff on your blog. Your insight and expertise would be a welcome addition to our new community, i hope you will consider joining
and thanks for sharing!