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Crappy Arguments

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/14/08 @ 6:11 am

I received a lot of e-mail in the last couple of days about the lady that stayed in her bathroom for two years. If you haven’t read the story here is one of the posts about it.

In one of the stories was a line that said something to the effect that they were a normal couple and had a normal relationship but it just happened to take place in a bathroom. If that isn’t creepy I don’t know what is. And honestly talk about a no win situation for the guy, imagine some of the arguments that took place.

Him: I’m going out with Billy Bob to get a beer.
Her: You ALWAYS go out, I’m so sick of it. I’m always home and you always find a way to leave.

What do you say to that? It is a no win argument.

Do you think they had two bathrooms? Imagine those possible debates.

Her: You pissed in the shower again! You know how I feel about that.
Him: Where else am I going to piss you are physically attached to the seat!
Her: I thought we agreed that is what the sink is for.

The whole experience has to just be miserable all the way around. Every single argument that would take place had to be completely idiotic on some level, which in my mind are the worst kind of arguments.

Speaking of no win arguments, the other day I was talking to someone that knows someone through a friend of a friend that is a hooker on craigslist. (that wasn’t all that convoluted was it?) The person I was talking to told me a story about how she got into an argument with the hooker while at a party her friend’s house, the final two lines of the argument went like this:

My Friend: Yeah um, but you are a hooker on craigslist.
Hooker: I bet you I make more money than you.

Where do you go in that argument? Personally I would come back with, “Yeah but I don’t have HIV.” I think that would be the capper on that one.

Wow I am all over the place today, I am ejecting from this blog while I still have my solid reputation untarnished. This is one of the days where the comments are going to be better than the blog…. so get to commenting all you lurkers that never comment.

What do you think about the women on the toilet seat? What are some crappy arguments you have been in?

This shouldn’t be going up on humor-blogs.com but it is anyways.

Filed in: News

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

27 Responses to “Crappy Arguments”

  1. pope john iii says:

    so does that mean for two years she didnt wipe her ass?

  2. Meghan says:

    I love how Authorities did not KNOW whether she was mentally ill…jury’s still out on that one.

    I like watching townies argue. It in variably ends in both parties saying “Go Fuck Ya Mutha!” That seems to be an adequate way of dissolving the conflict.

  3. fried bourbon ncoke says:

    The mind boggles as to what a normal relationship must mean to a guy who doesnt get access to between his significant others legs because they are atrophied together. I mean if he was married….
    I am also intrigued that the thing that came to mind for you was that he would have crappy arguments!
    Most arguments with women that seem to have no point are where you are meant to either A: have a loud screaming match in which you end up slamming the front door and come back with chocolates,flowers and grovelling later
    B:argue fruitlessly in circle for some time before giving up all reason and having make up sex.

    note flowers can be replaced with more expensive chocolate

    The pointless arguments aren’t for an obvious reason they are just for her to get you to bring out your “feelings” not to solve anything concrete which boggles the mind of most men looking to solve a “problem”.

  4. Meghan says:

    I’m not sure just how much arguing this woman did, either. She moved so little her ass got fused to a toilet seat. I’m thinking she isn’t much of a hellcat.

  5. Abby says:

    My friend and I discussed where the boyfriend would have (to put it bluntly) taken a shit if there wasn’t a second bathroom, we have come to the conclusion that the kitchen sink, assuming there was a garbage disposal, would be the only logical place.

  6. Ann Clemmons says:

    There is no way that relationship was normal, not that any are…but when I read that post I almost puked. I read that her skin was attached to the seat…

    The house had to have had two bathrooms…unless like you said he went in the sink because he knew they already “agreed that is what the sink is for.” (lol)

    It’s funny because I just wrote a post where I used the importance of two bathrooms as an example…for a most embarrassing moment. Can you imagine how embarrassed he was to have people over?

    His guest: “So how is your wife/girlfriend doing”

    Him: Well, I don’t know let me go in the bathroom and ask her.”

  7. You are fucking hysterical genius at work. Have a great weekend.

  8. Jess says:

    ahh yes once again my beloved state once again put on the map…. rednecks stuck to toilets and porn stores….. AHHHHH kansas

  9. Nicole says:

    She had to stink! Did he bathe her? I wonder why he didn’t call after the first, oh I don’t know, week or so?

  10. kate says:

    we all know something had to be wrong with her mentally. what the hell was she thinking the first night in the bathroom? did she have the toiletseat lid up or down?

  11. Matty says:

    That sounds like a Frat House Prank gone perfectly…the Crazy Glue on the seat and the perfect person fell for it.

  12. Jeremy says:

    All I know is if I was the officer responding to the call, and that crazy lady said she was fine, and didn’t want to leave, I’d leave her there. Why make her unhappy and unleash her new brand of crazy on the world? Now I gaurantee that pictures of her from my camera phone would be sold to the tabloids, bidding starts at $10,000.

  13. piebuko says:

    I read this article on the dailymail I think. The whole thing kind of struck me as totally weird. You gave a new twist to the stuck on the toilet seat scene. It became — well, hilarious! :)

  14. Patty says:

    “What do you think about the women on the “toilet seat”? What are some “crappy” arguments you have been in?”


  15. Angela says:

    Here’s something to think about…..if she sat on the shitter so long that her ass attached to it, then I’m thinking that the toilet hadn’t been cleaned in two years. EEWWWWWWW!!!!!

    …and since it was a trailer that they lived in then my guess would be no, they did not have two bathrooms.

  16. Amanda says:


  17. kingofbuffalo says:

    When she got thirsty did she just dip a long straw into the toilet and guzzle away? Every now and then just for “flavoring” she adds some yellow die#5….errrr….urine?

    Tastes like lemonade…..with piss in it.

  18. patrick says:

    sounds perfect to me no honey you stay in there.. I’ll just spend the next two years doing what ever the hell I want. just call me if you need anything

  19. Marty says:

    Yes I’m a lurker who never comments, but here in Australia I wake up to these postings after they’ve already been up for like 9 hours and everyone has already moved on with their lives, I guess you can say I’m behind the times.

  20. Sarah:) says:

    Perhaps ‘Crapper Arguments’ would have been a more suitable title?
    Either way :D Great blog.

  21. Christine says:

    “I don’t think anybody can make any sense out of it” – no shit! That observational quote is my favorite part of the article.

  22. Carolyn says:

    What I don’t get his how the neighbour says, “It really doesn’t surprise me. What suprises me is how long it took the boyfriend to call authorities”. Or something like that.
    Did he really just say it doesn’t surprise him that she sat on the toilet for 2 years?!

  23. Marcia says:

    This is all very interesting, but leads me to some questions. Sometimes I get to a good part book and have to leave off at a reasonable place. When I get there, my ass is asleep and my legs are numb. What did he feed her? How often did she flush? What if the toilet got plugged up? And last, but certainly not least, My old man said he cleaned her up and brought her clean clothes ever day; My question is WHY? Were they going to have company? Obviously they weren’t going out. Did he bring her clean underpants? And again WHY? Did she just wake up (yeah, right like you could sit up on the crapper and sleep all night) one day and say Honey I’m sort of tired of sitting on this crapper, could you go get the Crisco and a spatula, I’m sure we’re gonna need them. Was that the point he realized that all the nerves had been pinched off for so long that she had no feelings left in her legs. Did she grin and drool all the time? And did he have a harness on her, just for her safety, mind you, so she didn’t fall into one of those high quality trailer house walls?
    You always raise some interesting fodder for the brain! Thank you, and good night.

  24. Jinksy says:

    Mya ttempt at a rebuttal. I’m sorry if it sucks.

    Friend: Yeah um, but you are a hooker on craigslist.
    Hooker: I bet you I make more money than you.
    Friend: I bet you I don’t have crickets jumping out of my crotch.

    Ok, maybe it wasn’t that good a response.

  25. ettarose says:

    She only sat on the toilet for about a month she lived in the bathroom for two years. He brought her clothes and meals and she walked around and everything. She just did not want to leave the bathroom. My first question, warped as I am was how freakin big her hemorrhoids had to be!

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