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Ok We Need To Come To An Agreement On This

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/27/07 @ 6:53 am

Often times in life we come to a crossroads where we aren’t sure what path to take. When you reach this point you need to reach out to your friends and have them help guide you. Today I have reached one of these crossroads and I am reaching out to the fine people that read this crap to help determine my choice.

What is the dilemma I am facing?

Is it a career choice? Relationship advice? School issues?

Nope, none of these.

I need your help to determine if I like Justin Timberlake or not.


Usually I can come to snap judgment about a celebrity and be fine with it. However with Timberlake I can’t get a read on him. Sure I will go an entire lifetime with buying on his albums as I can take or leave his music but he just seems like a halfway decent dude.

Sometimes I see him and think that he is a really cool dude. Ultra smooth with a major pimp hand, he seems like he has his shit together and can be a model for hipness for years to come. Then there are other times when I look at him and think that he is just the chorus dork that got popular all of a sudden. I’ve seen him interviewed and couldn’t get the thought out of my mind that he is the biggest geek on the face of the earth.

I asked my friend Amy what she thought about Justin. She replied, “I would suffocate him to death by sitting on his face. He is so damn sexy.” This statement confuses me. Is this a ringing endorsement or a secret death wish for Timberlake?

With each positive thing you can say out JT there is a negative.

Positive: Slept with some of the hottest women on the face of the earth.

Negative: Was in a boy band.

Positive: Starred in the SNL Short ‘Dick in a Box‘.

Negative: Starred in ‘Alpha Dog’ which was god awful.

Positive: He made “Cry Me A River” which was an pretty public slam on his former girlfriend Britney Spears.

Negative: He dated Britney for years, which means he actually had to talk to her… how smart can he be?

It is impossible to figure out this guy…

So I am asking you the fine readers of my blog to help develop our stance on Justin Timberlake, make your case for or against him….

This is going up at humor-blogs.com

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

16 Responses to “Ok We Need To Come To An Agreement On This”

  1. newscoma says:

    I dig some of his music, but as for the face-sitting, I’m not so sure.
    He looks 5-years-old. I’d be afraid I’d get arrested.
    His step-dad is from my locale and apparently he will go out and eat at the family restaurant here, which I find to be oddly charming.
    And then he looks skeletal to me.
    I think your stance should be blind apathy.

  2. Dorion Rose says:

    Hi, love your blog, you one funny dude.

    A few things to consider about Justin Timberlake.
    1. Middle name: Randall
    2. Owns many restaurants.
    3. Owns his own line of clothes.
    4. His bites are very often fatal.
    However, antivenin, when applied in time, reduces the death rate to less than 4%.

    Wait, that last one was for Timber-Rattler, forget that.

  3. kate says:

    i wanted to fuck justin silly when i first saw him on the mickey mouse club.

  4. Angela says:

    When Justin was about 10 years old he entered a local beauty contest in his hometown of Memphis, TN. He was the only boy in the contest.

    He won.

    I don’t know if this is a positive or negative. I’ll let you decide on that. You might be able to find a clip of that on Youtube.

    And for the record, the only reason I know this is because my younger cousin’s were all into the boy band shit. After I had to take my little sisters to a New Kids On The Block concert I swore to never listen to them again!!!!

  5. Nick says:

    Although Dick in a box is a timeless gem and gives JT +3 points in my book there is nothing short of genocide that is worse than being in a boy band. The boy band factor brings the total points down to a cool -97. JT can never bounce back from that; it is a part of him. You can’t look at him and look past it. It’s like looking at a former junkie, even if they cleaned up you still see the junkie in them.

  6. ABC Chick says:

    Well, he can dance but since I’m not a good dancer that’s a strike against him right there. He’s never turned me on. I don’t know what this power is he has over women. He reminds me of a little brother type, definitely not a guy I could sex. Not sexy.

  7. maria says:

    He also dated Cameron Diaz, who is completely insane.

  8. randi says:

    Justin was dating Britney when she was at least on the verge of pure with a rockin’ hot bod. I highly doubt they spent much time talking.
    I think JT is a pimp but he acts like a bitch sometimes. He’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

  9. Fletch says:

    Positive: He was not only featured in the bizarre-terrible-awesome Southland Tales, but in it he is involved in a long musical interlude in which he lip-synchs to one of The Killers few good songs (“All These Things That I’ve Done” or whatever it’s called). In the end, I think this works in his favor.

  10. amy says:

    i think your pal amy know her stuff. just sayin.

  11. jimmy! says:

    At this life changing point in your life, I think it’s important to consider that Justin Timberlake sounds like a girl and acts like a wigger.

  12. Katie says:

    I love him. Point blank. And his music is pretty good as far as mindless pop is concerned. It’s got a good beat and I can bug out to it.

  13. Connie says:

    Ha! He is a sell out. Put him on the “sucks” list. Along with Britney.

  14. Marcia says:

    I think Justin Timberlake is a song whore. He’ll sing with anyone, and I do mean anyone, that might strenghten his career. He’s kind of like catching a 2 ounce perch when you have a lure for large moth bass.

  15. penny lane says:

    love him, love him, love him. he was a kid when he dated britney. as for him singing with anyone, i think everyone wants to sing with him, as it will be a hit, not matter what. the kid can dance his ass off, and that is always sexy…

  16. Erin Happycamper says:

    …and he DID do the “dick in the box” skit w/ SNL. I got props for him right there.

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