"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Paris Hilton is Looking for a “Nice Boy”

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/12/07 @ 11:55 am

This story is from Yahoo News

paris hiltonParis Hilton is looking for a boyfriend and knows exactly what qualities Mr. Right should possess.

“Right now I’m single but I am looking for a nice boy,” she told reporters in Berlin on Wednesday. “He should be funny, smart and loyal.”

The celebrity heiress, author, singer, perfume designer and reality TV star was in the German capital to take part in an advertising campaign for Rich Prosecco – a sparkling wine that is to be sold in cans.

Hilton said she was planning to visit one of Berlin’s Christmas markets, the city’s famous museums and had already been partying at Berlin’s trendy Cookies club.

Hilton, wearing a black glittering dress and a golden chain and cross around her neck, also told reporters that she is making an effort to personally contribute to protecting the environment.

“I changed all the light bulbs to energy safe light bulbs and I’m buying a hybrid car right now,” Hilton said, adding she also turned off the lights at home, didn’t leave the TV on or the water running when she left the home.

“Little things that people can do every day to make a huge difference.”


Funny- check

Smart- check

Loyal- check

I think it is time to make some magic happen. My dream of donkey punching Paris Hilton on video tape is within reach now. And now it gets to be done in environmentally safe lightly, which is always a plus.

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

26 Responses to “Paris Hilton is Looking for a “Nice Boy””

  1. That Guy says:

    if paris hilton went to iraq, carbombs would dissappear.
    the terrorists wouldnt want to do us the favor of accidentally killing her.

  2. JiMoe says:

    She said “nice boy”

  3. kate says:

    by funny smart and loyal she means someone that has ties to the police so when she decided to drive drunk again she can get off.

  4. Evil Poptart says:

    You should really really believe her now.. you know, since doing hard time has changed her and all.

  5. James says:

    you might actually be what she needs. How many times have the rich and beautiful failed her? Kevin Palmer would change everything.

    What would you do if suddenly you dating her makes her a better person? She develops talent and stuff. Im just going to stop here. Im not ready for a world that has a talented Paris Hilton.

  6. trisha says:

    For once in my life I am struck absolutely speechless.

  7. Fiona says:

    Are you sure about the smart?

  8. B-man says:

    What does Paris Hilton consider smart? If you juggle in front of her, she’ll think you are genius on a Hawking-esque level.

  9. Pablo says:

    I look good on nightvision, I’m beyond reproach, and with all of this broad’s money I could change the world.

  10. lori says:

    im thinking a dirty sanchez is more of paris’ thing if she had to smell her shit and realize it actually does stink like the rest of us peons..oh wait i forgot she doesnt have a brain thats what should be at the top of her list for santa this year

  11. James says:

    Paris sure does know how to party.

  12. jamie says:

    but are you recyclable and environmentally-friendly, Kev? (meaning do you eat fruit to make your man juice taste good?)

  13. Cigar smoking beer drinking lawyer says:

    “Hilton, wearing a black glittering dress and a golden chain and cross around her neck, also told reporters that she is making an effort to personally contribute to protecting the environment.”

    here is an idea for you Paris- stop breathing, you are a waste of perfectly good air.

  14. country girl says:

    Here’s to making your dreams come true *raises glass* give her an extra punch for me…;-)

  15. Em Em says:

    Can you imagine the poor mother who has to let her son date that chlamydia trap? Hard to imagine actually feeling pity for the poor wives of those greek shipping billionaires, but I do, because they might end up with her for a daughter in law. Tragic.

  16. I thought donkey punching had always been environment friendly…

  17. LoneStarBrit says:

    More proof that money cannot buy class

  18. Oh gawd… Paris Hilton going green is like Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize… Oh wait.. that actually did happen. Suddenly I feel cheapened by the word “green” Damn you Paris, you twat.

  19. katie says:

    am I the only one that read that?

    A sparkling wine thats sold in cans?

    I really have nothing to say. Like beer cans or canned food cans.. either way its a bad decision. Some things should just stayed bottled.

  20. MySpace Text says:

    Lots of nice boys out there Paris…just pick the best one!

  21. Kali says:

    Smart, Funny, loyal and someone who drinks sparkling wine from a can.

  22. hammy says:

    Donkey punch, eh?

    Tell me how it goes…

    So you hate Paris Hilton. Who doesn’t. If she had half a brain, she’d hate herself too…

© 2007 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound