Raising kids isn’t easy. There isn’t a book that covers everything, nor is there a course you can take. I don’t have any kids… well that I know of. There could be some kid with a head that is disproportionate to the rest of his body somewhere in Upstate NY that has an odd fascination with poop jokes and the word bukkake.
Anyways, sometimes you screw up raising a kid and you just have to chalk it up to maybe not knowing what you are completely doing.
Sure you do the best you can to help your totally fucked up child out, maybe send them to rehab or what have you. Sometimes you just need to cut your losses and look at your next child and not make the same mistakes you did in raising your first.
Well congratulations to Lynne Spears, mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn… Not only did she give us the biggest train wreck in America next to Courtney Love but it was just announced the other day that her 16 year old daughter is pregnant. Teenage pregnancy happens, I am not some moralist that is going to preach at people that get knocked up when they are in their teens, I don’t recommend it but shit happens. However when you have one of the most fucked up kids on the planet keeping the other one from knocking out a child before they are 18 should be easy, you just have to repeat one simple phrase, “look at your sister.”
Jamie Lynn: Mom I am going out on a date tonight.
Lynne: Look at your sister….
Jamie Lynn: Damn you are right Mom, maybe I should join a convent.
Jamie Lynn: Mom I got invited to this big party tonight, there are going to be a lot of Hollywood people there.
Lynne: Look at your sister…
Jamie Lynn: Wow, good point, I think I am going to stay home and have some chocolate milk instead.
Jamie Lynn: Momma, I don’t feel like no book learnin’ tonight.
Lynne: Look at your sister…
Jamie Lynn: Hand me that copy of Darwin.
Sure maybe I am expecting a lot from a white trash family from Louisiana that hit the lottery when their daughter got onto the Mickey Mouse Club. Then they decided after their cash cow Britney got out of their clutches that they needed to put her sister through the wringer to eek out a living, good move. It isn’t like Lynne has to work. In fact her only responsibility with a kid on a Disney show is as follows:
-Don’t get them caught in a drug controversy
-Don’t let nude pictures leak out onto the net, no matter what age.
-Don’t let them get knocked up.
Feeding, clothing, sheltering, and teaching them is all handled by Disney, how can you screw up the one of the only three tasks you have to do?
So Lynn Spears, congratulations you have won the award for Celebrity Mother of the Year.
Have fun helping your daughter raise her child… actually better yet you should probably stay very far away.
Is this another reason why dumb people shouldn’t breed?
P.S.- I just found out the father of her child is 19 and they have been dating for awhile. So he started nailing her when she was like what 14 or 15? Lynne was apparently supportive of the relationship, way to go Lynne.
(The contest results: Yesterday I ran a contest, regular hooker or trannie hooker, the correct answers are: they are all trannies. There are multiple people that gave the correct answer, I am going to be doing a tie breaker for them tomorrow.)
This is going up at humor-blogs.com