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Random Thoughts: Popcorn, Bad Business Ideas, Jennifer Love Hewitt

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/5/07 @ 9:32 am


I would like to consider myself an intelligent person. I have a pretty good understanding of a lot of different disciplines, well except grammar and English… but they are so overrated.

One thing I have never been able to figure out is Microwave Popcorn. I don’t mean from like a “how does it work” point of view. I can’t figure it out because I can never pop a bag right. I follow the instructions, I adjust, I listen for the bag to stop popping or to have the three second in between pops… the bag still is burnt. So I change it up and under pop, then the bag is like 3/4 full, I feel like I am not getting my popcorn on in the correct fashion. I feel gypped and then get pissed that I can’t pop a bag of popcorn right. In fact I am swearing off microwave popcorn for the rest of my life. I have four bags at my house does anyone want them?

Bad Business Idea: Number 1

My friend and I always talked about opening a strip club near Alfred, which has a technical junior college where the guy ratio is like 17,000,000 to 1. We figured that we would have the market cornered down there. I wanted to call it “the vag” so we could make t-shirts that said: I entered the vag….

We were really drunk when talking about it.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat?

I am sure most of you have heard the hubbub about the Tmz.com photo that was posted about Jennifer Love Hewitt.


She claims that it was from a bad angle, even if it was I wouldn’t say that she is fat. But the whole body image thing isn’t what fascinates me about all of this. The thing that nobody talks about is the Wilmer Valdarama curse.

I think this completes his path of destruction of every young starlet in Hollywood.

Ashlee Simpson- The whole SNL problem

Lohan- I don’t think it needs to be said.

JLH- The whole fat picture controversy

Wilmer is has officially fallen into the category of pure evil. I wish my cock caused a path of destruction like that.

It’s time to pull the ejection cord on this blog.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: fat or normal?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

31 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Popcorn, Bad Business Ideas, Jennifer Love Hewitt”

  1. says:

    Her figure looks like Marilyn Monroe! Nothing wrong with that. Tiny waists like that make up for a lot.

    I’ve found with microwave popcorn, if you have a shitty, small microwave, it will burn. Usually 2 min, 19 seconds work.

    ANy tshirt with “vag” on it can’t be a bad thing..

  2. says:

    I have noticed that JLH has gotten herself bedonky-donk…but I think it is awesome. Too many sticks running around in Hollywood.

    Oh…the show you are talking about in your video blog is “Pushing Daisies”.

  3. says:

    if size 2 is fat then size 9 is a huge. either you have a p.o.s. microwave or you use a cheap brand of popcorn.

  4. says:

    Like I tell my friend Eric — with the microwave popcorn you must choose. Quality or Quantity. You can’t have both. I learned to prefer burned popcorn.

  5. says:

    I don’t think the pictures of JLH are flattering but I have also seen what a bad picture angle or bad moment can do. I’d trade bodies with her still.

  6. says:

    Lmao on the popcorn deal….A lot of the problem is in the microwave itself. JiffypopJiffypop is fun to watch!

    T&A Bar named VAG hmmm is that short for vagina? lol I used to bartend and dance in the H/A clubhouse. Man was that fun. (minus the shooting scene) :}

    Jennifer looks great just the way she is. Some of these actors and models are way too skinny. If it weren’t for the studio makeover…they’d be sickly looking.

  7. says:

    Perfect bag of popcorn: 3 min and 4 sec.

  8. says:

    This is definitely random but I will say this… I think the strip club is a fabulous idea and if you can’t pop popcorn I think we are going to have issues during our marriage.

  9. says:

    I find it interesting that nobody was suggesting she was heavy when her tits were popping out all over the place, but now that she has exposed her ass, it’s as if she should have a blow hole on her back and Jonah in her mouth! (Wait! That didn’t come out right!)

    My point is that you can’t win in Hollywood. Either you’re as thin as the media requires (and are then the focus of some sort of eating disorder scandal) or you have a sandwich and are relegated to becoming a Jennie Craig spokesperson.


  10. says:

    I think JLH is normal. Not fat. She’s got curves. Big hips, small waist. It’s harder for her to get into “perfect” shape anyways. But she looks great and NORMAL.

    As for microwave popcorn, I have the same problem you do. It’s a good thing I hate it in the first place and try not to eat it whenever possible.

  11. says:

    I have a 1100 watt microwave and the perfect bag is popped at 1 min. 52 seconds.

  12. says:

    Screw the microwave, it’s only good for SpagghettiO’s. Get youself an air popper, best popcorn, no hassle, and you can’t give yourself a tumor by staring at it while it’s on.
    Is it wrong that the glass fell out of my microwave but it still runs?

  13. says:

    A 3/4 bag isn’t bad, much better then getting a full burnt bag.

  14. says:

    I believe The Vag is a very cool name for a strip club, but how about The Naked One:)
    Microwave popcorn is like someone said on top, you can have quantity and quality, it must be one or the other.
    And JLH looks like my wife in that picture, so i guess she looks great:P

  15. says:

    The only thing worrying me is that I can’t decide (in that photo) whether it is JLH or Dana Carvey’s face photoshopped onto her body.

  16. says:

    I have issues with popcorn too. If I try to make it at work it burns. All we have are commercial grade high-powered microwaves there and it seems like one single second too long will ruin it. I can never get it right so I gave up. Home I have the opposite problem. My microwave is so old it takes the whole five minutes to pop a bag and even then it’s only 3/4 full. Whatever…

    JLH~ She’s certainly not fat, but she’s definitely got some child-bearing hips. My husband thinks she’s hot. I don’t see it, but to each his own.

    I dig the name…The Vag. I’m all for funny names on businesses. You could come up with some great advertising slogans with that name on a strip club.

  17. says:

    JLH fat? No freaking way.

    I’ll put up some coin for you to get The Vag off the dime. So long as I get the first t-shirt that says, “I entered the Vag…and I wasn’t sloppy seconds…”

  18. says:

    I’d like to point out.
    If your hipbones are sticking out.
    You’re not exactly obese.
    I mean after all, John Mayer DID write Your Body is a Wonderland about her…

    She’s gorgeous and anyone who says differently needs to be shot.

  19. says:

    If you look at the other picture where she’s turning around, there’s definititely evidence of a large badonkadonk. Not that there’s anything wrong with that–Rickey digs the fat bottomed girl.

    That having been said, Jennifer Love Hewitt is quite possibly the most worthless actress of her generation. Do not debate Rickey on this.

  20. says:

    I just found your site and love it. Good stuff!

  21. says:

    [...] Random Thoughts from Pointless Banter [...]

  22. says:

    does she have celulite on her belly? i thought that was sposed to be on old ladies’ asses?! but she’s not fat. living with hail damage, yes. fat, no.

  23. says:

    Here’s teh weird thing about microwavable popcorn. Where it shows the nutritional info, it shows it, popped, and UNPOPPED!! Who the heck is eating unpopped popcorn?!?

    (btw – that’s part of my act)

    rock on,


  24. DJ Inphinity says:

    though she has cellulite she still got curves…

  25. R Vaughan says:

    No, I don’t think that JLH has destructed…She never
    had traditional “Hollywood” bad habits….but her dating
    is fraught with mistakes.

    Mistakes which get worse when she has a hit show.

    And if she’d not gotten to this point those “bikini”
    photos wouldn’t have stirred up controversy.

    Don’t compare this actress with popcorn. How idiotic!

  26. Hilary Mews says:

    I love Jennifer Love Hewitt and from what I read women really admire her. Also Men adore her. Another great article on your blog!

  27. says:

    I only buy the quality shit

  28. says:

    I want it all

  29. says:

    Thanks… Everyone is chiming in with the Pushing Daisies… I got it now… And I wouldn’t kick JLH out of bed.

  30. says:

    So 2:19 is the lucky numbers eh?

  31. says:

    Holy shit! She does look like Dana in this pic! I had to look again and I saw it instantly!!

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