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Being Forced to Change

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/17/07 @ 8:01 am

As human beings we are pretty slow to change things in our lives unless we are forced to do it. A lifelong smoker might not quit until he has a massive heart attack and his doctor tells him to. Or the male whore might not stop sleeping with random women until he gets a case of the clap. Whatever it is usually we don’t make changes in our lives unless we are forced to or if we go through something traumatic.

In my early twenties I was living in a house with two of my friends, at the time I had a steady girlfriend who spent the night at my place often. She liked the sex, a lot… So we would spend most of our time in my room having it. Because I was living with friends at the time she couldn’t just parade around my house naked, so the whole post sex drainage thing was a slight issue. We improvised and started to use “the cum towel” which was just a bathroom towel selected that week to be her dumping station.

Now the problem is my room was a constant mess, at that point in my life I would just throw things around my room. Instead of having the philosophy of everything has a place and everything in it’s place, I believed that everything could be thrown on the dresser or the floor. One morning before I went to work we had a little roll in the hay, she used the “cum towel” and chucked it into the closet. I got up to get into the shower and went to my closet to grab a towel. Most of the time I would have a towel hanging on the closet door but it had fallen into my closet so I grabbed one off the floor.

I took my standard ten minute shower, relaxing and thinking about the day ahead of me. Taking a shower for me is what gets me going in the morning, I feel like after I take one I am a whole different person and ready to start my day. After I finished the shower I reached out to the toilet and grab the towel I had so carefully placed there. I began to dry myself off but I felt that I was rubbing something onto my body. I looked down at my stomach and saw a mixture of bodily fluids on my stomach, yes I had grabbed the cum towel and rubbed the remnants of the cum towel all over my body.

From that day forward I made sure that I put all my clothes away and kept everything separated in my closet. It was a life changing experience.

This is going up at Humor-blogs.com

Filed in: My Life, Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

35 Responses to “Being Forced to Change”

  1. Douleur says:

    oh gees…too much for me this morning.

    I’m not one for using towels…just easier to walk to the bathroom.

  2. Beth says:

    I think I threw up a little in my mouth! LOL! But then I started laughing! That was some funny shit! Sorry you had to use “the towel”. But you made me laugh very early in the morning!

  3. Jamie says:

    When I saw the title of your blog I was scared. I thought you were going to change your fantastic style of writing and I was prepared for disappointment.

    But now I’m happy and glad I just washed my towels :)

    Do you like it when the girl gets a warm washcloth and cleans you up afterwards? I always do. I don’t like waking up sticky and it makes it more personal than running to the bathroom wrapped up in a sheet, like in the movies. Kinda sexy.

    Like you. wink.

  4. DR.B says:

    Your hair must have really looked good that day, kinda like ” Something about Mary”.

  5. Tenacious D says:

    I think I just threw up in my mouth!

  6. Brett Summers says:

    I feel itchy. Good job with that.

  7. Aaron says:

    Not going to lie, as I was eating my buttered toast for breakfast and reading your blog. I started feeling sick. Good Job.

  8. Isha says:

    Thanks to you I now am gonna put cumrag in my vocabulary….thanks a bunch!

  9. Deb says:

    lololol…i laughed all the way to the shower. great stuff early in the morning. but then i had to look at my towel before i dried off.

  10. Fiona says:

    That’s hilarious. It was yours man, all yours, why be so grossed out? All the same, that was too funny.

    I’m with Jamie up above, I had a guy who did the washcloth bit…. *sigh*

    • Jamie says:

      I actually do it for the guy most of the time. you know they get in that sex haze where they just fall asleep.
      Or want a sandwich.

  11. Trice says:

    Once my boyfriend’s roommate’s girlfriend was just leaving the bathroom from… She got mixed up and crawled into our bed, we almost had a three way that night!
    See what your girlfriend denied your roomates.

  12. Matty says:

    I don’t know which is worse. Drying off with the jizz towel or one with shit stains on it.

  13. Diesel says:

    As soon as I read the words “cum towel,” I knew where this was headed, but I couldn’t look away, like a train wreck.

  14. LoneStarBrit says:

    So, what you’re actually saying here is that your Mum could’ve made you clean your room at a much younger age by forcing you to wear the cum socks from under your bed.

  15. debbie says:

    Dude the girl shoulda been taught to fetch and swallow

  16. punxxi says:

    yanno, if she would been a swallower you’d never have had that problem…

  17. punxxi says:

    no wait that was me nevermind

  18. gale says:

    hahaha..this was a truly entertaining post. and the lesson was great, i need to get a-cleaning myself! blog strong, and keep in touch on the blogosphere!

  19. Pablo says:

    That’s disgusting. You keep the towel on top of the toilet???

  20. Terri says:

    this made me smile and laugh and throw up a tiny bit but hey at least it was your cum …..

  21. Cherie says:

    You do know how to paint a picture.

    Thank you for the vivid images.. ;)

  22. Another Government Employee says:

    DUDE! You should have used this for Alicia’s Group Blog Experience. I think everyone would have screamed.

  23. Dani Leg says:

    I had a Mighty Mouse t-shirt that got washed regularly and still put back on cum-duty.

    Mighty Mouse is really there to save the day, yo.

    <3 Dani Leg

  24. Sexual T-Rex says:

    So I take it your not a fan of snowballs either?

  25. Eureka says:

    I moved home one summer in college and began sleeping with someone I should not have been sleeping with. Because of this we had sex in my car a lot causing what was once my gym hand towel to become our cum towel. I thought my mother was unaware of what was going on. That I, the boss’s 21 year old daughter, was sleeping with my 36 year old supervisor, amongst other solid reason’s why I should have kept my legs together. Apparently she knew what was going on because one day when we were cleaning the house she said, “hand me the cum towel,” and when I looked over it was the same towel.

  26. Nat Turner says:

    Wow…that was powerful. You are a comedic genius, I love your writing style…and I look forward to working with you in the future.

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