Sex With Inanmiate Objects
I love the fact that various people send me articles that they come across while surfing around the interweb. One of my friends sent me this one a couple of weeks back, which I have been sitting on: Man who had sex with bicycle sentenced.
To give you a brief rundown on what occurred, Robert Stewart a 51 one year old male was staying at Aberley House Hostel. One morning the cleaners knocked on his door repeatedly finally opening it to see Mr. Stewart naked from the waist down having sex with a bicycle. The cleaners went and told the hotel manager who informed the police. Stewart was eventually sentenced to three years of probation and placed on the sexual offenders list for sexual breach of the peace.
There are just so many questions that this story raises and honestly I don’t know if we will ever get the answers. First of all, how is it physically possible to have sex with a bike. In looking at this picture can you explain to me where one would put their man meat?
The mechanics of this are just mind boggling, I don’t even think someone from NASA could figure this out, or maybe I should be talking to someone from Vivid, whatever.
In the world of bike bangers is it wrong to look at a bike like this and get aroused?
Does that make you extra creepy if you consider using the tassels on the handle bar to tie your nuts up or something?
I just don’t get how someone goes from using a device or an object at home and gets the thought in their head, “you know I probably could have sex with this.” But maybe that makes them like a sex genius or something. “Give Bob any object and he can tell you how to fuck it.”
After reading this story I actually spent an hour walking around my apartment finding something that I would consider sticking my penis into and come to find out there is nothing that I own that I would want to put my penis near. Which I guess I am kind of happy about. I mean if I did find something I would probably be pretty freaked out and disappointed in myself.
Also what is the name of this fetish? The article calls him a “cycle-sexualist” but I think that is just a term the newspaper threw out there. I mean if the “cycle-sexualist” term is real is it all encompassing, what happens if they are only into unicycles? You know, actually I think I can live without finding the answers to that.
This is going up at humor-blogs.com.
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasnt for those pesky cleaners…..
I blame the damn republicans!
What the bloody hell……
Clearly the bike was asking for it…
I like big metallic blue 10 speeds…..
let me get this straight – he was in his room, in private,the cleaning crew walked in on him and he gets arrested? even after reading the story I still have a problem with him being arrested.
Does he when the pure genuis in the sexual weirdness catagory, hell yes. arrested for something done in private. no
So massive amounts of pedophiles are turned loose everyday, and this guy gets arrested AND Sentenced? I think this guy should find his lawyer and shove a bike up his ass!
Maybe he wasn’t putting his penis into the bike, maybe the bike was put into him…….
This is so totally wrong on so many levels.
BUT… seeing you post anything regarding sex turned me on. Sick… I know.
I’m confused why it is illegal to have sex with an inantimate object. Where does that leave the stuffed animals, pillows and dildos of the world? Who will love the dildos???
Ok first of all, I am in the middle of law school finals and really needed a laugh this morning so thank you very much.
Second… um… WHAT?
While creepy… yes… How can you get arrested for doing things, no matter how unnatural, in the privacy of your hotel room…
UNLESS he kinda lured the housekeepers in to get his jollies from exposing himself, and I hope that is the case… otherwise where are law abiding cycle-sexualist gonna get their groove on now?
Hahaha, I saw that story a few weeks ago and one where a lady was arrested for stealing a parrot and cutting off one of it’s legs to get the tag from the store off (I guess cutting the tag was too complicated?). I love these stories but I am surprised you can get arrested for doing something that is supposed to be in private that isn’t hurting anyone else. Disturbing, yeah, but illegal? Doesn’t really seem like it?
But… How?
Jesus there have been quite a few weird stories this year; remember the one about the woman snorting coke off her baby’s stomach in the van?
The sad part is; it’s fucking true!!!
“Robert Stewart a 51 one year old mail”
He must not of heard the knocking while he was going through the gears. I have that same problem when I’m rogering the shit out of my mountain bike….oh I mean girlfriend.
uh, how would you have liked to be that arresting cop! wow what a day he must have had!! i figure he must have been fairly small for any of him to fit in anything on a bike and make a smooth motion out of it
Trying to think of something funny to say, but the bloke had sex with a bike! Urgghh.
I just love a big beefy mountain bike!
I dont know whats more desperate, banging a bike or jerking off to your mothers good housekeeping mags
As bizarre as that is.. I don’t get how it’s illegal. Cleaners in hotels should know better than barging into occupied rooms. People do freaky things in hotels!
SO, what did he do, take off the seat and put his Johnson in the hole that the seat goes on, or did he sit on that pipe with his butt? Just wondering.
so…kev.
seriously.
you’re telling me you’ve NEVER put your junk in so much as a SOCK?
or at least an apple pie?
Thanks for the laugh at 330 am. Um I wonder if there is an anonymous meeting somewhere for these types of fetishes. (inaNimate p.s.)
would a tricycle have been a 3-some?
Ok Im way late on this one but I dont understand why he was arrested for what he was doing in the first place. Its not morally wrong, I mean he could have been raping someone or doing an animal or something. It may have been disgusting but he was in privacy and was not breaking a law…
Yummy! Did you see the size of the basket on the little one? Woof!
being “first” just doesnt seem that important anymore….
what happened to the thrill people used to get?
I am not exactly complaining about that
Sure why not
Your guess is as good as mine
LOL com’on Kevin you stuck your meat in the vacum hose before!!
It is England… They aren’t real people.
Did you see what it was wearing?
You will shove anything anywhere
I think they would have a problem getting around the tire.
There was no talk about insertion rectally at all.. The way the press makes it sound he was doing the banging
You may need help.
I think it is illegal to do it in front of other people who don’t want to see it.
I guess they said they knocked multiple times with no answer… then went in… only to see him going in.
This explains my adoration of you….
I concur.
Any suggestions?
But he wasn’t in public, he was alone in his room. Yes the hostel staff did see him going at it and I wholeheartedly believe they didn’t want to see that. But the article doesn’t say if he intended for them to walk in and see him.
Actually, it was in SCOTLAND where they ALL do that kind of thing. In Wales it’s pretty much limited to sheep.
I too have a problem with the fact the cleaners had to knock repeatedly and then unlock his locked door before they found him banging his Raleigh in the privacy of his own room – quite how that equates to ‘breach of the peace’ I’m not sure.
The best part was his explanation in court where he said it had all been a big mistake after having too much to drink.
That is only for clean up… not fucking
He probably swung the front wheel around and was using the handles as outties. lol angela btw thanks for the add where ever it supposed to go.