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Mar
12

Ginger vs Marry Ann, Angelina vs Jennifer, The Whore vs the Girl Next Door

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/12/08 @ 6:12 am

mary ann

If you haven’t heard Dawn Wells the actress that played Mary Ann was arrested for possession of marijuana. I guess we now know what was in the pies she made; it wasn’t just coconut or pineapple. With Mary Ann getting arrested it made me think about when I was growing up and the question for guys was who would you rather have Mary Ann or Ginger? The question for girls was, “which one are you”?

Ginger

Mary Ann symbolized the girl next door and Ginger the glamorous celebrity, both oozed some sort of sex appeal in their own right. And just to set the record straight, the correct answer was Mrs. Howell, she was loaded and as we all know money does buy happiness.

howell

For years this questioned has been analyzed by social scientists as being about symbolism, there were debates that it was the stay at home mom versus the career woman or even the virgin and the whore question. I think it is a bit much to break it down that much because honestly there really isn’t a correct answer on this. While guys say they want a Marry Ann to settle down with we are all masturbating to Gingers. And if you call a girl a Marry Ann it will probably cause a fight because every woman believes they have a glamorous and sexual side like Ginger.

Over the last five years this question has kind of become outdated and has been replaced by Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston. By the way did you hear that according to gossip magazines Jennifer Aniston had her eggs frozen because she can’t find a suitable man to knock her up? How great is that?

While I think this debate has kind of died because Jolie has become so involved internationally with charity, when Brad Pitt first left Aniston to start sliding it into Jolie this was a raging debate. Except this time the sex kitten was a little more defined as a man stealing slut that had freaky sex with older dudes and made out with her brother on the red carpet while having a vile of blood hanging around her neck. She was up against the chick that played Rachel on Friends.

Jolie

I think this debate though was a tad more vicious because for women Brad Pitt was involved and he was being stolen, so there was a more visceral hatred of Jolie when there really wasn’t a hatred for Ginger. Meanwhile Jolie made Ginger look like a stripper at one of those crappy strip clubs that you only go to when absolutely bombed, it is kind of the cheap one that usually has girls with stab wounds and c section scars. Guys saw Jolie as just the pure embodiment of sex and not missionary style we are talking about dirty girl sex.

Jennifer Anniston

Aniston though wasn’t a pure Mary Ann, people basically assumed Aniston was Rachel in real life. So she wasn’t a domestic goddess but an every girl. Rachel on Friends had some quirks, she had guy problems, she liked to shop, and she was funny. She was the embodiment of what a lot of girls view themselves as. The debate wasn’t just the whore versus virgin or the glamorous versus the girl next door for women now, it was “me” versus the slut that stole my boyfriend.

So which one are you or whom do you want?

mary ann and ginger

Mary Ann or Ginger?

Angelina or Jennifer?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

49 Responses to “Ginger vs Marry Ann, Angelina vs Jennifer, The Whore vs the Girl Next Door”

  1. Matty says:

    Bea Arthur.

    She was a choice wasn’t she? I forget.

  2. Meghan says:

    Is Ginger-Ann an option? Only bakes cookies (or pot brownies) if she has the munchies?…A big fan of adult stores and seasonal apple picking?? Pony rides and donkey punches…ok, this has gone too far!

  3. hunee says:

    Ummm….do I have to choose??? can I just say none of the above…hehehehe….

    Nice…so which one do you want?

  4. Angie says:

    I don’t have much to say on the ‘debate’, I think the question was made up by insecure ladies who want to mold themselves.

    Speaking of molding – Have you ever noticed Brad Pitt changes to match his current flame. It’s erie. If I had time, I’d make a montage.

    • Kevin says:

      He has gone to the dark side.

    • bex says:

      Angie! YES! Finally!! Someone else sees it, too! I blogged about this not too long ago. Brad TOTALLY matches his hair to whomever he’s dating. It’s weird…he’s like the ultimate accessory.

  5. cigar smoking beer drinking lawyer says:

    Ginger/Mary Ann- And THAT is why the professor never really tried to get off the island.

  6. Rickey’s an Angelina guy.

  7. kate says:

    mary-ann and angelina. angelina looks like she knows how to get down and dirty

  8. Fiona says:

    I am Fiona, something no of those women could ever be. :P Heh.

  9. penny lane says:

    anyone who says they would rather get it on with jen than angie is queer or stupid. i am straight, and i want to leave my guy for angie.

  10. bex says:

    Dude. This is totally easy. OK. The CORRECT answers:

    1. Mary Ann
    2. Angelina
    3. The girl next door WITH the whore.

    Duh! Next time try for a challenge, will ya??

  11. pope john iii says:

    i just want to get laid. beggars cant be choosers.

  12. Peety says:

    Funny article! Loved it.

  13. Trice says:

    Mrs. Howell! You can always have plastic surgery if you have enough money!

  14. Heart Shaped says:

    Ew. Angelina Jolie is tainted. Let’s try Megan Fox, shall we? She’s like a Mary Ann- Jolie in one, with better brows and lips!

  15. Jay says:

    Definitely Ginger and Angelina… both of them are the freaky freaks. Mary-ann and Jennifer are just quiet freaks. lol

    Jay
    DatMoney.com

  16. Brenda says:

    Can we choose Mary ann in the mug shot?

  17. Arjewtino says:

    Either my memory sucks or that isn’t Mary Ann in the top photo.

    • Melissa says:

      Yeah, that looks more like one of the chicks from Petticoat Junction. Oh yeah, that dated me. Since I’m admitting my ponderous age, I’d have to say I couldn’t really identify with any of them. Jolie needs a cunt punt, Anniston is annoying and the only way I’d be on Gilligan’s Island is if there was a love child of Ginger and the Professor – smart and sexy, but that doesn’t address my need to own WMDs. Vapid versus naive? Never happen.

    • Melissa says:

      http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1500682240/nm0920171

      That’s the original photo. There is a guy on ebay hocking ones allegedly of Mary Ann with the other woman and the same set.

  18. Patrick D. says:

    Angelina and Ginger, same time. Hell’s yeah. Can I get a whoop-whoop or something urban-sounding.

    Holla?

    Anyone?

  19. Sarahh812 says:

    It is common knowlege men want both. Ginger in bed and Mary Ann to make you a sammich afterwards.

    That is why holding women or men up to a standard one way or the other is futile.

    Butttttt, that being said, if I HAD to pick one, totally Ginger. I just don’t talk like Marilyn Monroe. Hey, we all can’t be perfect.

  20. Sophie says:

    Meh. I’d rather have Sting or John Mayer. LOL

  21. Dana says:

    Angelina. I mean, Jennifer has that sweet “she’ll be a great mom for my kids someday” appeal, but Angelina probably knows the right moves, the right words, the right lubes…Plus, she’s probably that VERY rare exception of a totally cool hot chick. the chicks that are hot aren’t cool enough to hang with the guys, drink beer or watch porn with you, and the cool ones are just ugly or fat. Angelina is a clear winner.

  22. Meghan says:

    I thinks it’s hysterical when women rip through a Naval Fleet of men, go 6 months without one and say they are Re-Virginized. The Virgin and the whore – that’s the answer. Someone with tons of tail behind her ready to take it all out on some guy who thinks she’s Virginal.

  23. Meghan says:

    And I never cared for Jolie bashed – Brad Pitt was the unhappily married man – his choice.

  24. NERDITA says:

    The question should be which one do we want to see wear the strap-on forcing the other to squeal like a pig?

  25. Karl Rove says:

    I gotta go with Mary-Ann.

  26. bethany says:

    I’ve always been a Mary Ann, but I’m not a Rachel, not really… or I could be wrong…

  27. PJ says:

    Some days my girlfriend is Ginger, and on others she’s Mary Ann. Don’t tell her though.

  28. Amanda says:

    My husband always thought Brad Pitt was the most stupid man in the world for leaving Jennifer, he thinks she is soooo hot (have you seen her naked in The Break-Up? Vince Vaughn was a lucky man!!!)….but he has always been into the “good girl” types.
    Angelina is the patron saint of bisexuality, definitely! I would love to suck on those lips…on her face ;)

    When it comes to Mary Ann, something about the outfits she wore, just slutty enough to show of her belly, but then would make pie for everyone. Long live Mary Ann.
    Ginger was beautiful, but unattainable. She knew she looked good!

  29. Jinksy says:

    How about Angie Anderston?

    Combine the sexiness of Angelina Jolie, with the body of Pamela Anderson and the sweetness of Jennifer Aniston.

    Can’t fail.

  30. Static says:

    I would do them all. In fact I have done them all… in my dreams.

  31. I always like Mrs. Bellows, Dr. Bellows wife on I Dream of Jeannie. A sensible woman with social grace and a wild side I am sure.

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