I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog too!
It is no secret that I don’t like small dogs. Now when I say small dogs it isn’t like a beagle or dogs like that, I am talking about dogs that people carry with them as a personal accessory in Louis Vuitton bags or bring them wherever they go like a child. I don’t get how the rules of society go out the window when you have a small dog, like you can bring them anywhere just because they fit in a bag? They still bark, they still shit, the still piss, and people are still allergic to them but because you can toss them into a handbag you can bring it to a restaurant?
Well a victory was scored the other day for all of us small dog haters, of course two kids are going to need a massive amount of therapy for it which is a small price to pay.
My friend set me this story the other day: Snake Eats Family Dog as Kids Watch
Not only is there a story but they made sure to get a picture:
Here are my favorite parts of the story:
“It actively stalked the dog for a number of days,” Douglas said.
“The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog’s bed, which was a sign it was out to get it,” he added.
“They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it” after the dog had been killed, Douglas said.
By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.
The zoo manager, Todd Rose, said pythons squeeze their prey to death before swallowing it whole. The 5-year-old dog would have been suffocated within minutes.
“The lady who was there threw some plastic chairs at the snake, but you’ve got to remember that this is about 110 pounds of aggressive muscle,” Rose said.
I don’t know what I think is funnier the lady throwing plastic chairs at the snake thinking that it would do anything or the fact that the dog was actively stalked. One question I have is that if you see a huge ass snake around your yard, even sitting in your dog’s bed don’t you act with caution for a few days? You know like not letting your dog outside or your kids play in the backyard?
They should have called the Crocodile Hunter… whoops… my bad.
Well I am off to go play with my trouser snake.
How can anyone like small dogs?
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On 02/28/08 at 6:51 am
bethany said:
Could you fucking warn those of us that have a phobia of those slimy things before you post a picture?
I’m going to need therapy just by quickly scrolling down…
Now as for the people with this predicament. You know, my Godmother saw a huge snake coming right towards me and her children when I was about five. Being the youngest and the smallest, they ushered me inside first… and my Godmother killed it with a hoe. (Calm your dirty minds, please…) THEN, she went and investigated what kind it was… all I remember was that it was HUGE and black..
See, I knew I had smart people in my life..
On 02/28/08 at 1:21 pm
Kevin said:
Warn you? What fun is that?
On 02/28/08 at 1:52 pm
bethany said:
Meanie… ;oP
On 02/28/08 at 7:08 am
Meghan said:
Ahhh! That picture! I refuse to own a small dog. I had Newfs and Black Labs growing up. Ever know anyone that owned a ‘Papillon’? That’s French for butterfly, and ‘Meghan’ for dog with better hair than me that pisses itself every time I reach down to pet it.
On 02/28/08 at 1:22 pm
Kevin said:
The French… sheesh
On 02/28/08 at 7:12 am
Meghan said:
And “about 110 pounds of aggressive muscle”…Oh my! I haven’t even had my coffee yet.
On 02/28/08 at 9:07 am
Kevin said:
wasn’t that your date last night?
On 02/28/08 at 7:39 am
Amanda said:
Ew, that’s slightly creepy.
On 02/28/08 at 7:42 am
Matty said:
Plastic chairs stop aggression each and every time. Didn’t you know that? Snakes, bullies, Iraq invading Kuwait…
On 02/28/08 at 7:48 am
Meghan said:
I agree! This Country has a egregious Defense Budget that makes me so mad I could just spit. **pit-too**. Sometimes, a plastic chair or a well thrown shoe by the right Infidel is really all that is needed.
On 02/28/08 at 9:10 am
kate said:
plastic chairs, pink flamingos, and even a well thrown shoe are a whole lot better then what they are using now. and a helluva lot cheaper.
On 02/28/08 at 7:53 am
Fiona said:
Dumb people with dumb yappy dogs….. you would think it wouldn’t get close enough to get caught. Stupid dog.
On 02/28/08 at 1:22 pm
Kevin said:
Darwin at his best
On 02/28/08 at 8:15 am
Harry P said:
What the fuck is a a 16-foot python doing just strolling around and nobody paying any attention? A snake that size could have eaten the damn kids. Fuck the dog. Maybe, it’s an Australian thing but I can guarantee you if I ever saw a snake that big in my back yard, I would first shit myself, then I would call pest control or the closest neighborhood kid who loves def metal.
On 02/28/08 at 9:08 am
Kevin said:
It would have been 25% if it had gotten the kid
On 02/28/08 at 9:03 am
shannon said:
Dumb people! If I saw that bad boy hanging around um I think I would of called someone. Um hello. I don’t do small dogs. I have a white american bulldog. .. although I do think pugs are so fucking ugly that they are cute. But nah… that carrying dogs around in your purse is not me. I’m the tough dog type.
Um nice pic.. ugs.
On 02/28/08 at 1:24 pm
Kevin said:
Tough dog with massive medical problems?
On 02/28/08 at 9:12 am
kate said:
the kids were auditioning to be the next crocodile hunter…lol
seriously, we would have been eating bbq python that night when the snake was in the dog bed.
On 02/28/08 at 9:33 am
Wendy said:
It stalked the dog for days? Somebody and probably the dad, wanted that dog gone. Just sucks the kids had to see it.
I had a burmese python when I was a teenager. We fed it mice, hampters, rabbits and abandoned kittens we kept finding dumped around our house.
On 02/28/08 at 1:24 pm
Kevin said:
You know he kicked the dog out the door at night laughing his ass off
On 02/28/08 at 9:45 am
Mary said:
We live in the country and when a snake found its way up through the pipes and into one of the kids beds, I decided it was time for the eterminator. My mama didn’t raise no fool. Sometimes you wonder what the hell people are thinking (or if they do at all.) Woof.
On 02/28/08 at 1:26 pm
Kevin said:
yeah, knowing when to call in the professionals is important.
On 02/28/08 at 9:46 am
Vince said:
I am with you on the small dog hating. What is the point in having a dog if you have to do everything for it. My favorite thing to see though is these muscle head guys walking their girlfriends little dogs. They look so unhappy and it makes me laugh.
On 02/28/08 at 1:27 pm
Kevin said:
you know a little piece of them dies every time they get to asked to walk it
On 02/28/08 at 9:51 am
em em said:
If I saw a snake on the loose in or around my house I wouldn’t go back until it was gone and they’d have to show me pictures or videos to believe they actually got it. As for the dogs, I saw a guy in Home Depot the other day with a little dog under his arm, and a lady in Target with hers, and one in a small burger joint with another lady. I think it’s so uncouth to bring a dog into a store or restaraunt, I don’t have a problem with the dog, just a problem with people who think it’s appropriate to assume they can bring them everywhere.
On 02/28/08 at 1:28 pm
Kevin said:
it drives me nuts, like the rules have been rewritten just for them because they have a small dog.
On 02/28/08 at 10:11 am
Mandygirl said:
I watched this last night!
Bwahahahahaha, ok no it’s not that funny.
Yeah… it kinda is.
They KNEW it was coming for it, they could have called someone! DUMBASSES!
Hey, snakes gotta eat : p
On 02/28/08 at 1:29 pm
Kevin said:
Oh no… it is funny
On 02/28/08 at 10:29 am
PitChik said:
I like most small dogs, for dinner…ok jk. But in all seriousness, those people were stupid to let their dog or children in the backyard with a python back there. Geesh, that would be seein a tank barrellin down our street and look at my niece and say “ok munchkinbutt go play in the road!”
On 02/28/08 at 1:30 pm
Kevin said:
I would have kicked her right into the street… but that is just me
On 02/28/08 at 10:44 am
supernik said:
“The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog’s bed, which was a sign it was out to get it”
the only thing funnier is that the family wasnt worried about a huge ass snake in their yard, me, myself, noone in my house (kids included) would be leaving the house till the damn thing was dead and hanging from a garden hoe or a gun!
On 02/28/08 at 1:32 pm
Kevin said:
Yeah you know at some point you need to protect your family from deadly snakes
On 02/28/08 at 11:12 am
patrick said:
iam a little confused by this story was it their pet snake that ate their dog. or someone elsess snake
On 02/28/08 at 1:32 pm
Kevin said:
It is a wild snake
On 02/28/08 at 12:34 pm
lori said:
fuck those small dogs they are nothing but irritating ankle biters
my 2 snakes, crocodile and 2 pitbulls we have as pets
would eat those goddamned dogs for a snack
i saw that story about the snake eating the little dog
and said YES!
the dumbasses let the snake in the dogs bed? seriously? come on now our snakes are locked up behind glass where noone but someone with a key can get to them
our crocodile is in the same situation noone has access but us adults
and our pitbulls arent the vicious killers everyone thinks they are
On 02/28/08 at 1:33 pm
Kevin said:
no they are just semi vicious killers… I know someone with a pitbull they are fine dogs
On 02/28/08 at 1:43 pm
penny lane said:
you crack me up ~ i <3 u more than beer for making me laugh out loud at work… little dogs are stupid.
On 02/28/08 at 2:12 pm
Kevin said:
more than beer? I will take that
On 02/28/08 at 1:44 pm
Josh said:
This is epic shit.
I wonder what happened with the snake.
On 02/28/08 at 2:11 pm
Kevin said:
It ended up in the zoo and they are releasing it back into the wild
On 02/28/08 at 2:06 pm
sequoia said:
…
On 02/28/08 at 2:10 pm
Kevin said:
I have been waiting for you
On 02/28/08 at 3:38 pm
sequoia said:
you like my dog you asshole… and I only use the bag to get in girls pants. i don’t have a charming internet persona to woo girls… haha
On 02/28/08 at 6:48 pm
Kevin said:
You caught me
On 02/28/08 at 2:11 pm
Tori said:
Hey fuckface, I have a small dog. And you better believe that I would fucking murder anything that tried to hurt her. I’m not even kidding.
She doesn’t fit in my purse though. Not that I’ve tried. I just have a good sense of space.
On 02/28/08 at 2:15 pm
Kevin said:
come on your dog already has enough problems to be carried around in a purse
On 02/28/08 at 5:46 pm
Tori said:
Like what? (It’s so much more effective to glare at someone in person than to glare at their picture.)
On 02/28/08 at 6:48 pm
Kevin said:
well it has you as an owner for one
On 02/28/08 at 2:19 pm
Dana said:
As I do quite agree that “handbag dogs” are the stupidest thing since the oppposite of sliced bread, that made me die a little inside. But the bitch was dumb for not doing something when she saw a 110 lb snake chilling in her dogs bed. HER bad. But my soulless side did however laugh a little.
On 02/28/08 at 4:00 pm
Stephanie said:
How do you watch a snake stalk your dog for days and not flip out? LOL
On 02/28/08 at 4:21 pm
alicia said:
The guy is right, they should’ve called him sooner. But this just reminds me how much I hate my neighbors and their little bark-maggots. On second thought, these people are probably just a waste of good space, so good riddance I say. Now I’m off to get a big snake.
On 02/28/08 at 7:53 pm
Melissa said:
I got big and little dogs and trust me, my little dogs are so vicious I wouldn’t dare put them in a purse and haul them around. Be like sticking my hand into a roto-rooter. Dogs = Yard. Size doesn’t matter.
As for the snake, mo-fo be dead. I had a pet snake as a kid and my whiny male cousin screamed like a sissy and stomped it to death. I had it in a glass container on the floor while I cleaned its cage. But I’m pretty good about killing the poisonous ones around here, they kill barn cats. Grab the small ax from my fence mending case and “clop” snake be dead. 110-pound snake is my suze, what the blazes is wrong with these idiots?!?!
On 02/28/08 at 9:06 pm
patrick said:
snake-1, dog-0. not a fan of small dogs either, but there are some obvious pet compatibility issues here. this article is def going around the office tomorrow…right around lunchtime. thx kevin!
On 02/29/08 at 4:37 pm
dave said:
something tells me that little girl will end up in porn someday and the first story she tells on the Howard Stern show will be about watching her hairy little friend get destroyed by a huge snake…..oops….that was the story about her first time in the confessional with father joe
On 02/29/08 at 4:42 pm
Kevin said:
She’ll be swallowing just as well as the snake in 14 years.
On 03/3/08 at 10:05 am
Heart Shaped said:
OMG! If I saw a snake this freaking size in my yard, I wouldn’t let my dog go outside at all. Nuts! How the hell did a snake that large get there? Wow.