The 12 Days of Donkmas – The Spoiled Friend
Day 4 – The Spoiled Friend
My very best friend growing up was an only child. He was a great guy, but one thing always got on my nerves, something that he really had no control over but made my blood boil nonetheless: his parents spoiled the hell out of him. This would happen all year round. For example, one summer we both got into baseball cards. I saved up for like a month and bought an entire box of wax-packs. The next day, his dad had bought him the complete set of every brand for that year.
It was at its worst at Christmas time, however. It got to where I almost dreaded calling him that day, because I knew I would just end up feeling shitty about my lack of loot. And rightly so. Here are some examples that I remember distinctly from my youth.
My loot: An Insecticon and a Dinobot
His loot: Shockwave, Megatron, that huge plane called Jet Fire, Optimus Prime, a 2 foot tall Voltron that separated into all 5 of the lions.
My loot: A GI Joe Arctic cruiser, 2 GI Joe figures
His loot: The GI Joe hydrofoil, GI Joe mechanized remote control tank, 10 GI Joe figures
My loot: An old wooden shoe
His loot: A bucket of gold, some real estate in the Hamptons, a rolex watch, a platinum grill, and his own Columbian cocaine cartel to run
My Gift
His Gift
I guess all of this was supposed to help me “build character,” or some such bullshit, but it was Christmas damnit! But I dealt with it the way any other kid my age would have: I spent the night at his house for what seemed like 10 consecutive days every year after Christmas. His toys became OUR toys, and we ran around his house at all hours, shouting and making explosion noises. So in the end I guess his parents got what they deserved.
