Yesterday I was sitting in class and I came to the realization that unless I wanted to spend every waking minute of my life in the computer center for my department this semester, I needed to go out and buy a Mac with some design software. Now I am not going to sit here and talk about that I was a PC guy or shit like that because in all honesty nobody cares, and frankly neither do I. I just need something to get my crap done and not have to spend any more time on campus than I need to. I had my heart set on going into the Apple Store and saying I wanted to buy a Mac so I could be as cool, if not cooler than Justin Long. But my plans were thwarted when I got to the door.
When I went to the Apple Store last night after class I was greeted by a college age Asian girl. As I have stated before the ways of the Far East intrigues me as I have never visited… an Asian girl’s pants. I told her what I needed and she slyly smiled. She had crazy eye makeup on that was two different colors that distracted me from what was about to happen… me getting totally run over in the sales process.
Normally I am pretty good about not getting bowled over but I was at a heavy disadvantage: her hotness, the fact that she was Asian which means she automatically knows more about electronics than I do, the mystery of her sideways vagina, me hopped up on Dayquil and amoxicillin, and my lack of knowledge about the world of Apple. Add this all together and it was good night Irene. She probably could have sold me an actual physical apple as in the fruit last night for a few grand and I would have been like, “Oh yeah I see how this works.” Of course I would be saying that while drooling over her and hoping that she screams, “Me love you long time.”
By the end of the night I became the proud owner of a new Mac and a laser printer, why did I buy a printer? Because she told me to buy the laser printer, I had no real logical reason on why I did. I don’t even remember what the reason she gave me for buying it was because all I could think about was if she would sound like Chun Li from Street Fighter 2 if we had sex.
Ugh, I need a lobotomy and a bowl of oatmeal, wait I don’t even like oatmeal… I think that Asian girl was talking about oatmeal last night in an offshoot conversation while shopping. Ugh….
So um how do you turn these things on?
What have you purchased because you were talked into it or because your salesperson was hot?