When Do I Tell A Date About Pointless Banter?
A couple of days ago I was talking to one of my friends on the phone about a girl that I had been on a couple of dates with. My friend asked, “Does she know about your blog?” That question kind of threw me off guard a bit, because the question was asked with a tone that would go with talking about venereal disease, a kid born out of wedlock, or a criminal record. I told my friend that I had brought up my blog a little bit when we were talking about hobbies and just told her I wrote a humor blog that was a little off color (or colour for you Canadians). However, I didn’t give her the website address or anything like that because I just didn’t feel comfortable yet.
My friend told me that I shouldn’t because she thinks that it is way to intimidating because I write about past girlfriends on here and the stories about them are so negative which could come off as me hating women. Which as we all know is far from the truth. I explained to my friend I don’t write about any of the positive stories because who wants to read that crap? If you as a reader came here one day and my blog post was about how I was in love or some lovey dovey crap about a date I went on you wouldn’t return, because it just isn’t funny or entertaining.
Why do I think that?
A) Nothing funny happens if everything goes right- Really who wants to read a story about going to dinner, a movie, making out in the theatre, and then reenacting scenes from pornos when we got home? There is no humor in it at all.
B) If I wrote weepy stories about ex-girlfriends and how much I liked them- It would be depressing and weak. But if I write about the bad things that happened there is entertainment value, be it my mess-ups or their mess-ups.
Even though I made my point and my friend said she understood, she still pointed out that all of this is a lot to take in and absorb. She also felt that this site has a little bit of a negative tone, although I am not a negative person. This bugged me a little bit but I can see what she was saying.
So I decided that maybe I need to change my tone a little bit, maybe I need to change my outlook on a few things. I kind of like this girl and the last thing I want to do is scare her off completely. By the end of the week I will probably give her the url to the site and let her see it, so I want to make sure that I give a good first impression with some quality, positive, and fun entries this week.
This week I am going to write a few entries that might deviate from the normal course of the blog, just as an experiment. Stick with me and we will see if this works, plus get her reaction on the whole thing.
So if you were me when would you tell a date about this website?
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On 03/3/08 at 6:45 am
Dobie said:
FIST! Ahahahahaha…. Anyway, good luck man. If it’s meant to be it’ll happen naturally. If not, it will make for some damn good reading, LOL!
On 03/3/08 at 6:48 am
Kevin said:
There really is no downside to this.
On 03/3/08 at 6:54 am
Dobie said:
Good point, good point! You may want to have her avoid reading any of the green booger girl chronicles or the KFC and Tossed Salad type of stuff… Just a tip!
On 03/3/08 at 7:02 am
Kevin said:
I thought the tossed salad story might be considered romantic.
On 03/3/08 at 6:59 am
bethany said:
“I kind of like this girl and the last thing I want to do is scare he off completely.” (freudian slip?)
I think you need to be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. I don’t think this blog is a lot to take in, and chances are, if she likes you enough to have been out with you a few times, then she’s seen shades of your perverse humour already and has already continued to decided to go out with you.
Most people get it that you’re making fun of situations, and I’ve seen you, at least from my perspective, make fun of yourself more than anyone else… Okay, okay, maybe at 60% you making fun of yourself to 40% you making fun of others… when it comes to dating.. but I don’t even see you blog that often on dating for it to be a factor..
On 03/3/08 at 7:04 am
Kevin said:
My love of the cock is caught by Bethany… thanks for pointing that out. Yeah I try to make myself the brunt of the jokes because if you can’t laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? Or something like that.
On 03/3/08 at 7:16 am
bethany said:
I employ that technique a lot with my height… ;oP
It doesn’t catch all the jokes, but it comes pretty close…
On 03/3/08 at 7:12 am
Dobie said:
I always find midgets fun to laugh at, but thats me. Seriously though, those little bastards are hilarious, not even gonna lie! Good point too, if the tossed salad story doesn’t win her over she isn’t worth it…
On 03/3/08 at 7:17 am
Meghan said:
Well..now you have a blog about whether she should know about the blog?? Assure her that if things go sour you will come up with some great descriptors for her, and never actually name names! And you aren’t negative…hell, at least you are paying attention to what’s going on in life and thats more than a good 75% of men out there!
On 03/3/08 at 11:35 am
Kevin said:
I am just thinking out loud with this one… I actually had a girl find my blog and it scared her off.
On 03/3/08 at 7:52 am
kate said:
if she likes you, the blog wouldnt and shouldnt matter to her.
On 03/3/08 at 8:02 am
Meghan said:
And the fact that this blog says you are into her will totally speak to the “girl” in her, putting the Tossed Salad story aside. Not really…but I’d be shocked if you weren’t into girls with a sense of humor/depravity.
On 03/3/08 at 11:37 am
Kevin said:
depravity is a top trait
On 03/3/08 at 8:25 am
Charlotte said:
What’s not to love about your blogs? (Except that whole 2 girls, 1 cup video one *cringe*) I say sit her down, with a hearty portion of mandarin oranges, and read a few of them together.
On 03/3/08 at 11:40 am
Kevin said:
Couples that read together stay together.
On 03/3/08 at 8:31 am
Gern said:
Man you crazy, not so much for what is already written (you cover that under a grandfather clause.) But for what you write in the future. If she’s reading it, you will be censuring it in your head. You might as well hire those two redheaded guys from “Good Morning Vietnam!” The quality will suffer and the direction will shift and Pointless Banter will turn into “kittens, sunrises and ponies.” Think of your fans man!
On 03/3/08 at 11:40 am
Kevin said:
Don’t I need to be censured a little?
On 03/3/08 at 8:39 am
Alex - My Trader's Journal said:
If you are using your real name here then she’s probably already Googled you and know’s how fucked up you (and your readers) are.
On 03/3/08 at 11:41 am
Kevin said:
When you google my full name only business things come up.
On 03/3/08 at 8:41 am
Kate said:
Tell her after you bang, but before you ask her to pose for the forthcoming article’s digital photos. Tell her not to worry, you’ll photoshop them.
On 03/3/08 at 11:47 am
Kevin said:
I like where you are going with this.
On 03/3/08 at 9:15 am
Matty said:
Are you afraid of her finding out about booger girl or something?
I’ll tell her if you don’t. She’s on craigslist, right? Is her name “Candi”?
On 03/3/08 at 11:48 am
Kevin said:
How did you know?
On 03/3/08 at 12:43 pm
Matty said:
It’s the CIA agent in me.
Besides, after reading your craigslist blogs I went ahead and did my own “research”. Scary shit, man. Thanks for the heads up.
On 03/3/08 at 9:18 am
Tits McGee said:
venereal disease, a kid born out of wedlock, or a criminal record.
Um, some of us do have children out of wedlock and we dont compare it to a criminal record or a veneral disease, how fucking ignorant.
On 03/3/08 at 11:52 am
Kevin said:
A tad sensitive today?
Springing that you have a kid from a previous relationship out of the blue is equal to any of those other things.
On 03/3/08 at 4:03 pm
Tits McGee said:
yeah, Im ovulating so Im not in the best mood but I have a child out of wedlock so fuck yerself, and since when is this springing it on her? You’ve been out with the girl what, twice? It’s not like you’re seriously dating her. Frankly, I dont even know why you’re fretting over something so petty. It’s not like you’re blogging on MySpace for all the world to see. Heh. I made a funny.
Oh, and fuck yerself!
On 03/3/08 at 4:35 pm
Kevin said:
The ovulation explains a lot… I am fretting because I actually had someone recently find my blog after we went on a few dates and decided to not hang out with me anymore…
On 03/4/08 at 10:18 am
Tits McGee said:
Ahhh. Okay, that’s understandable.
*drops an egg*
On 03/3/08 at 9:33 am
Alfred said:
your concerned friend must be cool… for the simple fact that she’s your friend… but that doesn’t make her right. don’t worry… would you really WANT a girl that’that’d react negatively to your blog? if she’s cool, then you shouldn’t have to explain anything or have anything to worry about… i wouldn’t say there’s a negative tone here. it’s self-deprecating HUMOR (or humour). even if it’s not exactly her cup of tea, she’d have to understand that…
On 03/3/08 at 11:53 am
Kevin said:
She is female of course she isn’t right.
On 03/3/08 at 9:37 am
em em said:
I think I’d wait a little longer, mostly because you’ve pretty recently talked about experimental dating and craigslist hookers, so she might think she is someone you are setting up to be a funny story. Also since one of your dating experiences answered questions on here before, it wouldn’t help your case if you actually do like the girl… just a thought.
On 03/3/08 at 11:58 am
Kevin said:
Yeah that might be a little rough.
On 03/3/08 at 9:44 am
tara said:
i would be happy that i was dating someone funny. thank god, there’s too many lame people out there
On 03/3/08 at 11:58 am
Kevin said:
someone funny… someone that writes about people they date is another issue.
On 03/3/08 at 10:08 am
Melissa said:
Most women use Google to look up guys they start dating, just to see if they “pop” in a good or bad way. She probably knows already and is waiting to see what you’ll say. Why hide it? Your blog is funny, doesn’t give real names, and more often than not, is self mocking.
On 03/3/08 at 11:59 am
Kevin said:
when you google my name only business stuff comes up… pb isn’t attached to me by name. If you dig you can find my book but that is about it.
On 03/3/08 at 10:12 am
Trista said:
A certain friend and business partner of mine is going through something similar. Except in her case he discovered it on his own. People DO google each other.
Tell her soon…otherwise she will google you, find THIS post, and think you are a chicken shit who cannot do things without having his readers hold his hand through it.
On 03/3/08 at 12:01 pm
Kevin said:
Aw come on you know better
On 03/3/08 at 10:16 am
Gabbi said:
My Boyfriend has been reading my blogs for over a year now and never comments so I wasn’t sure what he thought of them. The day I met his parents I heard him telling them and his 20+y/o sons that I wrote blogs.. He actually was bragging about it.
I think that she would be impressed with this shindig you’ve got going on. You have talent and for it to be wasted would be a turn-off. TELL HER!
On 03/3/08 at 12:02 pm
Kevin said:
impressed or totally scared shitless
On 03/3/08 at 12:27 pm
Gabbi said:
impressed….look how many read you and think you are great…is the girl from another planet that she isn’t going to love what so many already love? But don’t change your style just because you know she’s reading!
On 03/3/08 at 10:21 am
Mandygirl said:
Hmmm, understandable I suppose.
Try not to go too soft on us! : P
On 03/3/08 at 12:03 pm
Kevin said:
Oh come on now… how soft do you think I really will get?
On 03/3/08 at 10:26 am
Fiona said:
Surely if she likes you already she’d realize that this is mostly satire? Mayeb you under-estimate her?
On 03/3/08 at 12:03 pm
Kevin said:
Do I want to roll the dice with that though?
On 03/4/08 at 8:23 am
Fiona said:
Why not, surely she should like you for all of you, negative blogs and all? Why hide part of who you are from someone you like?
On 03/3/08 at 10:28 am
JiMoe said:
When you give her the URL be sure to record her reaction. It just might be funnier than others reactions to 2 girls 1 cup. haha jk
On 03/3/08 at 12:05 pm
Kevin said:
I do have a camera… hmmm
On 03/3/08 at 12:19 pm
JiMoe said:
lol Do it!
On 03/3/08 at 10:34 am
Nicole said:
I wouldn’t mind reading about dates of yours that actually went well…
And as people on here have already commented on, I agree that she probably has already Googled you and already knows.
On 03/3/08 at 12:07 pm
Kevin said:
Nah she didn’t find it… You want to hear about the good stuff? Come on
On 03/3/08 at 12:00 pm
Patty said:
I think you should tell her after you figure out if you really like her and she knows it. My husband is a writer and has a blog. I read into the things he wrote about. I was told about and read the blog before we decided to become an item. When he wrote about a crappy or a good day, I thought somehow it had something to do with me.
As our good friend Flava Flav would say, “Bitches is Crazy.” She will go back into archives and read EVERYTHING..whether she admits it or not.
On 03/3/08 at 12:09 pm
Kevin said:
Yeah that is what I am afraid of.
On 03/3/08 at 12:31 pm
Nicole said:
If she is not stupid all she has to do is google your name, click on the b5media link, see that you have a myspace page from there and then find your blog off of your page. I did it in 3 clicks. But like I said, “If she’s not stupid”.
On 03/3/08 at 1:21 pm
Kevin said:
I am hoping she is totally lazy
On 03/3/08 at 1:05 pm
country girl said:
eh, I’d tell her. One good thing about your relationship blogs (other than the humor of course) is they at least show you’re not pining over any of your exes….and personally, I think you’d want a girl who is able to understand your humor.
On 03/3/08 at 1:21 pm
Kevin said:
Yeah I need to set some standards
On 03/3/08 at 1:06 pm
Sarahh said:
Do you know how many people have probably googled you today because of this blog?
And since I am not one to be left out…
I found you, your myspace site, and PB all in one item 4 down on first search. But I am a google master.
I wouldn’t sweat it too much, (enter Cliche) if she digs you and you dig her, she won’t care. And if she can’t separate satire from real life, then perhaps you two aren’t very compatible.
On 03/3/08 at 1:20 pm
Kevin said:
If you just do my name and nothing else my linkedin profile comes up and my b5 profile.
On 03/3/08 at 2:10 pm
Sarahh said:
I told you I am google master. I just added one word. Poooooof.
Hell, that should be a good thing…
You google my name and I get a bunch of death certificates and something about waxing.
On 03/3/08 at 1:10 pm
bethany said:
OMG! I’m going to comment again, because you’re comments are driving me crazy and are hitting a bit too close to my own real life boy issues:
Tell the girl… Most people are understanding and are far more accepting than we give them credit for.
I swear, you men think we women over think things? Geeez.. I could negate that with all I’ve learned in two years..
If she doesn’t accept PB.net when you are honest with her about it, she isn’t worth keeping around… no matter how good the sex… errr… wait a minute… ;oP
On 03/3/08 at 1:22 pm
Kevin said:
Oh you and your boy issues.
Yeah rethink that last statement.
On 03/3/08 at 1:25 pm
bethany said:
You have no idea… we do need to talk soon..
On 03/3/08 at 1:28 pm
hands off the diet coke said:
After the divorce maybe it would be ok.
On 03/3/08 at 2:25 pm
Rickey Henderson said:
Just tell the wench that youre a sexually confused blogger with a predilection for memes. Chicks love that sort of thing!
On 03/3/08 at 2:25 pm
Meghan said:
And if you told her you wrote a humor blog, wouldn’t she ask to check it out??? I’m intrigued. Ooooh oooh! I got it:
You: So you are you enjoying the Celtics Game?
Part of ‘Lady’: Yeah, how’d you get the tickets?
You: One of my readers…You know that humor blog I briefly mentioned? They thought my writings on pudding, sex, wet dreams and hookers was thought provoking and refreshing. Popcorn?
On 03/3/08 at 2:51 pm
Karl Rove said:
Tell her at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Boston. You can both get really drunk, and maybe she just won’t care.
On 03/3/08 at 3:55 pm
supernik said:
I THINK THE BEST TIME WOULD BE ON THE FIRST DATE! you are a riot there would be no better way to get laid
On 03/3/08 at 8:22 pm
Lord Likely said:
I think that if this woman has already agreed to go out with you, then she must have an incredibly robust sense of humour and nothing here shall offend her!
On 03/4/08 at 3:10 am
alicia said:
It shouldn’t be a big deal to reveal your blog to her but on the other hand I can see how you’re afraid she’ll get turned off by it and stop dating you since you said somewhere on this page that it’s happened before. Im sure we all have certain fears based on things that have happened in our past. I can’t tell you what to do just go with the flow and listen to your gut. Anyone who doesn’t know this woman can’t really say how it would turn out.
On 03/4/08 at 6:22 am
hammy said:
Hmmm… Quite the contrary, mate…
You should tell your date upfront about the site. Let her read it and get to know you better. If she doesn’t get the humor, OR if she is the kind that misunderstands the way you frame your earlier relationships, then really… is she even right for you?
She’ll get to know the REAL YOU. Scary, but that’s the way to go. You’ll get more strike rates, but when things go well, it would REALLY go well…
So, on that context, I think you should just start off every date like that. Every first date, wear a T shirt that says “Interpret me at Pointlessbanter.net”. Have table musicians sing to you the words “Hola darling, let us wander… To find out more, visit pointless banter”, have cheesy cards with mushy messages, but follow it with a disclaimer saying “Affections in demo piece not part of actual package. For more clues, go to Pointless Banter”
Of course, some of your dates will scream like frightened jackrabbits and sprint from your date like their dress had caught fire, but THOSE people were not quite the right sort to begin with…
On 03/4/08 at 12:08 pm
Chandra said:
I think you should tell her. That way, you have nothing to hide. The girl should appreciate your honesty and humor…even when it’s bad. LOL, kidding.
♥ C.
On 03/4/08 at 12:43 pm
ali said:
just be your hiliarious self…I get giggly and happy when I read your blogs…she’d be a fool not to like it..
On 03/18/08 at 6:10 am
Rootzpoet said:
I have always found it funny that whenever a man relays a negative story about an ex-girlfriend (even if he is just stating actual events that took place) he is always seen
as bitter and having issues. Love this post.