The Green Booger Girl Chronicles Part 2
To read the first installment click here.
Blinded by teenage hormones and the constant self doubt of being a giant zit I continued to date the girl with the large chest who would later become the girl with the green booger. As the year began to go on the girl with the large chest and I continued our heavy make out sessions on the couch with the occasional breast feel mixed in for fun and good times, even back then I knew things weren’t progressing the way they should. The problem with winter was that large chest girl constantly had a cold, maybe it was her steady diet of chicken fingers and diet coke that lead to her ill health… I’m not too sure.
With her constant cold she almost always had a green booger in her nostril, it got to the point where it wasn’t worth telling her about. You can only tell another human being so many times to blow their nose before you are just wasting your words. At this point she stopped being the girl with the large chest and transformed into the green booger girl. Her green booger was a constant source of amazement and questions by my friends; in fact it got to the point where it was rather embarrassing. Still we stayed together, green booger or no green booger, I was spending a lot of time at her house because I was basically avoiding being at my own. Hell, they had a Super Nintendo, why would I ever want to go home?
As time went on my friends started to question the logic of staying with the green booger girl and they began to tell tales about her past before I moved back. Apparently she had a “friendship” with an older girl who was a senior when she was a sophomore in high school that included a lot of personal alone time. There may or may not have been fisting involved but there probably was some make out sessions. I chalked all this talk up to pointless high school rumors and continued on, the idea that I was a front for a lesbian relationship was the furthest thing from my oh so simple mind.
Now her friend, who we will call Fisting Frannie (name subject to copyright) was the daughter of a janitor at our school. She had graduated our high school and was playing either girls softball or basketball for the local community college. On a daily basis she or her mom slid notes into the green booger girl’s locker, this should have been kind of a red flag but I just figured they were friends. But when one applies logic to it friends are able to talk to each other on the phone, which these two weren’t allowed to do per the instructions of green booger girl’s parents. Weird? Yup. Was something going? Absolutely! Was I smart enough to figure it out? Nope.
On Valentine’s Day Fisting Frannie left a gift in the girl with the green booger’s locker, it was a watch and it wasn’t cheap. Said watch destroyed my meager gift but also woke we up to the fact that maybe there was something going on. We got into a fight about it and the lesbian love letters were denied, green booger girl just said they had a close friendship. She said it so I believed it, why would a green with a constant green booger in her nose be a liar? Besides I figured she would have a tell like most liars, like maybe the booger would dry up and fall out of her nose or something.
I began though to question the fact that we had dated close to seven months and my penis hadn’t made it out of my pants yet. At this time I was a virgin and knew things weren’t going to be rushed but as all my other friends began getting laid I had to start questioning the pace at how things were advancing and maybe that our dating was just a show. It was time that green booger girl and I had the sex talk.
Next time in the green booger girl series: “But I’m Catholic”
What things have you been slow to catch on about in a relationship?
This is going up at humor-blogs.com
Well i married a man hayting lezbo myself . Dsated for 6 years married for less then one. I have a picture of her kissing the bridesmaid on our wedding day and I ddint figure it out and I never got offered a threesome. look on my myspace pictures you can see the picture
I have seen that pic, the armed wrapped around the stomach was a dead giveaway
It’s hard to discern what is worse…a constant green nose goblin or doritos breath (middle school boyfriend of mine had it constantly *gag*).
LMAO @ the tomboy pic
Cool ranch or regular?
Did you actually kiss her with the booger in her nose?!
No I always made her blow… her nose
A-r-r-r-g-g-h-h! I hate having to wait for the next installment! You write really well Kevin.
Buy my book you will see that I write like total crap.
this pacing is bullshit.
I must know.
It would be the longest blog post ever if I wrote it all out.
well, i for one, would take the time out of my oh-so-busy day to read it…. just do it…
Amen!
You could’ve just licked that snot rocket out of her nostril. Problem solved.
It was bad enough I licked her crotch.
Did her cooter taste like Chicken Fingers and Diet Coke, too? Or was it funky slimy…like a green booger?
No need to answer that, my lunch came up a bit just thinking about it.
Oh dude! That was so gross and so funny! I laughed and farted. Thanks for more of the green booger girl. This installment went to a level I’m not sure I want to know the rest.
Cat Lady
It wasn’t until like, two weeks after slept with my first boyfriend that I realized I wasn’t going to see him again. He never called, hardly spoke to me when I called him, never replied to emails, was never on IM. That was slow to sink in. He was my first so I suppose I’ll use that as an excuse.
I had issues with boogers as well in high school, i got sick all the time and was constantly blowing my nose, till I met a boy at the public high school down the block(i went to an all girls catholic high school, leave your lesbian jokes at the door, actually I have stories if you want them for your blogs by all means ask me). So this boy that I so decided to date would ask to eat my boogers constantly, so I let him, needless to say, I NEVER EVER KISSED HIM. I don’t know why I even went out with him. It was crazy. He wore skirts and painted his nails and did drama, never though anything of it. 10 months later he broke up with me because “the vampires were after him.” Not once did I think that he had a mental issue…………talk about slow on the upkeep.
this is like last night while watching the moment of truth. the suspense is killing me
[...] most hated athletes #7 Tasty Celeb – Roxanne Pallett Short Skirt (site NSFW) Pointless Banter – The Green Booger Girl Chronicles Part 2 Bright Black Internet – Is Torrie Wilson The #1 Diva? Brahsome – Big Red Gets Locked Up CO-ED [...]
This reminds me of “salad dressing man” on Ally McBeal. I know why you kept dating this woman–it was the breasts.
Boogers alone should’ve been the red flag, lolll. Nasty!
Cath-o-lic girls start much too late! Rather laugh with the sinners, than die with the Saints – the sinners have much more fun…Only the good die young!
[...] most hated athletes #7 Tasty Celeb – Roxanne Pallett Short Skirt (site NSFW) Pointless Banter – The Green Booger Girl Chronicles Part 2 Bright Black Internet – Is Torrie Wilson The #1 Diva? Brahsome – Big Red Gets Locked Up CO-ED [...]
funny as always!!!what have I been slow to catch onto in a relationship?? probably that my husband is soooo unhappy with me that we have split up!!!!!
I love to deep kiss a boggers eating woman