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If You Don’t Own a TV You Are Probably An A-Hole or Poor

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/28/08 @ 8:00 am

After years of trying to figure out who catches my ire the most I think I have come to a conclusion. I would like to extend a big middle finger and a loud “fuck you” to people that don’t own televisions, well except the Amish. The Amish never really did anything to piss me off so I am giving you a free pass, but other Mennonites you are still on my radar of hate but that is another debate for another day.

SupernannyAnyways, being in grad school I run into a lot of people that drop the reference that they don’t own a TV. When people announce that they don’t have a television in their home they act so morally and culturally superior that is drives me insane. Like I am a lesser person because you decide to sit at home and read War and Peace while listening to Ella Fitzgerald records. While I sit on the couch and watch Supernanny thinking to myself how I would totally do dirty things so Jo Jo would give me a stern talking to.

Screw you… you judgmental pricks. Sure you could say that maybe I am being a little judgmental in this case but I am not wrong, they are. Reading all the books in the world and not letting pop culture corrupt you doesn’t turn you into an alpha human being. In fact it is leading you down a path you never will be able to recover from. One of being an outsider in society, because when John references what the hell happened on Lost at the water cooler on Friday you will look like a total douche bag for saying you never heard of it. Even worse is if you breed you are automatically creating a family of total misfits. Sure your kid might score a 1600 on the SAT but they will be getting the shit kicked out of them everyday because they have no idea who Hannah Montana is. I hope you feel all morally and culturally superior when your daughter comes home in tears with TWAT (probably spelt incorrectly) written on her backpack because she said she didn’t know who the Jonas Brothers were and only listened to Bach.

Even worse than the tone these non-tv watchers speak in is their rant against television, that it is causing the moral and intellectual decline of this country. Like I have to sit there and feel bad about myself because I like to watch 75,000 hours of television a week. You know what, I’ve read Shakespeare and I would frankly rather watch an hour of the Wire than read that shit ever again. Don’t tell me that his work holds anymore water because it is a classic or that I can learn something about human nature. When you have a show with a gun totting, homosexual, scar faced, Robin Hood, sticking up drug dealers well that tops anything with people speaking in iambic pentameter.

So screw you non-tv watchers….

Am I the only one that feels this way?

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

74 Responses to “If You Don’t Own a TV You Are Probably An A-Hole or Poor”

  1. Dennis Teel says:

    the poster called Mel,has a point,but also strikes me as the kind of person that the author of the article is writing about.i have a friend that not only doesn’t have a tv but is well knowledged in history,american politics and the bible.he frequently ‘downs’ television to others.In fact just mention that you watched something on tv and he’s quick to indirectly point out that he’s superior to you or to people who DO watch tv. In fact this is how i found this article.I decided to google his attitude.he left a reply in my facebook when i merely mentioned i’d been watching tv and enjoying the snow here in dallas.a general facebook post.he posts a reply in response to my comment ,as such
    “i’d rather have tunnel vision than have a tv”.
    he will type something critiquing tv viewing whenver ANYONE mentions tv even in the most minor of ways,whether in a single statement or conversation.he IS one of those that believes himself to be superior to others regarding education and general smarts.i studied psychology for years …i still read and keep up with all of the current information and new findings,etc..i’m not uneducatd by any means.and i watch tv.i actually feel sorry for these people that seem to believe that people who watch tv are as though a flock of sheep who are foolsihly being hypnotized and decieved and their brains jellied to the max…this how this friend of mine would dscribe the average television watcher./a sheep..being led..jelly brain..

    i have no use for people who possess such pompous ,arrogant attitudes. i don’t render them any of my precious time.or maybe i’m just being pompous and arrogant.either way,im healthy and i’m always smiling.i noticed that it’s the avid readers that don’t have tv that also tend to be the typical conspiracy theorist. you know..those people that claim the U.S government flew the plane into the tower on 911,that there is NO global warming,yada yada yada…why? they have nothing else to do.they read.their outlet is to argue and debate because that’s the only thing a reader can do to associate with people …to socialise..people who watch tv can converse about programs and things they’ve seen or heard on tv..all book readers can do is what reading enables them to do in the area of socialising..debate..compare opinions…argue…etc…me??? i’d rather watch judge judy or judge roy brown.go read a book if you want to.i’m not going to sit here and argue with you.

  2. Dennis Teel says:

    correction to my last post=i meant to type judge ‘joe’ brown but instead typed jdge ‘roy’ brown..who’mever HE is.think i’ll google him to find out though/.maybe is name was hanging around way back in my psychie for some reason.omg i’m being pompous again,lol

  3. John Smith says:

    I don’t have a TV because it broke, but more importantly, I just got sick of all the shows I had been following getting axed due to poor ratings (Fox channel, anyone?) and there just isn’t anything that interests me on the tube anymore. It’s not about being “morally or intellectually superior”; I just can’t be bothered. Snobbery of any kind sucks.

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