Mar

The Legend of Revelation, Lost Hair Metal Gods – Part 1 – 1989

By: donkeysosa on 03/14/08 @ 1:20 am

Motley Crue. Poison. Cinderella. Winger. Britny Fox. Kix. All masters of the art of Hair Metal, adored by masses of mulletted admirers. But nowadays few, if any, remember one of the true pioneers of the genre, a band that blazed a trail of molten metal all across this great nation of ours. The band: Revelation.

For the next few days, we’ll be studying this great band’s short, but illustrious career, from its inception in 1989, to its glory days in 1990, through to its untimely demise in 1991. They may have been young, their time together too short, but there can be no doubt that Revelation rocked harder than any other band of its generation, their cocks mowing their way through more groupie trim than a young Led Zeppelin. Here is their story.

1989

Bruce and DonkeySosa had been friends for over five years when they began sowing the seeds of the band Revelation in the summer of 1989. The two 14 year old reformed band geeks were on the eve of their entrance into high school, and Bruce had just gotten his first guitar as a gift. His years of honking away on the clarinet had prepared him well musically, and soon bar and power chords were bursting forth from the frets of Bruce’s shiny white Ibanez like red-hot erections.

It didn’t take long for DonkeySosa to realize that all of the beatings he had taken in elementary school for being in the chorus were about to pay off. In Bruce, he had found the perfect match for his golden set of pipes. The two spent day after day locked in Bruce’s clubhouse, feeling out their collaborative chemistry like Lennon/McCartney, Plant/Page, and Michaels/DeVille before them. A distinctive sound slowly began to form, a mix of bluesy swagger and rebellious angst with a dollop of sex-laden whipped cream on top.

The pair soon had three songs under their belts, songs whose gritty lyrics matched the punky blues of the music. First on the list was the aptly titled It’s all The Same to Me, an upbeat number with a hint of Guns N Rose’s It’s so Easy to it. The lyrics were refreshingly in your face:

Verse:

Here’s a Little Story I got to tell

So listen y’all far and wide

You think you’ve got it tough

And you’ve had about enough

And you’re about to kiss your life Goodbye

Well just look back on the mess my life is honey

I know you’ll be a’wonderin why

It’s all the same to me

Now payments on the house

Were due two months ago

Big ole car gas mileage is so low

Kids’ clothes are dirty

Secretary is flirty

Wonder should I kill myself or not

And when I look back on the mess my life is honey

You know I am a’wonderin why

Chorus:

It’s all the same to me

And I don’t care honey

That I ain’t got much money

It’s all the same to me

Verse:

Got laid off my job

My boss says hey you slob

You gotta find somewhere else to work

I got kicked outta my house

Got no place to live

I slit my wrists cuz I wanted to die

Now I’m in the hospital running up some more bills

This whole life thing is just one big lie

And I’ll tell you baby

Chorus

No one, and I mean NO ONE, was writing lyrics this mature and refreshing in 1989. The second song in the triumvirate was another fast paced rocker, this one with the subtle title of Ram it Down your Throat. Not since the early Stones had lyrics been this pulsatingly raw:

Sample Verse:

Oh Why do you treat me like this

I’m holding up to fire

Shooting my gun but I miss

But I’m wising up baby

No ignorance ain’t bliss

So quit your foolish games

Tired of this hit and miss

Bridge:

You better quit it baby

You better stop it Now

Cuz if you don’t stop it real soon

This is what I’ll do

Chorus:

I’m gonna ram it down your throat

And finally, rounding out the early set of Revelation songs was a slow, dirgy blues-metal piece that exploded into a lightning fast chorus. It was the duo’s first real growth as a songwriting team. The song: Poke Me, Choke Me, Set Me Free, with its unforgettable anthemic chorus:

Poke me choke me

Let me be

Poke me choke me

Set me free

If you’re not gonna fuck me

At least suck me

Poke me Choke me

Set me free

Now all they needed were band members. First to be added to the roster was a high schooler two years older than them who was a drummer in the High School marching band. His name was Jimmy, and he had the coolest flat-top mullet to ever have graced the world of Hair Metal. He also had a practice space at his parent’s house, and soon the three were honing their skills as a cohesive band.

Soon they added a bassist, Craig, a tall, slightly buck-toothed skater kid who’d lost half of one of his legs to cancer a couple years back. He sure could pound a bass though. And finally, rounding out the crew was Keith, one of the first African Americans ever to have played rhythm guitar in a Hair Band. His skills were nowhere near Bruce’s guitar wizardry, but his addition helped thicken the already rich tones of the band.

The newly formed, original Revelation lineup practiced and practiced, preparing for the inevitable time when they would take the stage and release their pent up energy like a thick load of hot baby batter. Towards the end of 1989, they were almost ready. And then someone walked into their lives that would change the band forever…