I May Have Just Hit Rock Bottom
I am sitting here writing this blog post in an empty bathtub, half naked, shivering… I may or may not have crapped myself. Why am I telling you this? I am fighting addiction, it isn’t pretty, it isn’t clean, and I can’t hide it anymore. Today I need your help in overcoming my problem, I can’t hide it anymore this problem is starting to consume me and I think I have hit rock bottom… No longer can I come here and post, be all smiley and happy. Dancing for you like some little trained monkey… This is the real side of Kevin, the dark side, and a side that you have never seen.
It is hard for me to admit this but I am addicted and I guess that is the first step you need to make in order to get back on the road to recovery. Yesterday I went grocery shopping to stock the “Boston Bachelor Pad” or the BBP with goodies, and like always I bought an inordinate amount of mandarin orange fruit cups. I was actually pissed off that the Stop and Shop didn’t have entire jars of these tasty fruits that Jesus made with his bare hands. When I got home I didn’t even unpack my groceries yet before I ripped one open and slammed it back like a shot, using my tongue to lick out rest of the oranges. After knocking that one back I decided it wasn’t good enough and I immediately had another in the same style.

What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t use a fork? I was that addicted that I needed my fix that quick? I dropped the empty cup to the ground and looked into the mirror in horror, telling myself how much I hated me and then smashed the mirror with my fist. It was that instance that I knew I had to kick this habit cold turkey and I locked myself in the bathroom with my laptop to make sure this happened.
My obsession with these little cups of joy started a few weeks back when I was sick and could hardly swallow anything. I started out with a couple of fruit cups a day and graduated to entire jars… Yes that is right, I would sit in front of the tv watching the news eating entire jars of these things. On the bright side I guess my chances for getting scurvy are remarkably low.
If I don’t kick this now how far will I sink? Will I be sitting outside stores offering to blow people for mandarin orange cups? Or will I be shifting through the garbage of local restaurants that serve mandarin orange salad?
I don’t want to be a trick turning, dumpster diving, mandarin orange addict. I think I need to go score some crack, that will set me straight.
Have you ever had a random food addiction?


















It could be worse. You could be addicted to Big Macs or something.
I eat a bag of sunflower seeds a night while I’m at work. I’m sure that it isn’t good for me, but I just can’t stop.
I love those mandarin orange fruit cups, too, but my food addiction is not that healthy.
I eat entire bags of chocolate chips in one sitting. Not chocolate chip cookies, just the chocolate chips. Pure, unadulterated semi-sweet chocolate. There is no better high than that.
Actually, what is interesting is that you CAN get scurvy. Your body gets so used to the massive amounts of Vitamin C, that if you stop eating that amount, your body reacts as if you are getting none, and you get scurvy.
Mandarin orange fruit cups? lol bwaa ha! ha! ha!
fucking funny as shit
Oh my Lord!
No wonder you are single!
Weirdly enough, i couldn’t stop drinking Red Rose English Breakfast Tea for a while.
This was negative given that it is highly caffinated, and a 100 pound person shouldn’t be drinking 3 pots of caffinated tea a day.
I was like a human hummingbird.