Random Thoughts While Traveling

-I have more personal electronics on me that a 12 year old Asian kid. It is pretty sad.

-When I was waiting for my return flight home I was the only white guy in the waiting area, everyone else was Asian, for the first time in my entire life I could honestly say I had the biggest penis in the room. Wow two Asian jokes right off the bat… wtf?

-Why do people feel that their personal problem outweighs an entire line? When I was in line to check my bags and get my boarding pass there was a woman that cut to the front of the line to bitch about something. Nobody in the front of the line said anything about getting her narrow ass to the back of the line and wait like everyone else. She took up ten minutes of three attendants’ times and really pissed me off. I was too far away to be heard so I had to swallow my tongue. What could have been so important that it outranked the other fifty people in line? I hope she gets genital warts.

-Is ‘Vibe Magazine’ like ‘People’ for the hip hop set? There are tons of pictures, the articles bend around the pictures and are really short. Most of the time the pictures just have blurbs and there is no article. The guy next to me on the flight from ATL to LA was reading it for four hours. How is that even possible? Can you be that bored that you stretch our reading a Vibe for four hours? I can’t imagine taking more than fifteen minutes to read ‘People’, actually I just can’t imagine reading ‘People’ at all.

‘I love the ‘smoker caves’ in the Atlanta airport. It is like a whole different world in those “lounges”. I just like walking by them and seeing the haze in the air and the misery of the people’s faces all so they can get their nicotine fix.

-On my flight from ATL to LA, they paged to see if a nurse or doctor was on board the plane. There was a nurse on the flight and she went to the back of the plane to check on a guy that spilt coffee on his leg and burnt himself in the process. When we landed they actually had the paramedics waiting for him. We had to wait for the paramedics to come on board and walk him off the plane. I don’t even have a joke here; I was just amazed at the situation and felt like I needed to share it.

-I am amazed on how long the boarding process takes because of the sheer stupidity of people. I had one flight that actually didn’t leave on time because of how long it took people to board the flight. There were two instances where people took the seats of other passengers that caused massive controversy. One guy took someone else’s seat to sit next to his special needs child, which is understandable. The Yuppie lady whose seat he had taken had a meltdown. In normal circumstances I would understand but the kid obviously couldn’t sit alone, this is where you just swallow your pride and find out where his original seat is and take it. Of course this didn’t happen and five minutes of squabbling went on before the air waitress came over and took control. Immediately after that, one lady didn’t want her middle seat and decided to ask everyone that walked by to switch seats. This slowed down the boarding process to a crawl, as she didn’t just ask them she basically argued with them. Finally the guy sitting next to me that was reading his ‘Vibe Magazine’ spoke up and said, “Bitch, just take your seat. You’re fucking it up for the ress’ of us.” There were a few catcalls and applause after he said that, she initially had a look of shock on her face and then just shut her trap and sat down. That now ranks as one of the top five moments in my entire life. He was like my hero until he took up too much leg space which resulted in a space grab when he went to the bathroom, I had to hold my piss for the entire flight because I didn’t want to give back the space I gained while he was in the bathroom.

What holiday travel observations did you make this year?

This is being cross posted at humor-blogs.com