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I Bought A Mac Because an Asian Girl Made Me

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/18/08 @ 7:49 am

Yesterday I was sitting in class and I came to the realization that unless I wanted to spend every waking minute of my life in the computer center for my department this semester, I needed to go out and buy a Mac with some design software. Now I am not going to sit here and talk about that I was a PC guy or shit like that because in all honesty nobody cares, and frankly neither do I. I just need something to get my crap done and not have to spend any more time on campus than I need to. I had my heart set on going into the Apple Store and saying I wanted to buy a Mac so I could be as cool, if not cooler than Justin Long. But my plans were thwarted when I got to the door.


When I went to the Apple Store last night after class I was greeted by a college age Asian girl. As I have stated before the ways of the Far East intrigues me as I have never visited… an Asian girl’s pants. I told her what I needed and she slyly smiled. She had crazy eye makeup on that was two different colors that distracted me from what was about to happen… me getting totally run over in the sales process.

Normally I am pretty good about not getting bowled over but I was at a heavy disadvantage: her hotness, the fact that she was Asian which means she automatically knows more about electronics than I do, the mystery of her sideways vagina, me hopped up on Dayquil and amoxicillin, and my lack of knowledge about the world of Apple. Add this all together and it was good night Irene. She probably could have sold me an actual physical apple as in the fruit last night for a few grand and I would have been like, “Oh yeah I see how this works.” Of course I would be saying that while drooling over her and hoping that she screams, “Me love you long time.”

asian girl dominance

By the end of the night I became the proud owner of a new Mac and a laser printer, why did I buy a printer? Because she told me to buy the laser printer, I had no real logical reason on why I did. I don’t even remember what the reason she gave me for buying it was because all I could think about was if she would sound like Chun Li from Street Fighter 2 if we had sex.

Ugh, I need a lobotomy and a bowl of oatmeal, wait I don’t even like oatmeal… I think that Asian girl was talking about oatmeal last night in an offshoot conversation while shopping. Ugh….


So um how do you turn these things on?

What have you purchased because you were talked into it or because your salesperson was hot?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

40 Responses to “I Bought A Mac Because an Asian Girl Made Me”

  1. MRT says:

    Some of us do care that you bought a Mac.

    Do you know what you bought?

    • Kevin says:

      Imac 20 inch screen, 2.4 dual core processor, 2gb of Ram, 320 GB Hard Drive

      It should run the software I need nicely… or at least I hope

  2. StanHayes says:

    Asian girl’s pants is the Far Southeast.

  3. Charlotte says:

    If she got you to buy the printer, too, I’d say you qualify as having had sex… Maybe she recognized your sock-scent from her uncle’s laundry?

  4. Aymie says:

    haha, Chun Li was my nickname for a while.
    I’ve never been completely suckered into anything, but here and there I have been known to drop a lot of money on a “sale” online, but the savings was never seen because I spent so much on express shipping because I wanted my shit NOW!
    The Asian girl probably would have won me over too. I’d wake up the next morning and realize that not only do I have a new notebook, but a scanner/printer/faxer combination as well. wtf do I need a fax machine for??

  5. Josh says:

    two things.

    1. How are you digging the mac?

    2. It would seem that Steve Jobs now stopped employing cashiers and is employing handlers.

  6. em em says:

    I have the opposite answer to your question. A long time ago in a far off land I used to work in a music store in a mall. I had a customer who would come into the store and follow me around for roughly two hours, he’d ask me ridiculous questions and to show him things for as long as he could before other customers would need help- awkward! Every time he came in he would buy like five or six things in the store, and then when I got off shift he would return them, it drove my boss nuts. The sad thing is, I thought I was just doing a good job until my boss told me what was going on and went off on the guy the next time he came in.

  7. She did you a favor. Also, I’m still working on a little G4 iBook, so I’m insanely jealous of your purchase. Have fun.

  8. Steve Jobs says:

    Grow some balls; loser.

  9. Jeremy says:

    I would eat a hand grenade if a hot asian girl told me to. The only thing hotter is a pretty Japanese woman with a british accent. The good accent not that gutter drawl from the north.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks for that judgement. You’re obviously from the South. No, America. Because you still think that the stuck-up, Cambridge, Queen’s English qualifies as “British”. Never mind Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. They don’t have their own accents. Obviously. And there are very few people in the North of England with a “gutter drawl”, as you so eloquently put it.

      Good luck with your life. You’ll need it if you continue to stereotype people.

  10. Isha or Aiyisha, whatever the f*ck u wanna call me. says:

    I’m brooding in jealousy that you have an iMac….in desperate need of a new computer.

  11. JiMoe says:

    “So um how do you turn these things on?” Do you mean the Hot Asian Girl or the Mac?

  12. mistakenone says:

    ok you got the pc and the printer but did you get her NUMBER??????

  13. Duane says:

    I got about six photocopiers and three fax machines from a salesperson who was hot^2. Her previous job was at a health club as an aerobics instructor. I remember taking her out in the plant once, and all of the guys stopped working. We were told she couldn’t go out in the plant again. Good times.

  14. scott says:

    I got suckered into marrying my wife nearly 18 yrs ago cause she WAS hot, and I’m still paying!!!

  15. sir jorge says:

    she better have been cute

  16. sporkgasm says:

    i totally want a mac also. but as i have slept with an asian girl, if there is one at the store i won’t be hoodwinked as were you.

  17. Matty says:

    Did you get any-ting you want?

  18. If you really don’t end up liking your mac, there’s a poor Mexican girl in California that could really use one.

  19. Lacey says:

    Mmmm Macs are great :) I think they’re easier to use, I think. Plus you can’t get viruses and shit as easy as you can on a PC. I have a MacBook.
    I went to Walmart after I got off work to get a charger for my iPod that will just blog in the wall, instead of the one that comes with it that goes in the USB port in my laptop, well this guy, who was REALLY good looking, talked me into getting a $30 box of stuff for my iPod. It had the ONE thing I wanted, plus 3 other things I don’t need. Then he tried to talk me into getting accessories for my new iPod, but I snapped out of it and realized I needed to go home, before he talked me into getting a big screen TV or some shit I can’t afford.

  20. [...] reason to root against the pats? Brahsome – Black Mountain: In the Future Pointless Banter – I Bought A Mac Because an Asian Girl Made Me Bright Black Internet – Escalator Madman Falls On His Face on 205th – Sly Stallone is almost as [...]

  21. Sophia Sturges says:

    Congrats on your new computer. You’re so bad. I heard a joke the other day that you can read with an Asian accent. I can tell it because I’m Asian. A Korean man says to his wife, “I rub you. You rub me?”

  22. What’s more weird is that Drew Barrymore is dating the Mac Guy… It was on the NY Daily News…

    I don’t know if it’s a marketing strategy but when I went to go buy my MacBook; the cashier was one of cutest guy I have laid eyes on in awhile. I actually got flustered and I rarely get flustered by a good looking guy. (Of course this was when my boyfriend was only a roommate) Too bad he totally ignored me. At least he didn’t try to get me buy anything more. Like Mark, I am insanely jealous of your new purchase. Enjoy it :)

    p.s. left you a message on Facebook..

  23. cio cio san says:

    that is so funny. As an asian girl born in Canada, I sometimes get annoyed when I hear a guy likes me if they’ve only talked to me for like half a minute, or especially if we’ve never talked at all. I mean I get that you would come up to someone you’re attracted to looks-wise, but then I wonder if they just have an asian fetish. A girl I know was trying to set me up with her brother who apparently liked me for 2 years, when we had never even spoken until a few months ago!

    i thought i was paranoid, but apparently I’m not.. :P oh well

  24. angela says:

    Just like a Capricorn….. and happy b-day to you! You need to move to Cali if you like Asian girls.

  25. Valerie says:

    I was talked into buying the car that I now have and can’t really afford. That is so unlike me. But it did it.

  26. penny lane says:

    me love you long time…. i also love that the google ads at the bottom of your blog are about hot asian chicks looking for dates. classic~

  27. [...] reason to root against the pats? Brahsome – Black Mountain: In the Future Pointless Banter – I Bought A Mac Because an Asian Girl Made Me Bright Black Internet – Escalator Madman Falls On His Face on 205th – Sly Stallone is almost as [...]

  28. adam says:

    Will: You like apples?

    Clark: Yeah.

    Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

  29. The Comish (sic) says:

    I was about to go on a cruise and needed some sunglasses. I went to the store, bought some, and was on my way out. I was almost to the door when I saw — this is no exaggeration — one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen in my life. I realized I probably had no chance, but I just had to stop to talk to her. She was selling sunglasses. So despite the fact that I had just bought a pair of sunglasses, I spent $100 on a 2nd pair of sunglasses.

    I’m a moron. (But I’ve still got the sunglasses.)

  30. meiguoren says:

    I could imagine no better reason to buy a computer than a hot Asian girl.

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