The 12 Days of Donkmas – She’s Making Her List
Day 7 – She’s Making Her List
Some people are impossible to buy for at Christmas time; you have no idea what to buy them, and they’re no help, telling you “Oh don’t get me anything” when you know damn well that’s a load of BS. Not so Mrs. Donk. She has no problem spelling it right the hell out for you. She makes encyclopedic Christmas lists, complete with clothes sizes, shoe sizes, colors, the works. She even includes SCREENSHOTS of the items that she wants taken from the store’s web site. No, I am not bullshitting you.
As you can see, Mrs. Donk is serious about her lists
On one level this is outstanding. I mean, I don’t have to put any thought at all into what I’m going to get her. But on another level, it sucks just about all of the fun and sense of surprise out of Christmas. This is especially the case since she can’t seem to leave well enough alone and will pester me endlessly to make sure I am “buying off of her list.”
Sample conversation:
Mrs. Donk: Oh my God those shoes are on sale that were on my list. Are you gonna get them? If not tell me because I’ll go get them while they’re on sale.
Me: I’m not going to tell you what I’m getting you for Christmas.
Mrs. Donk: But they’re on sale. You better get them. I swear if you don’t get them I’m going to be so upset.
Me: Will someone please shoot me in the face?
It’s like living with a small child with OCD and a hairy vagina. But it’s all worth it in the end when I see the look of joy on her face as she opens her gifts and sees that she got what she wanted. It’s all worth it, that is, until the next day, when she returns or exchanges them all.
