Come on Elliot Spitzer, 5 Grand for a Hooker. Don’t You Know About Craigslist?
Man I am disappointed in Elliot Spitzer.
Is it because after his years of hard charging and taking down big companies for illegal activities he gets busted? Nope.
I am just shocked that he spent over 5 grand on a hooker. That is amazing to me.
Sure these aren’t typical crack whores we are talking about. He probably isn’t going to catch a STD and the girls look like models. Let me show you what I am talking about, this was taken from the Emperors Club site:
Alright so she doesn’t have chapped lips, a c-section scar, and she has all of her teeth but really five grand?
Elliot could have gone on craigslist and saved himself time and all this trouble. Plus he probably wouldn’t have gotten busted. Let’s compare what he spent his money on versus what was available right in the Albany area from Craigslist in the Erotic Service section.
First up… Chastity Rose… Chastity… right.
Chastity is taking appointments for like $200 bucks an hour. Sure her hair looks like something out of the eighties and her face looks like Buffalo Bill in “Silence of the Lambs” but he would have saved like $5,300 bucks. Versus paying for something like:
Come on, you can’t even see her face in that picture. Plus Skyler could be really fat, it is all in the angle she is sitting at. Also f you look in the corner she only got three diamonds, that is probably the equivalent to a craiglists hooker pulling a knife and telling the guy to hurry up while taking double her rate.
Next up we have Endless… “as in endless fun”… I wish I was making this shit up. Endless was running at about $180 an hour, plus she doesn’t “clock watch” and “knows how to please a man”.
Endless really needs to consider getting some vanity shots done or possibly even turning on a light. You know watch, scratch that… I don’t want to know how she got the name Endless… Endless as in “my endless penis that I have to tuck” or Endless as in “my Endless stomach”. Some mysterious are better left unsolved.
What is the deal with the Emperor’s Club hookers wearing jeans in their pictures? See Spitzer probably paid this girl at least three grand and really, she doesn’t have a good name like Endless. I don’t want to scream, “Julia, insert the fifth finger now”… It doesn’t sound fun.
And finally there is… Um… A place where you can get a holistic body massage from a sexy Asian… as well as an Adam’s apple. She/he didn’t really give a price and well I frankly have no idea what to guess on this one.
I have a feeling that this is probably the best Spitzer is going to be getting for awhile and if he does get charged and end up in prison this will be a top of the line bitch in there… Mr. Spitzer I could have saved your career with a discreet introduction to the world of craigslist…
Doesn’t everyone end up happy if he just goes to Craigslist?
Update: Pictures are starting to hit the web of the infamous “Kristen” here is one that I came across:
This is going up at humor-blogs.com
On 03/13/08 at 6:07 am
Steve said:
Did you see the pictures of the chick he did hook up with? She is average. I’ve banged way hotter chicks for free!
But I don’t look like a creep…..Ok…I don’t look that much like a creep.
On 03/13/08 at 7:12 am
Matty said:
Five large for her, eh? Maybe three..four tops.
On 03/13/08 at 8:16 am
That Guy said:
i used to live in amsterdam, spitzer could have goten way better for way less over there, government approved.
on another note, kevin, you need a proof reader for your blogs bud.
On 03/13/08 at 8:23 am
Kevin said:
Until it is a full time job I am not spending more than 15 minutes on a post.
On 03/13/08 at 8:22 am
Fiona said:
Maybe she has a mouth like a hoover?
On 03/13/08 at 8:23 am
Kevin said:
One would hope
On 03/13/08 at 8:26 am
em em said:
It’s really funny that they actually take the time to describe the girls’ personalities, because that’ll totally be the clincher when deciding which hooker to rent. Hahahaha.
On 03/13/08 at 8:40 am
Shieldmaiden96 said:
I didn’t know they had CATALOGS. Wow. That was an interesting read.
I’ve got dainty mannerisms. Nobody ever threw down five large. Of course, I have a great big ass. So I suppose its a tradeoff.
On 03/13/08 at 8:45 am
Duane said:
Did you notice the prison tattoo “Kristen” has on her right hand? That’s the clincher. Prison chicks are always hot.
On 03/13/08 at 9:05 am
leigh said:
chastity looks like nancy spungen. 70s smack whore is not a good look for everyone, but girl is working it.
On 03/13/08 at 9:27 am
Meghan said:
Oh, The Spitzers. They were on Harvard Mags cover as a ‘power couple’ some time ago. Yeesh…
And that gigantic ring on Kristen’s finger - it went missing up Eliot Spitzer’s ass last November.
On 03/13/08 at 9:29 am
pope john iii said:
well, since i now live in chicago, i called skylar and we are going out and i am going in this evening.
On 03/13/08 at 9:35 am
dave said:
Asian Massage? Looks more like it would be a fight to the death with that “Tu Wong Fu Margret Cho”.
On 03/13/08 at 9:44 am
Gabbi said:
Yeah, “Kristen” is some chick named Ashley and she has the #1 ranked blog on MS today….what if this all a political thing? To knock Hillary down a notch….it took her “Super Delegate” and it reminded us how stupid she looked when her hubby got the hummer in the “Oral Office” …yeah, this looks like the work of McBain! LOL
On 03/13/08 at 9:58 am
Jinksy said:
For five grand, her crotch better be dipped in gold and signing “God Bless America” while not missing abeat on what he’s really there for.
Considering the red light district in DC , for $40…well..that’s a whole different story.
On 03/13/08 at 9:59 am
kate said:
‘kristen’ looks like a jessica biel reject
On 03/13/08 at 10:09 am
Trice said:
Is the small “x” on the hand is that like “O” from the movies? I bet she has a strap on somewhere in her closet!
On 03/13/08 at 11:37 am
Meghan said:
The Lovely Kristen is also an R+B singer… I can’t wait…I guess this is an easier way to get promoted than battling it out on American Idol.
On 03/13/08 at 12:26 pm
PJ said:
“Open the door, Joel.”
On 03/13/08 at 2:12 pm
penny lane said:
your fascination and INTENSE knowledge of the craig’s list hooker selection is extremely scary. and funny. but more scary.
On 03/13/08 at 4:32 pm
Marcia said:
As always, you are a scream! I always leave with a smile on my face and I bet that’s more then Spitzer can say.
Keep em coming! ROFLOL
Cat Lady
On 03/13/08 at 6:08 pm
Mark said:
she is pretty hot, but for $5K? i dunno’. well, she is up for “things that, like, you might not think were safe”. that was “client 9’s” request anyway…
On 03/13/08 at 6:27 pm
conundrum said:
She seems like a lovely girl but $5K - no way.
On the other hand, how did jug ears Elliot get Mrs Elliot to stand by him in all these humiliating press events?
No way in hell would I have been there acting “supportive”.
On 03/13/08 at 6:36 pm
Rhonda said:
If you’re drunk and you squint your eyes at the dark pic of Endless, she just might start looking like Pamela Anderson…
On 03/13/08 at 7:02 pm
Static said:
Kristen in a candid shot at the end with her usual flash of fingers v-shaped meaning “vajayjay 4 $ale”…
On 03/13/08 at 10:55 pm
Igor The Troll said:
This is all the fault of Giuliani, he busted all the whorehouses in NYC, so now poor Spitzer has to shell out 5 grand and get caught in the process! This is all a republican conspiracy. Spitzer should plead social engineering by neocons!
On 03/14/08 at 9:02 am
Wendy said:
No lights for Endless. Endless is a man.
On 03/14/08 at 12:05 pm
Melissa said:
There are catalogues for rent-a-dates? Kevin, I’m hurt! I always hook you up with the bizarre and interesting like live action bicycle sex and the vagina couch. You couldn’t send me a catalogue?
On 03/16/08 at 7:11 pm
The Muse said:
I think you should add her to your friends on MySpace. ;^)
http://www.myspace.com/ashleyyoumans86