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I feel totally ripped off by charity

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/7/08 @ 6:52 am

Yesterday was a bit of a long day at work. The night before I went to the Celtics vs. Pistons game (thanks for the tickets M) and had a few drinks, so it was kind of a brutal/zombie like day. When I got home I noticed that I had a large envelope in my mailbox, which was a total surprise. It was unmarked so I was hoping that it was my monthly edition of   “Big Jugs” magazine but sadly it wasn’t.   In it was a thank you letter and some other goodies from a school that I had donated money to.

At Christmas time Google sent me a card with a donation gift card, which I could use it at donorschoice.org to fund various projects of my choice. I had totally forgotten that I used the card to fund an underfunded classroom outside of NYC that couldn’t supply the students with writing utensils and paper. I used the donor’s choice card and my own money to help in the funding of that project.

Along with the thank you letter from the teacher was documentation on how my money was spent, pictures of the kids writing, and hand written thank you letters from the children addressed to me. It was all really heartwarming and made gave me a little bit of a pick me up until I examined the letters that the students had written.

On one letter my last name wasn’t spelled right and there were spelling errors on some of the other letters. It had dawned on me that I had totally pissed away my money. If I would have known that they were going to use my donation money to send me letters with piss poor spelling than I would have gone elsewhere. It was the equivalent of donating money to an alcohol treatment center for the homeless and finding out that on the last day of their treatment they threw a party with an open bar.

I want to see results for my money damn it.

Investing in children is a bad way to go, it isn’t very safe. Let me put on my Jim Cramer hat for a second and explain this…

jim cramer

If I invested in an environmental or conservation project I can see results that are tangible, like 50 trees being planted or something like that. With children I don’t get to see the results for years and the failure rate is going to be pretty high. Today’s children are tomorrow’s people that I probably won’t like. If you follow that logic why would I donate money to people that I probably won’t like?

Great now I am depressed about all of this, I am going to go read these letters again to make myself feel better because I know how to spell my last name right.

Have you ever donated money and felt like you wasted it?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

29 Responses to “I feel totally ripped off by charity”

  1. Meghan says:

    Yikes! Don’t feel bad, and don’t stop investing in children!!! If they are cute and white they can you a ton of money on the black market ;)

  2. Meghan says:

    My first attempt at charity was me secretly calling Christian Children’s Fund at age 12 to do a ‘50 cents a day’ kid. The packet came, my parents half praised my kindness. But in the pic of the girl she had braces? My older brother’s best friend was like “How’d she get braces if she’s so fuckin’ poor?” I’ve been makin up for that moment ever since…

  3. Pj Suttle says:

    You’re correct, why donate your good hard earned monies to folks whom you don’t like or particulary care for (ie: the ‘future’ or current youths of today).

    Don’t get me wrong, I like children – OTHER’S PEOPLES children. They’re cetainly mi-T-y tastey when seared crispy on the outside and chewy in the center – liked seared tuna. KIDDING! But it sounded funny for the moment. Alas, the moment passed rather quickly.

    Le sigh…

  4. Fiona says:

    Every time I donate my time, energy and money to anything related to my daughter’s school or gymnastics school I feel gyped. Completely. The ungrateful fucks.

  5. “Today’s children are tomorrow’s people that I probably won’t like.”

    Its only 8:25am and my day is officially made with that.
    Hell, I don’t like them NOW.

  6. Matty says:

    I suggest you donate money next time to Help Hookers Out Of Respect (HHOOR). Who can’t use their services? And they are always grateful.

  7. bethany says:

    I think Matty has the right idea there..

  8. Nicole says:

    Just send your money to me……..I’ll be grateful.

  9. Atenea says:

    I work on food, well, preserving plants so they will produce more food. (YAY FOOD) The best thing my adviser ever said to me was “Food is wasted on children”.

  10. SweetNess! says:

    How do we know that you know how to spell your own last neam?

    • Chris says:

      Not to be an ass, but was the irony of typo on the spelling of “name” intentional?

  11. em em says:

    Ugh, when I go to McDonalds I leave change in the bucket that hangs outside the window. All this time I thought it was for people who needed help, but then I look at the sign for the first time the other day. Do you know I’m already paying for my food and now this cheap Ronald McDonald bastard wants me to donate change for his house too? He has more money than most other mascots and this fucking cheap-o is collecting my hard earned nickels to pay for his house! So sleazy.

  12. Samantha says:

    Do they know when to use “than” and when to use “then”?

  13. The poor are so disappointing. So are the elderly. And the “Third World” is just a big ol’ Nigerian scam. I only give to trusted organizations like “IKEA” and “EXXON.”

  14. Mandie says:

    Don’t read into it too much. How old were these kids anyway? Maybe the teacher should have proofread some of the letters first. But ultimatly, maybe you have inspired at least one child. You never know. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

  15. Oh Kevin, you never disappoint me. Even when the story begins with kindness and charity and you have my heart swelling…it ends up with me snorting pepsi through my nose. Thank you. Oh, and I agree with you…f*ck’em all, at least until they can spell your name right!

  16. Dee says:

    LOL they could probably spell their name right verbally but never had the chance to actually write it, since they couldn’t supply the material for handwriting. But you Kevin, helped supplied that. We still have adult our age who can’t even read. So be proud that you gave those kids a chance to be able to write. Because without writing, whats the point in spell check?

  17. Melissa says:

    “Today’s children are tomorrow’s people that I probably won’t like.” And this is why I adore you.

  18. Sophie says:

    I think all these comments on your blog are shining examples as to why you shouldn’t donate money to those children…

  19. Fried bourbon ncoke says:

    Have you thought maybe they were working off what you had written on your form? The inkling I have is that your handwriting might suck…

    • Kevin says:

      Are you kidding? I do everything over the web… My handwriting does blow though… but I am a printer because of that.

  20. Amy says:

    That was very sweet of you Kevin. :)

  21. mistaken says:

    Dearest Kevin
    Never stop believing that children can learn for some it may take longer than others. How do you know that those mispelled words were infact an improvement. My younger son at the age of 22 can’t spell as he writes yet he infact is a great writer and artist. He could keep a pocket dictionary but… hey. The problem here is he was born that way but showed signs of improvement over the years. Todays grown kids do not take the time to look up words and if they did who’s to say that they would forget the proper way to spell. In their minds they write what they hear so to speak. Sigh` I got catchin up to do again don’t I? ;D Peace/yfDeb

  22. Alejandro says:

    Mistaken, your son is an idiot, with 22 he should have read enough not to make mistakes.
    Kevin, the phrase that your are looking should be “Today’s needy children will be tomorrows unemployed”

  23. I have donated quite a chunk of change to Jesus and I am really starting to wonder if it’s worth it! I mean, I did get some good tacos and even better sticky imported “incense” from him in return, but I don’t think Jesus appreciates me as much as those illiterate little kids appreciate you. :(

  24. Ann Clemmons says:

    I knew you were going to surprise me again~ I never see it coming… I think you ought to get a red pen, correct the grammar, then send it back to them. After all didn’t you buy the materials?

    Hilarious post as usual~

    And don’t give up on the kids, odds are you would like at least half of them when they grow up~

    Oh, and ask the teacher to send you some money for red pencils. :) )


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